A Woman's Voice


I’M NOT PERFECT AND IT’S OKAY ~ Thirteen Steps to a Happier Self ~ Chapter One (continued) July 25, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

….continued from yesterday ~ conclusion

CHAPTER ONE ~ The Greatest Of These Is LOVE

I have come to the conclusion that it is from this well of understanding that we find empathy and compassion for  the world around us. Our own world is a microcosm of the whole world. If we cannot find peace in this small world where we live, there will never be world peace. How can we expect such a thing if we cannot make it work on such a small-scale?

So let’s get back to looking in the mirror. If you don’t like yourself, ask yourself why. If the reason is because  of the way that you were taught, acknowledge and embrace that fact. However, there can be many reasons for not liking ourselves. Possibly we lack education and feel inadequate. We can feel inferior for a number of reasons, including a poor self-image due to body weight, shape, or size. Sometimes we don’t feel smart enough, regardless of our education. Some of us may feel that we have been born on the wrong side of the tracks, while others may feel that their skin is the wrong color or they are lesser because of their sex. Others may not be proud of their heritage or their own personal backgrounds and family history.

If a person has nagging feelings of inferiority that affect his/her quality of life, that person is the only one that can answer the questions about what is causing their own personal situation. In most instances, the remedy or solution to the problem can be the same, because in the end, the goal is to overcome the feelings of inferiority or inadequacy by developing better life coping skills. After you have done this, though, there is plenty of work to be done. This is not about blame, but more about understanding ourselves.

Remember, the better we understand ourselves and accept ourselves for what we are, the more we will understand and accept others for who they are. One very important fact to remember is that in most instances, our parents, educators, and mentors actually taught us the very things that they were taught and in much the same way. Education is a process that evolves and slowly changes with time. The key to life and what love is all about lies in accepting this. Education comes in a variety of forms. Not all education is formal, but we are constantly on the learning curve by observing, learning, and being influenced by others.

Love really is very simple. In fact, it needs no words or language at all. It can be a special feeling, look, touch, or act of charity, humility, or generosity. God lives in each and every one of us. God is perfect love. If you strive for perfect love, you will learn to see the face of God in your spouse, your children, and your fellow human. This should be our goal as humankind. If and when we do this, a lot of our problems will be solved. However, charity really does begin at home, so once again start with the face in the mirror. I encourage everyone to go have a really good look at yourself. Look right into your own eyes and into the depth of your own soul. It’s not as easy as you think!

Learn to love yourself as you are…that’s the first step.

I sincerely hope that you have enjoyed reading the first chapter of I’M NOT PERFECT AND IT’S OKAY ~ Steps to a Happier Self

If you would like to read more, please click on one of the following links to order a copy….Thanks! If you are still undecided, over the next few days, I will post the title and first paragraph of a few more chapters.  Down the road, I will also post some excerpts from my second book, “Growing Up & Liking It” ~ More Steps To A Happier Self  

Have a most enjoyable day and whether you purchase a book or not, I thank you for spending some time with me. Bright blessings to you all!

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6 Responses to 'I’M NOT PERFECT AND IT’S OKAY ~ Thirteen Steps to a Happier Self ~ Chapter One (continued) July 25, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte'

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  1. Shanyn said,

    Dolores, thanks for this. When I learned to love the outside of me I started to understand how to love the inside of me, the parts which are so vulnerable, and those which are hard and those which struggle against the nipping little foxes of frustration and the few which just seem wired wrong. Understanding this helps me as a Mama to encourage my son to love who he is, and care for others when they don’t feel very loving towards themselves. Wonderfully done!


    • Shanyn….You are very welcome! I can see by your comment that you understand only too well what I am saying and that you can identify with it. You have a wonderful way of describing exactly what we are dealing with…nipping little foxes of frustration and the few which just seem wired wrong. So many of us have dealt with the frustration of trying to overcome the way we have been programmed. It’s been a long and hard healing process to learn to quash those negative little voices in our heads that we need to get past in order to be emotionally healthy. I feel that I can be a better Mom to my three daughters like you are to your son. I think because of our experiences, we can help them have a better self-image and encourage them to not only care for others but for themselves as well. Charity really does begin at home. Blessings to you Shanyn. I very much appreciate your support and encouragement.

  2. audrakrell said,

    I love your writing. You have so obviously “been there” and that is important to me when I read a self-help book. You know exactly what it takes to accept yourself and you know and convey that it is a continuous work in progress. Congratulations on this wonderful book!


    • Audra….Thank you! You have no idea how much your comments mean to me today. As you have so aptly put, accepting ourselves is a continuous work in progress. I consider it to be an evolution of the spirit. We continue to learn and grow throughout our life time. I still take many steps backwards and reach out to my own self-help book to assist me in getting through difficult periods. I did this exact thing just over a week ago when I needed to remind myself about the art of forgiving. I read the chapter on forgiveness to refresh my memory. You are so correct in your assessment of me. I have definitely “been there” and it is a huge compliment to me that you know this. May God grant you His choicest blessings my dear friend in Christ.

  3. Audra said,

    Thank you for your blessing! Keep doing what you’re doing, always returning to your first love for guidance and true acceptance.


    • Audra,
      You are most welcome. I like that…always returning to your first love for guidance and true acceptance. Great advice. Take gentle care my dear friend in Christ. 🙂


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