A Woman's Voice


THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY ~ Two Wrongs ~ April 7, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte and Charles Betts

My Dad used to have one of the neatest sayings. It’s been nineteen years since he passed away. I still miss him and the impact he had on my life to this day. He was not a well-educated man nor was he perfect. I certainly remember thinking he was when I was a young child right up into my adult life. I had such an innocent love and high regard for him that I had him on a pretty high  pedestal. It took me well into my adult years to fully realize that my Dad was human just like the rest of us. I used to think he could do no wrong. I spent plenty of time listening to him and the stories he had to share.  He also had quite a few cute sayings.  One of them that has come to mind many times over the years is “two wrongs don’t make a right”.

I can’t count the number of times I heard him say this quote throughout my life.  When people hurt us, we have the tendency to want to hurt them right back. There seems to be a trait in our human nature that likes to get even. As I write this, there is something that happened to me to make me think of this adage. Not all people are kind and it’s very difficult to be kind to people who have shown unkindness to us.  Today is a day when I need to remind myself to be kind to unkind people. This is when I can hear my Dad say, “two wrongs don’t make a right”. To be unkind toward someone who has hurt me will never make things right and I will be no further ahead than the person who was initially unkind.  Yup…my Dad may not have been the best educated man nor was he perfect but just the same, he sure had plenty of wisdom.  

It’s neat how God works to get us the messages that we need to hear if we are in tune to His communication and open to this concept.  Before I went to bed I wrote this article and the next morning before I even had a chance to post it, I received this unexpected comment from Charles Betts. I guess we need to hear things more than once. At times, it is beneficial to listen to the messages outside of our own thoughts and prayers. It may give us the clarity and vision that we are seeking. God works through people and by being open to their ideas and voices of wisdom, we can also find answers to our prayers and the inner peace we are striving to attain. Perhaps you can also benefit from the wisdom of Charles’ words and my Dad’s as well.

Good morning Dolores. I think the word (sm-eyes…smiling with our eyes) and its concept are a beneficial principle to apply to our daily routines. The eyes are for sure a window to the soul. I have known some people in life who have, due to rough circumstances in life, drawn the shades over the windows and refuse to let people see in. From my perspective it appears they feel that if no-one sees in then they are safe. They feel that any intruders are there only to take things from their soul which they do not want to give away or share. Their world becomes smaller and tighter and they eventually dry up inside.

When my two daughters were in their formative years and would come home from school, having been hurt or disappointed by their friends, they would express a desire to have nothing to do with that friend. I would say : “If you continue to cut off your friends when they hurt you, eventually you will end up in a small circle by yourself”. I wanted them to learn that pain will come but we must overcome the pain with love and forgiveness. Love will never dry up as long as we let it flow. Only when we dam it up inside does it dry up.

To get back to the “sm-eyes”, yes we are benefitted when we learn to let our eyes express the beauty of our souls. If someone abuses that beauty then they have some issues in their own soul. They need our friendship and prayers. As does God deal with us, we can be blessed when we love because it is in us, not because someone deserves it. In this way we are in control of our own happiness, not those we deal with. So it is that we sm-eyes all those we contact. Both they and we are blessed. Have a great day, Charles Betts.

Thanks Charles for sharing your wisdom! I especially like the down to earth way that you tell stories to demonstrate your point and to help us better understand your message. 

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6 Responses to 'THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY ~ Two Wrongs ~ April 7, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte and Charles Betts'

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  1. Dolores and Charles,
    You both speak so much truth. Dolores – to love even unkind people, and Charles – not to shut yourselves from others. After I had been hurt – I fell away from God and people – I built a wall around my heart and put up a protective barrier around my family. I tried to be in control. Thank the LORD, Jesus made His way into my heart – melted it and reminded me of Who was really in charge. What a blessing that has been in my life – a total freedom, to love and trust again. I might be hurt by some people in this world but I know Jesus always loves me.


    • Thanks Jan,
      I can see by your comment that you have also been hurt, as we all have been throughout our lives at one time or another. No one is exempt. I know too that I have unintentionally hurt others. It is not easy to love unkind people. In fact, it’s hard for me to even admit that others can actually be intentionally unkind. I think it is natural to have a tendency to protect ourselves from the unkindness of others but it is wonderful to have our hearts made new so that we can see things in a better light and find understanding and compassion.

      I really liked what Charles said about loving people whether they deserve to be loved or not. When you look at life this way, it’s only about loving people and not about their actions towards us. I think this is what Jesus really means when He says to love our enemies. It’s easy to love our friends but it’s not so easy to love our enemies. It’s where our weakness exists. I also like when Charles mentioned about people who see the beauty of another person’s soul but they choose to hurt that person because they see their vulnerability. These people must live with the condition of their own souls and we must learn to love them nonetheless. I think Charles is a very wise man. Thanks for your comments Jan, especially the one about knowing that Jesus always loves us no matter what. Blessings!

  2. chosenwoman said,

    I love this post and how you remember. That is so amazing how we remember the words of our parents when we get older.


    • Hi Desiray….yes it is amazing how we remember the teachings of our parents. Oftentimes, when I’ve coached my own children and grandchildren I have used a lot of the same expressions and morals that I was taught as a child . Some teachings always remain the same. Thanks for your comments.


  3. Mom used to tell us that, too, growing up 🙂 Enjoyed reading this and the memories it brought. Blessings, BJ


    • Hi Barb…thanks for your comments. Some of these old sayings never go out of style. I think your Mom and my Dad knew exactly what they were talking about. Blessings to you too.


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