A Woman's Voice

A MAN’S VOICE ~ WORDS OF WISDOM ~ A Response to “Shadow of the Hammer” by Charles Betts June 3, 2011

Once again, Charles Betts has shared his “words of wisdom” with me. I have chosen to share them with you.  This is his response to Scarred Seeker which was posted on Wednesday. Thank you Charles for taking the time to share what is in your heart.

Dolores; What sadness I read in this lady’s post. So many people unhappy with who they are lash out at others, Thinking, I think, that somehow this lashing out and deflating others will cause themselves to appear higher on the scale of humanity. It has been my decision since a young man in my late teens that the words I use would build and strengthen those I converse with. Once I began practising this I soon realized that when a person is happy with who they are they tend to leave others alone. One of my first thoughts when I hear someone degrading another is, ” here is a very unhappy person”. I have yet to see this otherwise.

My father was a very verbally abusive person. Thankfully for me, by the time I was 15-16 years old, I realized that his problems need not become mine, nor his character mine. By God’s grace and the scriptures I was able to forgive him and pray for his change. At the same time, I believe it was due to God helping me to recognize these traits, that I was able to change how my person developed. I am so glad He did.

I would also like to discuss some the part about controllers. It is my believe that controllers want to control because they are afraid to love and open their heart to love. They are also afraid to share their soul because they are afraid they will lose a part of themselves somehow. I liken it sometimes to the widow who was told to go to her neighbors and borrow as many vessels as she could and fill them with the meager oil supply she had. The oil did not run out until the vessels stopped coming. Such is love I feel. We are to put as much into all who come as we can. It will not run out unless we stop pouring. Once we stop then the supply stops.

I recognize that many times it takes great courage to love some people who we know will abuse that love. I think I mentioned in another email to you that my loving people has nothing to do with them many times, but more of what is in my heart to do. If they choose to abuse or under-appreciate that love, then that is their choice and a further indication of a very troubled soul.
I was so very glad to read where this lady indicates that her healing has begun. As we help others to heal we heal ourselves. To her I say, let the healing flow outward and then it will surely happen inside.
God Bless you and her for sharing, Charles Betts

FREE DRAW ~ Anyone who leaves a comment on any article from now until June 15th, gets their name put in a draw for a free copy of my book ”Growing Up & Liking It”.  The more comments that you leave the greater your chances of winning. Good Luck!


8 Responses to 'A MAN’S VOICE ~ WORDS OF WISDOM ~ A Response to “Shadow of the Hammer” by Charles Betts June 3, 2011'

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  1. laurette godard said,



    • Laurette,,,that one word says it all! My sentiments exactly!!

  2. Dolores, what a simply beautiful post!!

    Packed with so much wisdom, truly a message from God!
    I had to read it twice.

    I loved the final words of Charles, which have left such a wonderful impression on me, ‘ As we help others to heal we heal ourselves. ………..let the healing flow outward and then it will surely happen inside.

    God bless you, for sharing this post, which I too had to share by tweeting it.
    I am so glad I decided to drop by your site to catch up 🙂

    God Bless

    • Thank you Carole,
      I very much agree with you. Charles’ words are always packed with wisdom and they have a gentle way of hitting home with a message from God. What he says about helping others to heal is so very true. In the end we truly heal ourselves at the same time. I appreciate you tweeting this powerful message. It’s wonderful to have you read my posts and share in our healing circle. Blessings to you and yours! 🙂

  3. shanyn said,

    Dolores, thank you so much for sharing my post. Charles thank you for your words, and yes I am healing and learning to recognize the hammers in my life, and avoid them! I’m honoured that you both went to Scarred Seeker to read my post. Bright blessings, Shanyn

    • Hi Shanyn…you are welcome. I very much enjoyed your post. I was pleased to see that Charles left such an encouraging comment and that you had the opportunity to read it. I’m happy that you are healing and learning to recognize the hammers in your life. It takes time and effort but in the end it is well worth it. Bright blessings to you too! I like that expression…bright blessings. I think I’m going to use it now and then and I’ll think of you when I do. 🙂

      • shanyn said,

        🙂 I appreciate your coming by the blog and your comments! Be brightly blessed, and share bright blessings whenever you think of it!

      • You are very welcome Shanyn…I will most definitely share bright blessings whenever and as often as possible. 🙂

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