A Woman's Voice


INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND ANECDOTES ~ Games People Play Part IV ~ June 17, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

Final post in this series…continued from yesterday.

Once again, it is may be beneficial to use your imagination to overcome some of the adversity in your life. When you feel down or hard done by, picture yourself as that “mat” on the floor. You probably feel angry with those around you for not treating you properly, but instead of telling them how you really feel you draw into yourself and your own shell. Does this sound familiar or ring true to you? If so, this is when your anger may turn inward and mask itself as depression.  These angry feelings can also create another problem for you.

You may turn around and end up creating a negative cycle by treating other people the way you feel you have been treated. This is a no win situation. It will not make you feel good or any better about your situation. In fact, it will eventually add to your negative self-image. Once again, it is necessary to have an honest look at yourself and make a very big decision. Please try to remember that “troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things”. (Henry Ward Beecher) 

It is necessary to have a little “self-talk” to admit what you are really dealing with and what, if anything, you are prepared to do about it. Remember that the only person that you have any real power over is yourself.  No one else can fix this for you.  It is essential to truly embrace the fact that you must decide to help yourself. This may be a frightening concept because it makes us feel so responsible.

However, to “am’t” to something worthwhile in life, it usually involves accepting responsibility, accountability, and some change.  It also means it is necessary to rise above the blaming stage.  In other words, we have to get up off the floor and do something positive with our lives.  This requires work.  Work requires effort.  When we are down and out, it appears that the easiest way out to do nothing. We are, by human nature, an habitual lot but if we are unhappy with our lot in life…we may have to make a few changes.

Habits, whether good or bad, are ingrained in us.  They are very hard to change. Even the smallest change requires effort but in order to grow, it is the only way to go.  “Growth requires change and change involves risks, stepping from the known to the unknown.”(George Shinn) 

Effort = results.  No effort = no results.  Little effort = little results.  Big effort=big results.

You get the picture. You also get to choose just how much effort you want to make to rise above this depressed state or any negative situation in your life. In the end you will achieve the corresponding results.  I realize that this is a tough concept to embrace because it puts the onus on us but let’s face it, it is our life.  It’s really is up to us to decide if we would like to change the situation because no one else can do it for us.  “Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed possible.  This power becomes available to you just as soon as you change your beliefs.” (Maxwell Maltz)

The belief that you must work at it in order to alter your situation is very important. If you believe this fact, it means you actually can do something about it. So there you have it. Do you want to live like a “mat”, a “tam” or do you want to “am’t” to something? The only way to do this is to look at your life and decide. Yes…decide. It’s that simple because “the only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try and the faith to believe that it is possible” (Richard M. DeVos)

If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that it is indeed possible. I wouldn’t be sharing this with you today if it wasn’t. In fact, I wouldn’t even have anything to share. Yes…the faith to believe…says it all. Faith in God and a renewed faith in yourself!

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Miracle Monday –January 3, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

Posted in MIRACLE MONDAY by doloresayotte on January 3, 2011
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FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE

It’s a new dawn…it’s a new day… it’s a New Year! 

January 3rd is the first Monday of 2011 when I am about to launch a new theme on “A Wo-Man’s Voice”.  One of the very first blogs I wrote was titled Blue Monday in March 2010.  Today after all these months, I would like to introduce Miracle Monday as one of my regular themes.  I have been inspired by two of my dear friends, Nikki Rosen and Desiray Lewis to add this special touch to my blog. Nikki posts Thankful Thursday and Spiritual Sunday which she features weekly on her blog. Desiray has a regular theme every day of the week.

The topics on Miracle Monday will be varied but they will mostly dwell on what I have to be grateful for and what I consider to be “the positives” at this stage of my life. I have every desire to begin the New Year on a positive note and this is my first post in 2011 to go along with this theme.  I realize many people start off with a list of resolutions and what they would like to change about themselves.  I thought I would be different by stating that I like my life in most instances and there are so many things that I hope and pray don’t change.

I have been married to my high school sweetheart for over 41 years. Every night when I pray before I fall asleep, I thank God for this wondrous gift. If you’ve read any of my posts in the category FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE (please check out the sidebar), you can see that my husband isn’t perfect. Hey…but then, neither am I.  However, the very first thing I am grateful for in 2011, is our long time marriage and the love and loyalty we share despite the ups and downs of any life long commitment. We have experienced financial hardship, job loss, ill physical and emotional health, and other typical marriage woes.  Over the years, we have learned the true meaning of our marriage vows. I have discovered that I married my best friend who has stuck by my side through “thick and thin”.  Figuratively speaking, because my husband is not the most demonstrative type of guy, we’ve held each other’s hand as we worked through these trials and tribulations. No one ever said that it was going to be easy but it’s been well worth it.

Many years ago when we were in our late teens, my husband’s brother tried to influence us not to get married so young.  He was eight years older and he was offering his younger brother what he thought was some sage advice.  Needless to say, we never took it but I recall a humorous moment in the first few years of our marriage when my husband showed a little “sass”.  He mentioned to his brother that if he had known marriage was going to be this great, he would have gotten married sooner!  So yes…I do have every reason to be grateful, don’t you think?  And what about you?  Are there things in your life that you are grateful for or don’t want to change? I would love to hear from you. If you leave a comment, you can count on a reply from me. All you need to do is check back after your comment for my reply.

In my life and hopefully yours too, there’s no time for Blue Monday.  Instead, here’s wishing you Blue Skies every Monday and all week-long…

Blue Skies is an expression my friend Steven uses when closing off in his communication with me. It makes my day!

STANDING MOTIONLESS — November 27, 2010 by Phoenix Rose

Posted in A WOMAN'S VOICE by doloresayotte on November 27, 2010
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A Wo-Man’s Voice

Does moving forward sometimes mean standing still?

This is how I feel at the moment – like I am standing still.  It doesn’t feel like this is something negative, but rather like a long-needed breathing space before tidying up the loose ends of the past and setting a new direction for the future.  This week I have allowed myself to just ‘be’.  I have not made any major decisions, I have not set any goals, and I have deliberately not allowed myself to focus on anything in particular.  Instead I have tried to listen to my body, and observe my thoughts and actions without trying to control the outcome or try to meet any expectations.  I cannot remember ever doing this before.

Standing still doesn’t mean I haven’t learnt anything this week – I have.

There has been a recurring theme at my work this week – we all have a choice about how we deal with life.

Everyone in my unit faces the same frustrations, the same difficult working environment, and the same set of circumstances that, at times, leaves us feeling overwhelmed and stressed.  For some of us, these feelings grow exponentially when we are forced to also cope with changes to systems and processes on top of our normal duties.  For some, these changes are so overwhelming they make their feelings of discontent and dissatisfaction known to all and sundry, loud and clear – although, all of us have been guilty of complaining to some degree this week.

When a colleague came to me and started to tell me about their frustration and began to echo many of the same sentiments I have had over the years, it dawned on me that despite all our whingeing and complaining, we still turn up there, day after day, and subject ourselves to all this stress.  We know what the organisation is like.  We know what management is like.  We know the conditions under which we have to carry out our tasks.  Yet all we do is complain.

This made me question my own motivation for working where I do.  It turns out that, for me, the benefits I get from working there far outweigh the amount of stress I have to deal with.  If that is the case, then what am I complaining about?  I know from experience that no matter what I do things will never change at work, so why not just accept that I make the choice to keep working there and get on with my job?

Once I started to understand that I choose to work where I do, I started to think about all of the things in my life I have complained about over the years.  Guess what I found?  Despite all my complaining, all of the times I have said I wanted to live differently, and all of the times I have wanted to be different, I have not done anything that will seriously alter the path I have been on.

As if the universe wanted to validate that point to me, I discovered a couple of my old diaries that covered the years 2004 to 2007.  The things that were written in there could have been written anytime up until the end of May 2010 – seriously!  The emotions I wrote about, the relationships, the events, the thoughts about myself – everything – nothing had changed in all that time.  Six years!

In contrast, I was also able to see how much has changed and how far I have progressed in the last few months.  I’m not complaining anymore, now I am taking action.  Now I am getting the support that I need to move forward.  Now I am moving out of my comfort zone, facing my fears, bringing out the truth and putting one foot in front of the other to make real and lasting change to me and my life.  The world hasn’t ended by being more open.  The sky hasn’t fallen.  I am still breathing.

Now that I can see and understand more clearly that life is a choice, I can enjoy this time of being still and look forward to the challenges that are ahead.

Thanks so much Phoenix for your post. It is refreshing to see your personal growth as you have so openly shared such an intimate part of yourself with all of us today.  To learn more about Phoenix please visit: http://socratesandserendipity.wordpress.com 

 


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