A Woman's Voice

LOVE TRIANGLE ~ December 27, 2011 by Fred Ayotte

Posted in MEMORY LANE,WORDS OF WISDOM ~ A MAN'S VOICE by doloresayotte on December 27, 2011
Tags: , , , ,


I know many of you have heard of a love triangle where 2 people love the same person. In this situation, the two suitors usually don’t like each other at all. This happened to me during my 30’s and 40’s with my wonderful wife. 

In my late 30’s, one of my twin daughters on her thirteenth birthday, acquired a brownish-red miniature poodle named Joey. He was a very beautiful dog. However, as time went by in our house, Joey came to believe that he and my wife were the married couple and that I was in the way. 

Many times I had to set him straight. For instance, my wife always went to bed a few hours earlier than me. Joey would jump onto the bed and sleep on my side. When I came to bed later, he did not want to move. I had to physically remove him (very gently) and put him on the floor so that I could get into my side of the bed. There were many other similar occasions like this where he thought I was the third wheel in our house and I had to set him straight yet again. Needless to say I was not a big fan of his and he wanted nothing to do with me for being like this. 

Many years later, when my daughter eventually got her own place, she took Joey with her. Well, as you know, dogs do not have as long a life span as humans. In his 13th year, Joey became quite sick. After numerous trips to the vet, we knew it was just a matter of time until he would have to be put down in order to prevent him from needless suffering. 

A few days before he passed away, we were visiting at our daughter’s apartment. I was sitting on a chair and Joey came right up to me and just sat right at my feet. I reached down to pick him up and he didn’t put up a fuss like he normally did. He just sat on my lap very quietly without even trying to move or get down. 

A few days later he passed away. I know, even if no one else believes me that Joey came to me before he died so we could make amends for our relationship. In his own way he was forgiving me for my behaviour. It’s too bad, we as humans; often times can’t be anywhere near as forgiving as Joey. What a wonderful world this would be if we were.  Don’t you agree?

Thanks Fred for reminding me how precious Joey was in our lives and also for the gentle reminder of the need for forgiveness.


REMEMBRANCE DAY — November 11, 2011 by Fred Ayotte


We all know what Remembrance Day stands for. It is the day we stop and pay respect to all the soldiers in our Armed Forces who fought in wars. It is to thank them for what they did so that today we can enjoy the freedoms many people throughout the world still do not have and can’t even dream of having. 

Remembrance Day also has another very special meaning to me. My wife teases me when she says that I often don’t remember important dates. Well, I will always remember Remembrance Day, 1968. It was the day I proposed to my wife of now 42 years. You may ask why I picked that day. It is so I would never forget the anniversary of our engagement and at the young age of nineteen, one of the most important decisions of my life. 

It is the day that my fiancée and I started getting ready for a lifelong journey. It has been a fantastic ride for which I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. 

Therefore, for me, Remembrance Day is a day to thank those brave soldiers who allowed us to have this life and to thank my beautiful wife for agreeing to go on this wonderful never-ending trip with me.

Fred, Remembrance Day has a two-fold meaning to me as well. I will never forget either one. Thank you to all the soldiers who fought for our freedom and thanks to you too Fred, for asking me to be your wife on that memorable day so many years ago. 



A MAN’S VOICE ~ From a Male’s Point of View ~ (My Husband’s Voice) Fred Ayotte ~ October 5, 2011

“A Woman’s Voice!”   I jokingly said to my wife that because I have been listening to a woman’s voice my entire life, I should write an article for her blog. I told her that after all these years, I am now an expert. Surprisingly, she agreed to let me do it. 

I grew up in matriarchal home where my mother was the dominant voice. She provided me with the strong will and character that allowed me to achieve the success that I have to this day. At 20, I was fortunate enough to marry a beautiful and intelligent, but strong-willed woman. She has continued to provide me with excellent advice and direction throughout my life. I once said to her, that the only person I feared in life was her. If she only knew how true that was….lol.

Through this union I was blessed with 3 beautiful daughters who have continued (or at least tried) to guide me in life. Now I am the proud grandfather of 6 girls and 2 boys. Trust me, these granddaughters have now taken up the arduous task of trying to instruct me and my two grandsons on the ways of life. We must be slow learners??? 

I have found that women bring a different and often times a gentler perspective to things. They tend to balance the approach taken by a man. Several times during my working years, my wife would offer an alternative to a personnel problem that I was facing. By looking at both sides, I was able to come up with a much better solution. 

So as you can see, I have heard a woman’s voice many times in my life. Seriously, it is a sweet sound which I would not trade for anything in the world.

Thank you Fred!



“Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.” (Aldous Huxley)

A MAN’S VOICE ~ WORDS OF WISDOM ~ June 7, 2011 by Charles Betts


Dolores; Good Tues. A.M. to you and your readers. I must say I look forward to checking out your blogs each day I come back to work. The one from Mon. was interesting again.

Leadership is indeed quite a thing in this life. With leadership comes a tremendous responsibility. It takes me to the scripture that says” Make straight paths for your feet so those who follow will not go astray” [ my paraphrase]. To me, those who lead just because they are willing to take charge, sometimes lack the necessary ingredient of good and true leadership. That being the ability to recognize that some of those whom they lead need assistance along the way. Being a take-charge kind of person sometimes means we lose patience with those who are not in the same mold as we. Good people and much talent and potential is lost along the way.

When I was a very young man learning carpentry skills I was blessed to have worked with two kindly older gentlemen. They had great skills and were so patient and gentle as they brought me along the path of development. I remember particularly an incident that at the time stood out as phenomenal to me. One of these men and I were working on cabinets and he was at that time recognized as an exceptional cabinet-maker. Another gentleman came by the house and proceeded to explain to my mentor the proper procedure for what we were doing. My mentor listened so patiently until the man was done and had left and then we carried on doing it the way he knew was right. I was just so impressed because, being young at the time, my response would have been to tell this man that he didn’t know what he was talking about and that I knew right well how to do my job. It taught me a life lesson that has stuck with me ever since and I have learned to put this same principle into daily practice.

Another thing about leadership is that we must recognize our indebtedness to those who follow. Without them there would be no need for leadership and we would soon be without our jobs. We need them as much as they need us. As you mentioned, it takes all different personalities to make the world go around.

In regards to “finding oneself”, as Christ mentioned, those who would find themselves must first lose themselves in Him. Until this happens we all struggle with being someone we don’t want to be, and not being someone we wish we were. I think one reason we are so impatient many times with others is because we are impatient with our own shortcomings. When we have learned to deal with ourselves we are then prepared to deal effectively with others. Whether we are leaders or followers.

Once again, thanks for the article and allowing me to share a point of view. I recognize well that when it is all said and done, this is only my point of view.

Have a great day and God Bless, Charles Betts

Charles…I very much appreciate you stopping by and adding your “words of wisdom” to my articles. I agree wholeheartedly with you that it is necessary to lose ourselves in Christ in order to truly find ourselves. It takes much faith and great courage to do this but in the end it is well worth it.  Christ never leaves us nor will He let us down.

A MAN’S VOICE ~ WORDS OF WISDOM ~ A Response to “Shadow of the Hammer” by Charles Betts June 3, 2011

Once again, Charles Betts has shared his “words of wisdom” with me. I have chosen to share them with you.  This is his response to Scarred Seeker which was posted on Wednesday. Thank you Charles for taking the time to share what is in your heart.

Dolores; What sadness I read in this lady’s post. So many people unhappy with who they are lash out at others, Thinking, I think, that somehow this lashing out and deflating others will cause themselves to appear higher on the scale of humanity. It has been my decision since a young man in my late teens that the words I use would build and strengthen those I converse with. Once I began practising this I soon realized that when a person is happy with who they are they tend to leave others alone. One of my first thoughts when I hear someone degrading another is, ” here is a very unhappy person”. I have yet to see this otherwise.

My father was a very verbally abusive person. Thankfully for me, by the time I was 15-16 years old, I realized that his problems need not become mine, nor his character mine. By God’s grace and the scriptures I was able to forgive him and pray for his change. At the same time, I believe it was due to God helping me to recognize these traits, that I was able to change how my person developed. I am so glad He did.

I would also like to discuss some the part about controllers. It is my believe that controllers want to control because they are afraid to love and open their heart to love. They are also afraid to share their soul because they are afraid they will lose a part of themselves somehow. I liken it sometimes to the widow who was told to go to her neighbors and borrow as many vessels as she could and fill them with the meager oil supply she had. The oil did not run out until the vessels stopped coming. Such is love I feel. We are to put as much into all who come as we can. It will not run out unless we stop pouring. Once we stop then the supply stops.

I recognize that many times it takes great courage to love some people who we know will abuse that love. I think I mentioned in another email to you that my loving people has nothing to do with them many times, but more of what is in my heart to do. If they choose to abuse or under-appreciate that love, then that is their choice and a further indication of a very troubled soul.
I was so very glad to read where this lady indicates that her healing has begun. As we help others to heal we heal ourselves. To her I say, let the healing flow outward and then it will surely happen inside.
God Bless you and her for sharing, Charles Betts

FREE DRAW ~ Anyone who leaves a comment on any article from now until June 15th, gets their name put in a draw for a free copy of my book ”Growing Up & Liking It”.  The more comments that you leave the greater your chances of winning. Good Luck!

A MAN’S VOICE ~ Words of Wisdom ~ May 22, 2011 by Charles Betts

Charles Betts is a wonderful poet and a regular contributor to my blog site. I not only enjoy his inspirational poetry, I always feel great pleasure in the comments he leaves after some of my other posts. Charles is a very gifted man who has taken his calling very seriously. Today I am posting his latest comment as food for thought on this lovely Sunday morning. His words are my gift to you. Enjoy!

Charles says…I read with interest your daughters poetry. Thank her for me for sharing her heart and being unafraid to share with the world a part of herself. It takes courage to do so and also a lot of inner awareness of who we are to just put ourselves out there for others to read and be OK with their thoughts of us. For me the big thing was to know that God was OK with who I am and what I shared. After that, even though I care how they feel, their concept of me is less important than His. Please tell her I enjoyed her poem.

Now to todays blog (referring to Thoughtful Thursday). For me, in this season of my life, a scripture that has had a huge influence on me has been the one found in Jer: 9:24&25. It goes something like this;” Let not the rich man glory in his riches or the strong man in his strength, but let him that glories, glory in this, that he knows and understands me, that I am the God that exercises loving-kindness, justice and righteousness in the earth and in these things I rejoice”

When I read this a few years ago it was like a huge lightbulb went off in my soul and I knew right away that God wanted me to join His exercise program. Especially the loving-kindness part. Like any program, the more we practise it, the better we get. I decided that I would get as good as I could and not be deterred by any opposition. Whether others knew what I was doing or not, I believed and still do, that God knew and it was between Him and I and not the ones around me.

When I saw the love God has for people and the things He tolerates in us, it became easier to treat others in a loving way. Not because we deserve His love but because He is love. So it is for me, not that others deserve any kindness but because God has put it in me and they need it.

This has been a great blessing in my life and has changed how I view others and deal with them. lt makes it so that my being who I am is not dependent on them, but on my relationship with God. As long as it is OK, I am OK.

Have a great weekend and thanks for allowing me to share with you and your readers, Charles Betts

You are most welcome Charles and thanks to you too. Have a blessed weekend and a wonderful week to follow. 

FREE DRAW ~ Anyone who leaves a comment on any article from now until June 15th, gets their name put in a draw for a free copy of my book ”Growing Up & Liking It”.  The more comments that you leave the greater your chances of winning. Good Luck!

A MAN’S VOICE ~ Lost In The Mirror ~ April 19, 2011 by Charles Betts

Dolores; I read with interest your article today. To go along with this, I would like to interject that my experience in life has been, many people are unhappy today because they don’t have a connection with who they really are. They search so hard for that which is better left alone and spend so little effort searching for that which means so much. The first being the approval of others and the second being the approval of themselves in and through Christ. No wonder that the scriptures say ” He who will find himself must first lose himself in me and whoever will lose himself in me will find himself” There is no substitute that I know of. Many have tried other things but I have found this alone works. When I become overwhelmed in life, it has been my experience that by looking it over carefully, I have been attempting things on my own. Time to stop and retrace and do what I know I should, ask for and follow God’s plan.

I am also including a poem I did that sort of goes along with this. Enjoy and God bless you, yours and your readers, Charles Betts

Lost In The Mirror

I felt lost in the mirror’s reflection
‘Cause I wasn’t really sure it was me
I couldn’t seem to make the connection
‘Tween them and who I wanted to be

Like a mirror looking into a mirror
The reflections just kept going on
The ones at the back disappeared
It seemed to me that I was a pawn

I fell under the strong influence of others
I made changes I thought they’d accept
I thought for sure I would be smothered
Every change left me feeling so inept

Then one day my whole world fell apart
I couldn’t stand what I saw in my face
So I asked Jesus to come into my heart
He filled me with His mercy and grace

Now I like what the mirror is reflecting
And I like what God’s done to my soul
The mirror is His word I’m inspecting
And I’m so glad that I’m in His control

A poem by Charles Betts
July 10th 2005

Thank you Charles.  I always appreciate your insights and words of wisdom. I couldn’t agree more. I don’t usually post on Tuesday but this seemed so fitting. I would also like to share Thoughts For Today by my friend Susan Earl. She has used several wonderful quotes. 

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY ~ Alive ~ March 17, 2011 by Charles Betts

Dolores; Here is a poem I did a while ago. It is short but says so much as to my outlook on life. I feel that avoiding or overcoming depression, [ now mind you I have never suffered from it that I know of], has so much to do with our outlook, not only on life but also our outlook on the events that occur in our life. When we realize we are never alone, either in our circumstances, meaning we are not unique to them nor are we abandoned in them. If we feel alone or abandoned, then that is just it, we feel that way. God never leaves us and chances are that we have more friends than we recognize. In each case if we reach out, either upward or outward, there is help.

I do recognize as you say here that in some families there appears to be a predisposition to depression. At least in my observations I have seen it so. I am not an expert in sense of the word on this subject, this merely says this has been my observation.


I am alive today
I have made a choice
I’ll be kind in what I say
I’ll put laughter in my voice

Yes I’ve lost some things
Yes I’ve known some pain
Yet my heart will sing
Yet I will laugh again

A poem by Charles Betts, Jan. 24th 2008

Once again Charles, I want to thank you for your wisdom, inspiration and talent as you share yet another lovely poem with us.

A MAN’S VOICE ~ Dealing With Anger ~ March 4, 2011 by Charles Betts


Have you ever heard the expression, “You took the words right out of my mouth”?  Charles left a comment yesterday after my post titled “Dealing With Anger”. Charles went one step further than the above statement of taking the words right out of my mouth when it comes to the issue of anger.  He not only expresses my sentiments, he explains anger from such a personal frame of reference that it hits home even better. I have reprinted his comment here in its entirety so that all of my readers will have the opportunity to share in Charles’ wisdom. Thank you Charles for sharing your spirituality and wisdom so openly and honestly.

Dolores; I was intrigued by your post on anger and the comments that ensued. I would like to make a comment as well.

   I grew up in a house that knew much anger. Some expressed, some suppressed, but seldom was it ever controlled. Not a lot of violence involved but a lot of verbal abuse. I remember as a child being very angry myself. In my early teens I began to be aware that this anger was damaging. By the time I was 15 I realized that the anger could end up destroying not only myself but others around me. I began praying for God’s help and at this time with my study of scriptures making me aware of God’s opinion of anger, I decided that I did not want to be an angry man, as my father was. Somehow I came to the conclusion that if I let people or things anger me, then these people or things would control me. I made a conscious decision that I would with God’s help beat the anger. It took a few years, but by the time I was married and had children, the anger was not an issue for me.

  The single biggest influence on my decision to stay anger free has been the scripture in Prov. that says ” Be not hasty in your spirit to be angry for anger rests in the bosom of fools” and its companion verse that says ” Join not yourself to an angry man lest you learn his ways and so get a snare for your soul”. These two had such an impact on me. The first reminded me of a scripture that goes “The fool has said in his heart that there is no God” My thought at the time was that perhaps the reason people use anger so freely and abuse others by it is because they fail to realize that we are responsible for our words and since there is no God we will never be taken to task for our anger. The second reference above caused me to think that a snare chokes the life out of whatever is caught therein and if I wanted my soul to be alive then I must take charge of my anger and not let it get the best of me.

  I have in my life time seen so many people be less than they could be because they failed to see the value of their own soul and others, and both were, if not destroyed, at least negatively affected by their anger. Choosing to be kind and using kind words even in difficult situations is much more rewarding and lets both parties involved live. It may take a lifetime to realize the rewards but well worth the effort. At least when we lay down at night we don’t have to beat ourselves up because we did or said something in anger today.

  As well. I have yet to be able to recall even one situation where anger has made the problem better. I have on the other hand seen it cause a lot of destruction, both to property and people.

  These are some of my reflections on the subject. I hope it helps some. I know what God has done in my life has been a blessing to my family. I like to think that for my family at least the cycle was broken.

 Thanks for letting me post this, Charles Betts”

You are most welcome Charles.  I actually would like to thank you for your inspirational story!

%d bloggers like this: