A Woman's Voice

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY ~ Child’s Play…Or Is It? (Part II) ~ July 14, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

Last Thursday I wrote the first part to this article. For those of you who missed it, you can check it out here, Child’s Play…Or Is It? I received a few responses to this post and I thought I would share some of them with you and further elaborate on the original post.

Desiray wrote ~ “I know that story all to well myself. I had friends that did the same thing and it does hurt your feelings because they act as though you are as not important as the other person. But I wasn’t as nice as you sis, I wouldn’t go back. And I stayed mad at that person for a couple of days, and when they would come back and say that they were sorry then I would accept it and we would play again. But I told them if they did it again to me they couldn’t be my friends. I told them ‘I don’t hurt your feelings so don’t hurt mine’. Great post and lesson.”

Barb wrote ~ “Yes, how I remember lessons from childhood and used to spend a great deal of time writing about them. It is so true that many adults do this. I wonder if they even realize it. I’ve felt the sting of being so easily replaced by adults in life and dropped like a hot potato. Very thought-provoking what our childhood experiences can serve upon reflection. Excellent point and story.”

Belinda wrote ~ “Wow, I wonder if Yvette’s mom had any idea that the lesson learned that day would be written about decades later. We should never merely use people then toss them aside.”

When I first wrote this article I almost decided to ‘not’ post it because I wasn’t sure if anyone  would be able to relate to it. After receiving these comments, I realized that many adults still behave in inconsiderate or unkind ways. There are a few words that struck me the most in the above comments. In Desiray’s, it is the feeling of not being “as important as the other person”. Isn’t it strange how some people have the ability to make others feel like they are less important in a relationship? It is as if what they have to offer is inferior to others. I find this very sad.

In Belinda’s response she mentions we shouldn’t use people. This never feels right but to toss people aside after they have served their purpose is not only unkind, it is cruel.  The word that struck me the most in Barb’s comment is the word sting. We all know that when a bee stings, it hurts. All three of these women have honestly admitted that when people treat us as less important, or use us and then toss us aside, or drop us like hot potatoes, it hurts.

Perhaps Barb is right and they don’t even realize what they are doing. I honestly don’t know but I can say this, I agree that this inappropriate behavior can and still does take place by adults. I would also like to add this. If it wasn’t appropriate behavior as a young child like Yvette’s mom so aptly pointed out in last week’s post, it is no more appropriate today. As I previously stated, morals and values never go out of style. What do you think?


THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY ~ Child’s Play…Or Is It? ~ July 7, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

I want to tell you a cute little story with a very big lesson in it. When I was a very young girl about 6 years old or so, I used to play a lot with the neighborhood kids. In those days, you could go freely from one house to the next without a lot of concern by your parents. One little girl named Yvette asked me to come over and play dolls at her house. She was younger than me but I was happy to play with her. Right at the onset, she told me that she had already called on two other little girls (sisters) but they were having their afternoon nap. They actually did that in those days too right up until you started school. Yvette and I played for a least an hour in her back porch with her mother periodically checking up on us. We both had a wonderful time. Shortly thereafter, there was a knock on the door and there appeared the two sisters that Yvette originally wanted to play with. In they came and with that out I went.  Yvette promptly told me that I had to go home because now they could play with her. I never gave it a moment’s thought and I just got up and quietly left.

Within what felt like only a few minutes, Yvette came running down the sidewalk and asked me to come back and play. She explained to me that her mother came out to check on us and she discovered that I wasn’t there anymore. From what I could gather, her mother asked where I was and Yvette told her she had sent me home. Her mother went on to say that it wasn’t a kind thing to do. She then encouraged Yvette to go get me and invite me back to play dolls with her and the other two little girls. I quickly accepted this offer and then Yvette’s mother treated us all to Popsicles.

I will never forget this incident as long as I live. Yvette is not the only one that learned a lesson that day because I know something very much resonated with me. I don’t know how many times I see adults treat their friends this exact same way except they are not playing dolls. When someone else comes along, they drop the friends they have and move on. Everytime I see such behavior I think of Yvette’s mom and I wish she had been there for these people when they were children so that they would know how to treat people in their adult life.

I’ve been told that we learn all we need to know by the time we are in kindergarten as far as how we are supposed to treat others. It doesn’t hurt to remind ourselves of these little lessons so that we can treat our friends with the love and respect that they deserve. Kudos to Yvette’s mom.  Mothers have a very important job and it’s a good thing to acknowledge this fact because they are the very first teachers! Do you remember any special childhood lessons? Do you still try to keep them in mind in your adult life? Treating people with love and respect never changes no matter what our age. Do unto others…yup, it’s still applies today. Morals and values never go out of style.

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