A Woman's Voice

BLOG HOPPING DAY ~ Humility ~ June 22, 2011

Posted in BLOG HOPPING by doloresayotte on June 22, 2011
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Many times in life, we will come across a post or passage that we couldn’t express any better even if we tried. This article by Jan Coates is an example of one such article.

She starts off by saying…We in America are definitely not a humble bunch. We see magazines, newspapers, and televisions filled with information on how to build ourselves up, how to increase our self-esteem, and how to be bigger and better than the rest of the world… 

I hope you will take a few moments to read Jan’s entire article as she shares so much about herself and her beliefs. Please visit Humility. Thanks Jan for being so open and honest!

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY ~ You Asked…I Answered (part 2) ~ April 21, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

What was the hardest thing about writing this book? (I’m Not Perfect And It’s Okay)

The hardest thing about writing this book was making the decision to be so open and honest about my feelings.  I had hidden my depression from others, with the exception of my husband, for so long that I had no idea how people would react to this revelation.  I have discovered since the launch of my book that many people are willing to share their journeys or tales of depression with me, however, most prefer that they remain anonymous.  Still to this day by what I’ve heard and observed, depression is not looked upon by all, as merely another type of illness or disorder. 

One of my closest friends asked me if I felt more vulnerable after writing about my mental illness which is what depression is considered to be.  Without a doubt, I certainly did and still do at times!   The most difficult part was facing people after they had read what I had shared with them.  I did not want my relationships to change.  Generally speaking, they have not.  In fact, my fears have been put to rest because several people have demonstrated more admiration and respect for me as a result of my efforts. 

Of the 13 tips you shared for getting through life, which do you feel is the most valuable? 

Of the 13 tips that I shared with my readers, the one I feel is of the most value is the very first one, that of learning to love yourself.  During this very difficult stage of my life I not only suffered from depression but I also had a very negative self-image as a result.  At that time, I could hardly bring myself to look in the mirror and love what I saw in it…my own image.  I not only felt self loathing, I felt that others could not find much to love in me either.  Thus, first and foremost, I had to relearn to love myself instead of looking at my reflection in such a negative way…that of an utter failure. Due to my illness, I could not return to my teaching career and was at a major turning point in my life. It was necessary for me to figure things out. Therefore, this book is actually being written in retrospect.  I needed to live life first and then reflect back to better describe the choices I made along the way in order to have a full and rewarding existence. 

As in all recipes, some ingredients are vital to the recipe and cannot be substituted.  In my book, I feel that the first step is the most essential in order to make this recipe work.  A lot of people are unhappy with themselves.  My recipe calls for admitting this fact if it applies. I also stressed learning how to be happier with whom you really are rather than what you may want to be. It doesn’t mean to say that a person cannot grow but growth stems from an honest assessment of self.  This process requires some self-examination, a dose of truth serum, and the desire to move on from this point.  This could possibly be done by incorporating some of my recommendations into daily living.  When I have off days, which most of us do, I still refer to my own book and try my best to follow my own advice. 

I recently wrote an article about the “stigma” of mental illness.  Mike Falcon’s article  (Spotlight Health) with medical advisor Stephen A. Shoop M.D. in USA Today coincides with my post titled “Dear Abby”.  I hope you will take a moment to check it out.  Two more articles you might want to read regarding depression are Here To Help and About Depression.  The more aware and informed we all are about this oftentimes, debilitating condition, the more compassionate, empathetic and tolerant we will eventually become.  

To be continued…also, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask and I will answer them to the best of my ability.  The above questions were asked by Laura Davis on Interviews and Reviews.        


This is a very profound quote.  If I can leave anything with you today, I would like to give you the gift of believing in yourself. It won’t happen in one day, but maybe it will be the first seed that when nurtured, will bloom into a very fruitful tree. So many of us look for validation outside of ourselves to identify who we are by how others react to us.  We may look to others for approval instead of being our authentic self.  It is necessary to find that validation from within in order to have a true belief in ourselves.

If we rely on others to form this belief, we may lose sight of all that we hope to be because we have compromised facets of our own personality and character so that we will be loved and accepted. This is conditional love. It takes real courage and true grit to be different and stand up for our beliefs. We can only find this courage when we have the strength and determination to validate who we are from the inner stirrings of our Maker.

These stirrings may begin by a dissatisfaction or lack of contentment in our lives that just won’t leave us, but there is a reason for this. If we are always satisfied with our situation in life, there would be no room for growth or any desire to change our circumstances or anyone else’s for that matter.  Growth results in many fine attributes like self-worth, self-esteem and a desire to make a difference.  With these attributes, we learn about hope and the gift of believing in ourselves…a gift so wondrous that we can stand tall and be exactly whom we were meant to be regardless of other people’s opinion of us. Be true to these inner stirrings and you will learn how to believe in yourself.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF — November 24, 2010 by Dolores Ayotte

Posted in A WOMAN'S VOICE,INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND ANECDOTES by doloresayotte on November 24, 2010
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“The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try and the faith to believe that it is possible.”  (Richard M. DeVos)

“The strongest single factor in prosperity consciousness is self-esteem: believing you can do it, believing you deserve it, believing you will get it.” (Jerry Gillies)

“You have to believe in yourself.  And you have to, down deep within the bottom of your soul, feel that you can do the job that you’ve set out to do.”  (William Castle DeVries) 

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