The Human and Humane Self-Help Author ~ Dolores Ayotte

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QUOTES AND ANECDOTES

“The battle of life is, in most cases, fought uphill; and to win without a struggle were perhaps to win it without honour.  If there were no difficulties there would be no success; if there were nothing to struggle for, there would be nothing to be achieved.”  (Samuel Smiles)

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My books are written in a gentle, conversational style, meant to reach my readers in a kind and non-judgmental way.

Both books, are self-help books about the steps I used to help me overcome two serious bouts with depression that I experienced in my earlier years. They are written in recipe format giving thirteen simple steps in each book that are easy to incorporate into daily living. In order to get out of the pit I found myself to be in, I had to do much soul-searching and reflection to get to the source of my depression.

My books are what I consider to be heart books.  They are written from my heart to any and all hearts that are open to my message. They are also written with the intention of reaching out to help people by sharing some of my personal experiences. Others may be able to identify with some of my stories and anecdotes.

Hopefully, my suggestions will enhance the lives of my readers in much the same way they have enhanced mine.

Through my faith,  eventual self-acceptance, and with the support of my husband, I was not only able to rise above my despair, I learned how to lead a full and rewarding life with my husband, children and now several grandchildren

My recipe for life consists of a little bit of this and a little bit of that borne from my life experiences. Usually, when I use all of the ingredients and steps…I end up with a pretty good product. Sometimes…I can still fail. It is this failure to succeed all of the time that helps remind of my humanity and the fact that I am not perfect and it’s okay.

To order “I’m Not Perfect And It’s Okay”, please click on one of the following:

Amazon USA

Amazon CANADA

Barnes and Noble

To order “Growing Up & Liking It”, please click on one of the following:

Amazon USA:

Amazon CANADA

Barnes & Noble:

THE ROAD OF LIFE ~ December 31, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND ANECDOTES

“If you make the unconditional commitment to reach your most important goals, if the strength of your decision is sufficient, you will find the way and the power to achieve your goals. “ (Bob Conklin)

I would like to thank each and every one of you for your wonderful support in 2011. I know we all lead busy lives and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for spending these precious moments with me.

At this time, I would also like to wish you good health and much happiness in 2012.  The above quote is so appropriate as we start the New Year….when we set new goals and make a personal commitment to hope filled resolutions…when we dare to dream as we strive to reach these lofty goals for our good and the good of all.  Take gentle care my dear friends!

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Seeing Beauty When There’s None ~ December 30, 2011 by Nikki Rosen

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES & ANECDOTES

“He who has courage and faith will never perish in misery.” ~ Anne Frank

It’s hard to think Anne Frank was only 14 when she wrote this. Fourteen and hated – for no other reason than being Jewish. Fourteen and having her world as she had known it – turned upside down. Fourteen and not able to go outside to smell the flowers, or attend a dance or sit in a classroom and daydream about boys or her future or life…..

In spite of the hatred and brutality that had taken over her world – in spite of the being stripped of all the comforts of home and school and friendships – in spite of those who believed she had no right to exist….fourteen year old Anne wrote as if her world was normal…as if nothing had changed…putting her thoughts down on paper….the thoughts of a normal teen…..

I try to visualize what it must have felt like to be fourteen and forced to live in a small space with people terrified for their lives – fearing the craziness of those who wanted to kill not only you but your whole race – people who lived with fear that if they were found – they would die….or worse…

Anguish – cries heard in the streets – family, friends, respected elders – taken – their lives stolen – beaten like violent criminals – in temples, in shops, in communities – there was no safe place….nowhere to hide. It was always just a matter of time.

Yet in the midst of that senseless brutality – fourteen year old Anne kept her diary and wrote like any typical young teen pondering the world around her and her place in it.

Her words strong, positive, powerful: “I twist my heart round again, so that the bad is on the outside and the good is on the inside, and keep trying to find a way of becoming what I would so like to be….I don’t think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains….”

I didn’t have the strength that Anne had. Or the courage – nor her positive outlook. I felt the hatred and I hated back. I felt the brutality and I wanted to lash out against every perpetrator who hurt me. I let the brutality pull me into its lies – into its fear, into its hatred – Everything in my world was black – dark  – I saw no beauty. I wanted so bad to give up and to give in to the darkness. I saw no hope – no light – no meaning.

Anne had been raised by loving parents – parents who gave her security and a strong foundation  – so strong that when the darkness came – she was able to push it aside and still see beauty. I’m trying to parent my girls that way. Maybe it’s working. My oldest 13 – almost 14 – is amazingly positive. She inspires me – she teaches me….

Growing up in a Jewish home – I heard the phrase over and over: “to not remember the past is to be condemned to repeat it.” I used to wonder why do Jewish people constantly talk about what happened….and hold memorials and give honor to the survivors.   I was told – ‘so it will never happen again. From one generation to the next – we must tell what happened.’

I think I’m beginning to understand…..to tell of the brutality we lived – in some way is a protection for the next generation – to know – to be aware – to live a bit differently – to understand there is darkness – but there’s also a strength, a hope – a light with each survivor who stands up and says, “I survived. The darkness couldn’t destroy me.”

I never wanted anyone to know what happened to me – all those things I lived – Today I want you to know, “I survived.” And every time I read some of your blogs – and know you too have survived – I’m cheering

Thank you so much Nikki for sharing such an intimate part of your self with us.

Nikki Rosen is the award-winning Author of   “In The Eye of Deception” (A True Story).

Website: 
http://gentlerecovery.webs.com

Blog Site: 
http://cultofdeception.blogspot.com

Blog Site: Tips & Tools for Healing from Trauma 
http://www.gentlerecovery.blogspot.com

 

Psst…Hey EWE! ~ December 29, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

Hope…thanks so much for reading this post and reminding me to put it where others can read it! This was one of my very firsts articles.  Your lovely blog reminded me of the importance of its message.
http://eyesonhope.wordpress.com

Yes you!  Now that I’ve caught your attention I really want to talk to you.  By chance do you enjoy doing Crosswords and other types of puzzles?  If so, this is the article for you.

Ever since I can remember, I have been a puzzle solver.  I love the mental challenge of trying to figure things out.  It is unbelievable how mentally stimulating and life enriching these puzzles can be. There is a wealth of knowledge at our fingertips just ready to be tapped into on a daily basis in most local newspapers.  

Now why did I choose the word EWE in my title to get your attention?  Most of you probably know that EWE is another word for a female sheep.  Over and over again this word comes up in Crossword Puzzles.  Every time I see it when solving a puzzle, it reminds me of Jesus Christ and how He is described as the gentle Lamb.  If we are to emulate Christ and follow in His footsteps we, too, must be like gentle lambs in our dealings with people. 

As we all know, it is not always easy to be gentle and kind.  Many times in life, our patience is tested as we become frustrated with the people around us.  In some instances, people may be unaware of this fact but on other occasions we may only be fooling ourselves into thinking that they don’t take notice of exactly how we feel.  The tone of our voice and our body language can quickly give away our true feelings despite what our words may say.  

I find as I do my daily Crossword Puzzle that God works in mysterious ways.  I hear God’s Word in many ways as I solve these puzzles. I can do an examination of conscience and ask myself if I have had any cross…words with any one in my life.  God can prompt me many times throughout these puzzles if I am open to His cues/clues.  He reminds me to be like the Lamb and follow in His footsteps when I come across the word EWE. 

Other times, one of the clues will ask for the letters found on the cross.  Yes…INRI.  There again, I am reminded that the Lamb died on the cross for the salvation of humankind.  This inscription reinforces that fact that I have sinned and Jesus’ forgiveness was so great that He chose to die on the cross to save my soul.  He is the Teacher and I am the student. Often times, I need to be reminded to be ready to forgive at all times because my transgressions have so generously been forgiven. 

It is truly amazing to see the many creative ways that God can reach out to people. God has a way of utilizing all his followers and reminding them of their mission in life.   We only need to be open to hearing the message!   I much prefer Crosswords to cross…words, if EWE know what I mean.

 

JUST THE FACTS MA’AM….JUST THE FACTS ~ December 28, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

MEMORY LANE

Oh my gosh!  Please tell me I’m not the only one who remembers Sargeant Joe Friday played by Jack Webb on the weekly television show Dragnet.  There has to be someone out there who remembers him besides me.  That show is so old and I know I’m dating myself here, but this famous quote that has been associated with Joe Friday resonates in my life today. 

We have recently gone through an emotional situation in my family. It’s wonderful to see how much we all care and how passionate we all are about what we “think” and “feel”.  We are what I consider to be a passionate lot. I guess when you are part of one family, you have no idea how other people operate within their own families. Perhaps when it comes to someone or something we love or care about, we are all passionate and operate much the same way. I have no idea if this holds true. Only you can tell me how you or your family handles a crisis situation. I hope you do by leaving a comment. 

If there is one thing I notice in life, not only in dealing with personal problems, the closer to home the situation is, the more emotional we become and as a result, the less objective.  Whether positive or negative, emotions can cloud our vision and hamper our judgment. We need our emotions.  They make us tick and are a vital part of our human nature. However, when we are very emotional about a situation, we can let them get the better of us.

At times, it is not only necessary but better to step back and let cooler heads prevail. This can be very tough to do in any situation but in a crisis situation it is essential to make a wise and informed decision. I agree with Sargeant Friday.  Sometimes, we need “just the facts” without the emotions riding rampant.  I’m taking Sargeant Friday’s words of advice to heart.  Oftentimes, I need to be reminded to go for a walk to clear my head and deal with “just the facts”.  What about you?  

By the way, I checked that famous quote out. Joe Friday really said “All we know are the facts, ma’am”.  It kind of morphed into “Just the facts, ma’ma…just the facts” over the years. As far as I’m concerned, as long as we deal with “just the facts”, we will make much wiser decisions.  However, it doesn’t hurt to check them out as well to ensure that they actually are the facts.  

       

LOVE TRIANGLE ~ December 27, 2011 by Fred Ayotte

MEMORY LANE 

I know many of you have heard of a love triangle where 2 people love the same person. In this situation, the two suitors usually don’t like each other at all. This happened to me during my 30’s and 40’s with my wonderful wife. 

In my late 30’s, one of my twin daughters on her thirteenth birthday, acquired a brownish-red miniature poodle named Joey. He was a very beautiful dog. However, as time went by in our house, Joey came to believe that he and my wife were the married couple and that I was in the way. 

Many times I had to set him straight. For instance, my wife always went to bed a few hours earlier than me. Joey would jump onto the bed and sleep on my side. When I came to bed later, he did not want to move. I had to physically remove him (very gently) and put him on the floor so that I could get into my side of the bed. There were many other similar occasions like this where he thought I was the third wheel in our house and I had to set him straight yet again. Needless to say I was not a big fan of his and he wanted nothing to do with me for being like this. 

Many years later, when my daughter eventually got her own place, she took Joey with her. Well, as you know, dogs do not have as long a life span as humans. In his 13th year, Joey became quite sick. After numerous trips to the vet, we knew it was just a matter of time until he would have to be put down in order to prevent him from needless suffering. 

A few days before he passed away, we were visiting at our daughter’s apartment. I was sitting on a chair and Joey came right up to me and just sat right at my feet. I reached down to pick him up and he didn’t put up a fuss like he normally did. He just sat on my lap very quietly without even trying to move or get down. 

A few days later he passed away. I know, even if no one else believes me that Joey came to me before he died so we could make amends for our relationship. In his own way he was forgiving me for my behaviour. It’s too bad, we as humans; often times can’t be anywhere near as forgiving as Joey. What a wonderful world this would be if we were.  Don’t you agree?

Thanks Fred for reminding me how precious Joey was in our lives and also for the gentle reminder of the need for forgiveness.

 

Even Guardian Angels Sometimes Need Extra Help ~ December 26, 2011 by Dorothy Griffore

MEMORY LANE

5:00 am in the morning is my favorite time to sit quietly and listen for inspiration from God before I start my busy day. On this particular Tuesday morning in late fall, as I enjoyed the presence of the Lord, I heard the sound of angels’ wings – lots of angels’ wings.

Knowing I already had a guardian angel to watch over me I responded with joy and exuberance. I thanked God for the extra angels and told Him that I felt so special that He would surround me with so many angels. I knew this was going to be a special day. What surprises did God have in store for me?

Eagerly I grabbed my cup of coffee, brief case, and keys. I then headed off to work driving my husband’s truck rather than my car.  I felt uplifted and was able to maneuver in and out of traffic. Seeing a traffic light ahead and knowing I had enough time to make it through the light, I didn’t ease up on the accelerator but continued at 45 mph. As I was entering the intersection, a SUV made a left hand turn in front of me. I didn’t have time to hit the brakes but without any hesitation, I turned the wheel to the left, missed the semi next to me, swerved into oncoming traffic and continued back into my lane.

The whole incident seemed to be in slow motion. I didn’t panic. It was as though I had help avoiding the SUV. I managed to miss all of the other vehicles. It truly was divine intervention and I knew who helped me. I had my guardian angel but I also had lots of other angels helping me that morning. In the midst of the adrenaline and my heart pounding, I began to thank God for His gift that day of extra angels.  This truly was a very special day!

Thank you very much Dorothy for describing how guardian angels work in our lives.

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“Faith is the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1)

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DRIP…DROP ~ December 24, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND ANECDOTES

When we think about erosion in our environment, we may picture a huge wave beating against the wall of a cliff at sea. Eventually as it pounds away, the cliff caves in and the waves continue to erode the shore line.

In many of our personal relationships, the erosion that takes place doesn’t always  occur in the same dramatic way. Sometimes, it does take one big upset similar to a tsunami to end a relationship but usually it takes many years of neglect or even physical or emotional abuse. At times, our unacceptable or unattractive behavior is more subtle, like a lack of consideration or at times unkind behavior as the drip…drop of our uncaring ways eat away at  the bond we may have once shared.  The drip….drop may include gossip or maligning. The drip…drop may also include conditional love.

Whether with family or friends, a continuous drip…drop of inappropriate behavior eventually takes its toll and the relationship caves in much like the major erosion that takes place at sea.

To create and maintain a quality relationship, it is necessary to show that we care. We do this by taking the time to cultivate or maintain these special connections. In doing so, it is necessary to put forth the much-needed effort in order to keep the relationship alive and healthy.  If we don’t do this, the relationship will not be very positive or rewarding and more than likely will eventually die.

Caring about the people we love involves making them feel like a special part of our lives. It’s not about taking them for granted but rather about showing our appreciation and love for them in some of the simplest ways…putting them first on the list instead of last, a special card, a visit…or any other small act of kindness that we may choose in order to let our family or friends know we love them.

Please, during this special Christmas Season as we are celebrating the birth of Jesus, it is wise to remind ourselves to make room in the “Inn” of our hearts instead of allowing the drip…drop…of our behavior to force family and friends into the stable of our lives. If that’s where they are…perhaps we must ask ourselves why.  Have we really and honestly made room at our “Inn” or have we made them feel like they belong outside? Having room at our “Inn” is a year-long activity not a once a year occasion.

Hopefully, the true meaning of Christmas and the celebration of Christ’s birth, will also be exemplified by our behavior between New Years and Christmas, rather than the short week between Christmas and New Years.  On this note, I would like to wish you a wondrous, peaceful, and joyous Christ-filled Christmas as well as an abundant 2012 with room in your “Inn” to celebrate all year-long!

A RAG DOLL CHRISTMAS ~ December 23, 2011 by Barbara Robinson

MEMORY LANE ~ Merry Christmas Everyone!

“Just what do you think you’re doing? That doll was meant to be your Christmas present.” Mom stood in the door, and her eyes shot sparks. It was a couple of days before Christmas. She’d been busy with company, and I’d decided I couldn’t wait.  

 I was caught red-handed standing on a chair pulled up to the closet, but I quickly shoved the doll back into the bag and placed the blankets on the top shelf over her. “Sorry, Mom.” 

 ”And you should be. You know I can’t afford anything else, and now you know what you’re getting for Christmas.” She turned and stalked from the room. I climbed down and placed the chair back by the bed. Disappointed, I’d planned to slip the doll back into the closet and not let Mom know I knew what I was getting. I hadn’t meant to ruin her surprise. And, it was just like her to get some sort of doll. I should’ve known without even having to look.  

Mom’s voice rang from the adjoining room. “Now, it won’t be a surprise.” 

“At least sissy will still have one.” It was my turn to stand in the door and eye her “I love her. I’ll still be happy on Christmas morning. I can’t wait to get her.”   

Mom glared for a second. “Seems you can’t wait for anything.” Then, her face softened. “It’s just that I wanted our first Christmas without your dad to be special.” Dad died when I was only four years old on Christmas Day. It’s only been a year. The way I looked at it, this one had to be better no matter what. It couldn’t get any worse than the last one, could it?  

“Curiosity kills the cat, you know.”  

“What?” I glanced at Mom, but she laughed. “Forget it.” 

“I guess it killed the Christmas surprise this year.”  I hung my head.  

Christmas morn I found a stocking with fruit and candy, the rag doll stuck in the top. When I look back upon that morning, I call it my rag-doll Christmas, because that was all I got that year.  

It wasn’t until I grew up and had children of my own that it dawned on me just how much I’d spoiled the holiday for Mom. She only received a small social-security check once a month after my father’s death. As I look back with an adult’s eyes, I realize how hard it must have been for my mother who always tried her best to make ends meet and make our Christmas special. But, she had me for a daughter, a curious little tomboy of a girl who always managed to find some way to spoil every surprise she planned. I blame it on my love for mystery, of course, but I now realize how disappointed she had to have been. She wanted to watch her young daughter open her Christmas gift with wide-eyed surprise and wonder. I just never had the knack for being surprised, since I couldn’t wait long enough to let anything  be one.  

Now, I realize I missed a lot of fun that way, and you really do remember surprises more, but that’s one rag-doll Christmas I’ll never forget. Like memories, good surprises are to be cherished, and they’re so much more fun. But the greatest Christmas gift of all is sweet Jesus, and He’s one surprise I didn’t find too soon.

Thanks Barb for sharing another one of your incredible memories with all of us.  It’s a wonderful Christmas story and it teaches a little lesson too!                                                                                           

 

 

B. J. Robinson makes her home in Florida with her husband, a cocker spaniel named Sunflower, and an adopted shelter cat named Frankie.

 

Visit her at http://barbarajrobinson.blogspot.com for more of her writing and Christian book reviews.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

           

 

 

Positive Attitude ~ December 22, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

MEMORY LANE

I recall going bowling in my younger years and to be honest, I do not have an athletic bone in my body.  I got the worst score possible.  It was so embarrassing!  I didn’t even realize that anyone had been watching me until after the game when this gentleman came up to me and introduced himself as a minister. 

He said something which has stuck in my mind all these years… something that I didn’t even realize I was doing.  Obviously  he could see how badly I was bowling.  It was pretty apparent but he proceeded to tell me that after every ball I threw, no matter how bad it was, I would turn around and smile at my fellow bowlers.  He then told me how wonderful he thought this was.  Wow…it was like, how could anyone smile after bowling the way I did!  I was so grateful for the compliment that I thanked him and then gave him one of my biggest smiles.  It meant the world to me that someone had given me such a fine a compliment.

That’s me in a nutshell, forever the smiley one…forever the eternal optimist.  You know the one. The one, who would be searching for a puppy if she found a pile of dung in the garage while someone else would be cursing the mess.  I would think that someone probably gave me a new puppy as a gift and I would be busy trying to find it.  There could be no other explanation!  Right?

You want to know my secret? I can usually find the bright side to just about anything. This has been my saving grace in facing the ups and downs of daily living. It has been said that “it is worth a thousand pounds a year to have the habit of looking on the bright side of things”. (Johnson)  So in other words, it is probably where some of my greatest wealth lies because in most instances this is how I choose to view life.   Choose is the key word here. In life we have many choices and our attitude usually has a huge impact on how we view life.  I guess you could always ask yourself if you see your “glass as half empty or half full”.  Your answer might give you a better understanding of what I mean.

 

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND ANECDOTES

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” (William James)

“The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose” (J. Martin Kohe)