A Woman's Voice

MEMORY LANE ~ Spit It Out ~ November 16, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte



I’ve already told you in a previous post that my husband is a pretty silent man. 

Just the other day, I had the sneaking suspicion that I said something to offend him. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure because we were just heading off to bed after a late night with friends, but come morning there was no doubt about it. 

By now you are probably asking yourself “how does a silent man tell you that you have offended him?”  Body language, that’s how! 

When “Silent Sam” woke up at his usual time, I had been up and at it for about three hours. He got his usual cup of coffee and sat in his rocking chair across from me.  That’s not out of the ordinary.  He gets up, gets his coffee, sits in silence and waits for me to say something to start our day.  

Something was subtlety different this morning and a less experienced eye would have missed it.  He did all the above mentioned things but in addition to these, he crossed his arms and then I knew for sure that I had offended him. 


I knew he had “a burr in his saddle” and I suggested he “spit it out” so that we could get on with our day. That’s exactly what he did after a little prodding from me. We, then, discussed what was bothering him and he got it off his chest. It’s best to not let things fester. It’s far better to “spit it out” and then get on with life. Life’s much too short to harbor resentment. It’s much better to clear the air and move on, don’t you think?

Hey Fred….can you hear me now?

It’s hard to believe we met when I was “Sweet 16” and now I’m “Silly 61”. You always knew I had a sense of humor but little did you know that I would be so “loud “about it.



“A true friend is one who is concerned about what we are becoming, who sees beyond the present relationship, and who cares deeply about us as a whole person.   (Gloria Gaither)


PLEASE NOTE:  Subscriptions to my blog are FREE. __________________________________________________________________________________


22 Responses to 'MEMORY LANE ~ Spit It Out ~ November 16, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte'

Subscribe to comments with RSS or TrackBack to 'MEMORY LANE ~ Spit It Out ~ November 16, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte'.

  1. LOL!! Well, I loved it Dolores, but you didn’t tell us what you did! 🙂
    I’m visualizing this and also was wondering if Fred forgave you or
    continued with the silent treatment all day! 🙂

    I loved your photos along with this story, and I’m glad you resolved
    your dispute. I think body language tells it all, and yet I’m usually
    the one that is sporting an attitude! Steve never seems offended, or
    decides it isn’t worth sharing.

    Happy Anniversary….and I hope you’re planning something special.
    Blessings for a great day!

    • Hey Diane….if I told it all, no one would ever come back to read more about our continuing saga. I have to be a little bit secretive to save face. LOL. I’m so glad you enjoyed this post and thanks for your anniversary wishes! Have a great day! 🙂

  2. Desiray said,

    Love the post Dolores as they say silence is golden… Our body language tells more then what most of think. Have a great day

    • Thanks Desiray…that is so true about body language. Your post is all set to go for Sunday. The picture you shared is incredible. I love it! 🙂

  3. Lorraine Gauthier said,

    Well said!! Open communication is the medicine for a very healthy relationship!! At times proding is necessary but well worth it. Congratulations on a really big day Aug 23rd!! All the Best to both of you!! Love, Lorraine P. S. I remember that day well and it was very hot!!!

    • Thanks Lorraine…yes I remember how hot it was on that day too (close to 100)! You are very right about communication being a healthy part of a relationship. Without it, it is a very shallow relationship indeed! 🙂

  4. Andrea Cockerill said,

    Dad is the funny one! Dad can definitely get is “voice” across without saying one word!

    • Yes Andrea…isn’t that the truth? These “silent types” don’t quite realize all that we’re hearing. LOL 🙂

  5. Shirley Sarafinchan said,

    WOW 41 years and Fred is beginning to show “attitude” that’s remarkable because he is usually so very silent! Ken and I are celebrating 21 years today and he has yet to show attitude except when playing cards LOL!! Happy Anniversary to both of you and congratulations on such a successful, happy, loving relationship after all these years and also congratulations on such a successful working relationship, you two make an excellent team! I’m hoping in the near future to find out what you did to cause this “attitude”!!! I’m still laughing!!

    • Dolores,
      What do you mean “beginning” to show attitude? I just do my best to make him shine.(LOL) Isn’t that what a good marriage is all about? Happy Anniversary to you too. And yes…I do notice Ken’s “attitude” when playing cards or should I say “gloating attitude”? These guys!! :).

  6. Kathy Eberly said,

    Thanks so much for this post, Dolores. There are days that my oh so sweet and silent husband is more silent than usual (i.e. if I offended him) and we are learning to try to get it taken care of before it festers. We’ve only been married 3 1/2 years but we are learning to “nip it in the bud” early if possible. Thanks again for your wonderful post!

    • Kathy…you are very welcome. When we are married to a “silent man” we have to rely on our ability to read body language. The longer you’re married the easier it gets. You’re a newlywed kiddo, but you’ve certainly got the right idea about “nipping it in the bud” when things don’t feel quite right! 🙂

  7. Mary Haskett said,

    A great post Dolores. God may have made us loudspeakers, but he also gave us that sixth sense, if you will, to pick up body language and just know when something’s bothering our nearest and dearest. Aren’t they fortunate>grin

    • Mary…you are so right about the gift of a “sixth sense”. What would are guys do if they didn’t have the benefit of it? Our nearest and dearest have it made with this little extra “bonus” that comes with the rest of the package. I think it’s a good thing too! LOL 🙂

  8. hope_rising said,

    Hey! Are those your horses? They are so pretty!!!

    Very sweet story.

    I agree with you about resentments, this week a friend passed away .. I had not talked to her in almost a year, not really because of a resentment, but some feelings got hurt and everyone went to thier corner and time just passed, always thinking we’d get together for lunch .. and now we can’t …

    Anytime I have lost someone it has always been with notice, we knew it was coming .. this is the first time, here then gone, young and unexpected ..

    so this is a perfect post for me to read … cause I keep thinking, man I should have just called …..

    big congrats on the anniversy! most excellent! I am happy for you guys!

  9. Hope..I am sorry to hear that your friend passed away so unexpectedly and that you never had the chance to talk again.

    In life, we can have many regrets, but you are right about “just calling” instead of waiting when we have hurt feelings. That’s very good advice.

    No, those aren’t our horses, but they are beautiful. Thanks for your anniversary wishes. Take care kiddo.

  10. Dolores I love this…I can see the two of you..image the scene. Funny how He calls opposties to come together…In Jewish we say Matzel tov (congrats). Wishing you both God’s continued favor as you journey forward together. .

    • Hi there Nikki,
      Thanks so much for your kind words and your congrats on our anniversary. It’s true about opposites attracting but after so many years together we have found our comfortable niche with each other. He’s a “gem” and takes all that I “dish out” with his great sense of humor. 🙂

  11. Love it, Dolores. You do know your hubby 🙂 and I love the cartoon as well. Loudspeaker, indeed lol. Blessings, Barb

    • Thanks Barb….yes I have to admit I know my hubby very well. We’ve been together since eleventh grade. I love that cartoon too. It kind of says it all in such a cute way! 🙂

  12. AudraKrell said,

    Hi Dolores, I love how attentive to your man and his feelings, you are! You two really know each other intimately and it is so insprirational that you care and want to make the day better. Now, for a further challenge, how about not letting the sun set on those annoyances? LOL

    • Hi Audra….how wonderful to hear from you. It’s hard to believe my husband and I have been married for over 40 years. Including our courtship time, we have been together for over 45 years. We were such kids when we first fell in love at 16 years old. After all these years, we pretty well know each other inside and out. Normally, I would have dealt with this issue before fallng asleep, but it was very late when our company left. Knowing each other the way that we do, I know it would have unnecessarily cost us both a night sleep. We were much fresher and more rested in the morning so we were able to deal with this little issue much better and with a clear head.You are so very right though in your advice of not letting the sun set on those little annoyances. Bright blessings to you my dear friend in Christ!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: