A Woman's Voice

The Human and Humane Self-Help Author ~ Dolores Ayotte



“The battle of life is, in most cases, fought uphill; and to win without a struggle were perhaps to win it without honour.  If there were no difficulties there would be no success; if there were nothing to struggle for, there would be nothing to be achieved.”  (Samuel Smiles)


My books are written in a gentle, conversational style, meant to reach my readers in a kind and non-judgmental way.

Both books, are self-help books about the steps I used to help me overcome two serious bouts with depression that I experienced in my earlier years. They are written in recipe format giving thirteen simple steps in each book that are easy to incorporate into daily living. In order to get out of the pit I found myself to be in, I had to do much soul-searching and reflection to get to the source of my depression.

My books are what I consider to be heart books.  They are written from my heart to any and all hearts that are open to my message. They are also written with the intention of reaching out to help people by sharing some of my personal experiences. Others may be able to identify with some of my stories and anecdotes.

Hopefully, my suggestions will enhance the lives of my readers in much the same way they have enhanced mine.

Through my faith,  eventual self-acceptance, and with the support of my husband, I was not only able to rise above my despair, I learned how to lead a full and rewarding life with my husband, children and now several grandchildren

My recipe for life consists of a little bit of this and a little bit of that borne from my life experiences. Usually, when I use all of the ingredients and steps…I end up with a pretty good product. Sometimes…I can still fail. It is this failure to succeed all of the time that helps remind of my humanity and the fact that I am not perfect and it’s okay.

To order “I’m Not Perfect And It’s Okay”, please click on one of the following:

Amazon USA


Barnes and Noble

To order “Growing Up & Liking It”, please click on one of the following:

Amazon USA:


Barnes & Noble:

MEMORY LANE ~ The Persistence Of The Spirit ~ October 17, 2011 by Andrea Cockerill

A Wo-Man’s Voice   

If you have ever been around children, you know how persistent they can be when they want your attention. All of my children let me know in their own way if they feel like they are not getting their fair share. Today it was my oldest daughter who told me loud and clear that her well for my attention was running low.

After filling my daughter’s well, I started thinking about how persistent our spirit can be when we are ignoring its guidance and passions. I have on many occasions put my spirit last on the list, but I am comforted with the fact that my spirit is going nowhere. No matter how long I ignore it, it is like a patient and trusted friend, waiting for my next phone call.

Our relationship with our spirit is like any other relationship that we honor in our lives. It needs our time in order for an intimate bond to be built. It is the difference between talking to one friend every few months and talking to another friend every few days. You may cherish both friends but it is the friend whom you talk to more often that is going to know the more intimate details of your daily life. This same principle applies to our spirit. If we form an intimate relationship with our spirit, we will be better able to understand and intuitively follow its subtle guidance system.

Your spirit promises you that it will never reject you. It is persistent but patient, and its sole goal is to lead you to the Divine. Forming a relationship with your spirit needs to be a conscious decision on a daily basis, but the rewards span a life time.

Namaste (I see the Divine in you which is also in me.)

Thank you Andrea! 



Continuous effort is the key to unlocking our potential”  (Black Elk, Native American)


INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND ANECDOTES ~ “Off My Rocker” ~ September 12, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

Do you have a favourite chair in your home?  Do you usually have the tendency to sit in the same kind of chair wherever you go?  I do!

Whenever I visit in other people’s homes, one of the first things I do after the initial niceties are out-of-the-way is look for the spot where I am going to sit. I scan the room with hopeful anticipation that I will find a rocking chair or glider.  To me, this kind of chair is both comfortable and comforting. In new and awkward situations, when I have the opportunity to sit on one, it takes the edge off the moment as the rocking motion brings its soothing relief to me.

It is very hard for me to start my day without a short stint on my rocking chair.  It sets the pace for the whole day, as I find my source of peace and contentment in this simplest of ways. It is during this time on my rocking chair that I listen to the softest of music and feel so inspired.  This is my time, this is my special spot.

When on holidays or visiting with family and friends when I’m “off my rocker” because they don’t have one, I always feel a tiny absence in my life.  I can’t be the only one that feels this way.  What about you?  Do you miss the comfort of your special chair? Please don’t tell me that you don’t have one even if it isn’t a rocker/glider.  I will be very surprised if you don’t!



“You have not found your place until all your faculties are roused, and your whole nature consents and approves of the work you are doing…”  (Orison Swett Marden)

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND ANECDOTES ~ “LAFF” (until your stomach aches) ~ August 27, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

Posted in INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND ANECDOTES by doloresayotte on August 27, 2011
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Do you enjoy doing any kind of puzzles like crosswords, four square, cryptograms and so on?  I love puzzles and word games.  You name it…Wordscraper, Scrabble, I love them all!

I am fascinated by the English language and how rule oriented it is on one hand and totally not on the other.  We all know how phonics works and how you can sound out words.  Sometimes it is as easy as pie and other times it doesn’t make one ounce of sense because there are so many exceptions to the rules.

One such word that catches my attention is the word LAUGH.  Why isn’t it just spelled like it sounds LAFF?   Do you want to know why I much prefer this version?

At the times, when I struggle in my relationships with other people, I spell it this way.  It’s kind of like an anagram for me.

L – Love

A – Accept

F – Forgive

F – Forget

When someone has either purposely or unintentionally offended me, if I learn to LAFF, then I can genuinely LAUGH and better enjoy my life.  A well-developed sense of humor can really enhance life.  You may have to work at it, but it is well worth the effort!


I’M NOT PERFECT AND IT’S OKAY ~ Thirteen Steps to a Happier Self ~ July 20, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

CHAPTER ONE ~ The Greatest Of These Is LOVE

So many books have been written about God and on the meaning of life. They have been written by theologians, philosophers, psychologists, and many other well-educated and deep thinking individuals. I am none of the above, but in some small way, I am all of the above because I have been exposed to many of the teachings through education or experience.

Some books have been read and reread many times over. Some of them have been used in the school system to educate and broaden the minds of students across the world. One of the greatest books ever written is the Bible, which has many authors. Over the years, I have asked myself how these men knew what to write. I have also asked myself when referring to the Bible, why men, at that time, were the only ones with such great inspiration and courage to share their work with all of mankind.  I feel that God inspires each and every one of us if we have the desire to listen to the still, small voice that lives within. It is this voice that gets our creative juices flowing and is the inspiration for all the good ideas that come to us in our daily lives.

Over time, I have decided to simplify my life and to look at as many things as possible from this very same point of view. I find that life can become so complex that we can forget the things in life that were meant to bring us the most pleasure. If one goes back to the first teachings of Jesus, the message he was teaching is and always has been very basic and very clear. It is as simple as the kindergarten rule of doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. The theme that most captures my interest in the Bible is about loving God and loving thy neighbor. To me, this is the truth and the only meaningful truth that needs to be adopted in order to answer God’s call. Life is a lot simpler than what most of us have made it out to be. It is with this simplistic theme in mind that I will explain some of my views.

To be continued…

“We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another.” ~ Lucretius

“Growing Up And Liking It” ~ Book Review ~ February 28, 2011 by Hope

Book Review by Hope

Growing Up & Liking  It: Thirteen Steps to a Happier Self

Author: Dolores Ayotte.

(Tate Publishing, © 2010, 192 pages)

At a time when most of our lives are complicated by schedule, commitment, stress and expectation, motivational author Dolores Ayotte greets us with a delightful, easy to read book that suggests an alternative approach to experiencing our lives. A follow-up book to I’m Not Perfect and It’s Okay, Growing Up and Liking It is a compilation of 13 life lessons, born of the wisdom of a life well lived and told through relatable stories, anecdotes, personal experiences and inspirational quotes. In her book, Ms. Ayotte encourages her readers to slow down, to listen, to question and become enthusiastic about the lives they lead.

As a reader, we are given a sneak peek into the Ms. Ayotte’s relationship with her friends, her husband, her children and her grandchildren. Her stories, simply told, convey not just the wisdom of her experiences but the way she reflects on her experiences to better her perspective and enhance her own life.  Her stories convey a strong dependence on a faith well-honed, a spiritual soul at the center of her thought and natural teetering between the roles of teacher and student that lends a sense of humility in the conveyance of her message.

What I found quite interesting in the read of this book, is the number of inspirational quotes incorporated into the teaching of the 13 steps to a happier self. For me, this is testimony to the breadth of seeking and reflection that has gone into the living the life that inspired these lessons. Inspiration from the likes of Mother Theresa, the Bible and Vince Lombardi are woven into practical pearls of wisdom that are easy to apply to anyone’s life.

The underlying message I found in all 13 steps, is that in our own lives, we are the ones with the power to change what is not working. The author encourages us to know and address our own needs; physical, emotional and spiritual. She encourages us to choose wisely what we strive to be, and pay dear attention to the journey taken to achieve our goal. She encourages us to finish what we start, say what we mean and mean what we say. Though none of this is news to any of us, the reminder to pay attention to these simple things is so welcome in our event-driven, constant connect, always on, always available lifestyle that has come to be our way.

In reading this book, I felt like I was talking to an old friend. The language is simple yet poignant, the stories relatable and familiar, the rhythm of the read easy and the message clear and consistent. As I read her stories, I was reminded of similar ones in my own life and my own family making her message all the more accessible and her suggestions all the more applicable.

Each of the thirteen chapters ends with a summary and a reflection. In this, Ms. Ayotte gives the reader practical, doable suggestions to help us begin to examine our own lives and find the places where we can begin to find and welcome our true self.

The book ends with an Epilogue that reveals the delicate and painful experiences that paved the way for these lessons to be compiled. The startling honesty of Ms. Ayotte’s story inspires all us to question, to know ourselves, to trust ourselves and our instincts and to find and hear our own voice.

I’m Not Perfect and It’s OK and Growing Up & Liking It are must reads for anyone looking to better their station in life, is seeking to find and define their own life’s legacy or find their way through a personal crisis. The read is simple, the message profound and the author’s story an inspiration to be the best that is within us.

By: Hope Rising

Thanks so much Hope for the wonderful book review. It is greatly appreciated!

STANDING MOTIONLESS — November 27, 2010 by Phoenix Rose

Posted in A WOMAN'S VOICE by doloresayotte on November 27, 2010
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A Wo-Man’s Voice

Does moving forward sometimes mean standing still?

This is how I feel at the moment – like I am standing still.  It doesn’t feel like this is something negative, but rather like a long-needed breathing space before tidying up the loose ends of the past and setting a new direction for the future.  This week I have allowed myself to just ‘be’.  I have not made any major decisions, I have not set any goals, and I have deliberately not allowed myself to focus on anything in particular.  Instead I have tried to listen to my body, and observe my thoughts and actions without trying to control the outcome or try to meet any expectations.  I cannot remember ever doing this before.

Standing still doesn’t mean I haven’t learnt anything this week – I have.

There has been a recurring theme at my work this week – we all have a choice about how we deal with life.

Everyone in my unit faces the same frustrations, the same difficult working environment, and the same set of circumstances that, at times, leaves us feeling overwhelmed and stressed.  For some of us, these feelings grow exponentially when we are forced to also cope with changes to systems and processes on top of our normal duties.  For some, these changes are so overwhelming they make their feelings of discontent and dissatisfaction known to all and sundry, loud and clear – although, all of us have been guilty of complaining to some degree this week.

When a colleague came to me and started to tell me about their frustration and began to echo many of the same sentiments I have had over the years, it dawned on me that despite all our whingeing and complaining, we still turn up there, day after day, and subject ourselves to all this stress.  We know what the organisation is like.  We know what management is like.  We know the conditions under which we have to carry out our tasks.  Yet all we do is complain.

This made me question my own motivation for working where I do.  It turns out that, for me, the benefits I get from working there far outweigh the amount of stress I have to deal with.  If that is the case, then what am I complaining about?  I know from experience that no matter what I do things will never change at work, so why not just accept that I make the choice to keep working there and get on with my job?

Once I started to understand that I choose to work where I do, I started to think about all of the things in my life I have complained about over the years.  Guess what I found?  Despite all my complaining, all of the times I have said I wanted to live differently, and all of the times I have wanted to be different, I have not done anything that will seriously alter the path I have been on.

As if the universe wanted to validate that point to me, I discovered a couple of my old diaries that covered the years 2004 to 2007.  The things that were written in there could have been written anytime up until the end of May 2010 – seriously!  The emotions I wrote about, the relationships, the events, the thoughts about myself – everything – nothing had changed in all that time.  Six years!

In contrast, I was also able to see how much has changed and how far I have progressed in the last few months.  I’m not complaining anymore, now I am taking action.  Now I am getting the support that I need to move forward.  Now I am moving out of my comfort zone, facing my fears, bringing out the truth and putting one foot in front of the other to make real and lasting change to me and my life.  The world hasn’t ended by being more open.  The sky hasn’t fallen.  I am still breathing.

Now that I can see and understand more clearly that life is a choice, I can enjoy this time of being still and look forward to the challenges that are ahead.

Thanks so much Phoenix for your post. It is refreshing to see your personal growth as you have so openly shared such an intimate part of yourself with all of us today.  To learn more about Phoenix please visit: http://socratesandserendipity.wordpress.com 


MEMORY LANE ~ REMEMBERING WHEN… ~ September 5, 2011by Linda Briscoe

Posted in MEMORY LANE by doloresayotte on September 5, 2010
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My Sister’s Voice 

When I was a child we walked to school on the very first day! Brand new outfit and school bag, packed with crayons and all new supplies.

I walked and walked for what seemed like forever, happy to finally be at school, only to realize that there would be the same walk home at lunch, then back to school and home again!

The days would be glorious in the fall, still warm enough for just a sweater.  The leaves would start to fall to the ground and the winds would pick up.

Before I knew it, the cold would be in the not too distant future. It was time to bundle up to make the walk to school as bearable as possible.  Now, in the bitterness of winter, lunch bag packed, off to school I went.  Bundled tightly, with my scarf around my forehead and neck, I braved the long walk to school.

Oh…it could get bitterly cold, so cold as the wind blew through my not so warm coat and the well worn boots which had known other winters.  Is this cold winter ever going to pass?

Then it changed.  The days started getting longer, the sun started getting stronger, and I was very excited as I could spot the first patch of pavement.  The ditches were so inviting filled with melting ice and water.  Trusting to step on the now thin ice and not sink…only to find a boot full of water was merely a fine line away…just one more step and a little more pressure before the ice cracked and I could feel the SPLOOSH as the cold water seeped into my boots.  A young child and a ditch full of water are like two magnets being drawn to each other. 

On that walk home from school, the snow was only going to bring the worst of spring, with its dirty snow banks and slippery sidewalks after a cold night.  Getting splashed by a passing car was the norm as I surged forward on my long walk home.

Try as I might to keep my spring coat clean and the runners that I changed into after school as I rid myself of my heavy rubber boots was an impossible feat.

Then finally, the lovely spring weather came and stayed like the pavement rid of ice and snow for the season.  Now, with a skipping rope in hand, it was like heaven. All the things I loved most, fresh air, rope to jump, light clothing, and the walk to school was almost effortless.  Almost a year had passed since the first day of school and it made me so aware of the changing seasons. What was it like for you?

Thank you Linda!



“Plodding wins the race.”  (Aesop)


SANDWICHES — July 1, 2010 by Dolores Ayotte

Posted in A WOMAN'S VOICE,INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND ANECDOTES by doloresayotte on July 1, 2010
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A Wo-Man’s Voice 

I try to view life in the simplest of ways and to use my imagination as much as possible to explain my thoughts. 

Our lives can be as plain and simple as two slices of bread stuck together with butter or as exciting as the ingredients that we put into it.  I much prefer what is between the slices of bread rather than the bread itself, although, I love good quality bread.  I need both. 

I want my sandwich so thick with meat and other fixings that I can hardly wrap my mouth around it.  This is the same way that I want to enjoy my life.  I don’t just want to be born and then eventually die. That’s a given. In other words, I don’t merely want to exist.  I want a lot of in between stuff to make a really good life for myself and for those around me. 

I can settle for bread squeezed together with butter or margarine or I can have a huge “Dagwood” sandwich with all of my favorite things in the middle.   It’s up to me.  I can settle for less or build my life in the same way that I make my sandwiches, thick with messy and juicy flavors like pickles and peppers. I want to lead a full and rewarding life that is pleasing to my Maker. Mmmmm….life tastes so much better this way! What kind of sandwich do you like?



“We find greatest joy, not in getting, but in expressing what we are…Men do not really live for honors or for pay; their gladness is not in the taking and holding, but in the doing, the striving, the building, the living.  It is a higher joy to teach than to be taught.  It is good to get justice, but better to do it;  fun to have things but more to make them.  The happy man is he who lives the life of love, not for the honors it may bring,  but for life itself. “ (R. J. Baughan)


MY PROFILE — May 24, 2010 by Abby (My Granddaughter’s Voice)

Posted in A WOMAN'S VOICE by doloresayotte on May 24, 2010
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My Voice (Dolores)

Two years ago when Abby, my oldest grandchild was twelve, she had a school assignment.  She was required to interview a person of her choice and create a Profile on this particular person.  I am very honored to say that Abby chose me.  One of my greatest goals in life is to live up to Abby’s impression/image of me.  Now, two years later, I am pleased to announce that there are seven grandchildren in my life with the addition of Joanna’s daughter, seven month old Sophie. Thank you so much Abby for allowing me to post your assignment on “A WOMAN’S VOICE”.  I am very proud of you!


I created a profile on Dolores Ayotte, my grandmother. She is fifty-nine years old, and has three children Cheryl thirty-six, Joanna thirty-four and her twin Andrea, thirty-four as well. Dolores also has six grandchildren Abigail twelve, Rebecca nine, Isaiah eight, Jenae five, Aven two and Neve eight months old. Dolores’s birthday is on June 11 (1949). The places she and her husband have lived are Winnipeg, Pine Falls, Portage la Prairie, Saskatoon, and Phoenix. Dolores and her husband Fred (my grandfather) currently live in Winnipeg during the summer and go to their second home in Phoenix, Arizona during the winter.

There are many reasons why my grandma is interesting to me and here are some of the reasons. She always puts others before herself. She is a great role model to her children and grandchildren. She loves you for who you are. She doesn’t take things for granted and is always thankful. She lives in the moment and enjoys life to its fullest. She wrote an excellent book that includes a great message. Her book is dedicated to helping other people feel good about themselves. She is always fair no matter what the circumstances are. She can make the best of any situation. She does not take things too harshly. She just simply makes it work out. She never has something bad to say about you, but always kind things. Most of all she is always there for you no matter what happens.

A story with her admirable qualities in it would have to be about the book she wrote, that will help many people one day. Twenty-five years ago Dolores was stressed and needed a break from work so she took some time off. During that time she decided that she wanted to start writing a book and she did. Over the next twenty-five years she kept cut–outs, made and typed notes and information that she wanted to include in the book. She was very busy and did not get much free time, but she finally finished putting everything into the book. She finished it this year. The title of the book is “I’m Not Perfect and It’s Okay”. Dolores found ways to overcome her mistakes and she found out that she does not need to be perfect to be loved by her family and friends.

During my conversation with Dolores, I ask many questions. Here are a couple of the questions I asked Dolores and her answers. What’s the main theme of your book? The book is a self-help book to help/teach other people that they can be themselves and be proud of it. Her book is a baker’s dozen (which is thirteen) so in Dolores’s book there are thirteen steps to a happier life. What is the main message of your book? The main message of the book is to be satisfied with who you are no matter what the circumstances. Also that life’s a celebration you should enjoy and always live it to the fullest.             

                                                                                    By: Abby Lidster

Thank you Abby! 

Be sure to check out DOLORES’ VOICE on the sidebar. I post on a regular basis.  Thanks!  🙂

Abby is a grade eight student.  She lives with her parents Cheryl and Craig and her younger sister Becca in Swift Current, Sask.



“Failure is success if we learn from it.”  (Malcolm S. Forbes)


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