A Woman's Voice


DEALING WITH ANGER ~ More Thought-Provoking Responses ~ March 7 2011

Last Saturday was the one year anniversary of “A Wo-Man’s Voice”. A couple of weeks ago, I was running dry on ideas about what to write on my blog.  At that point, my goal was to make it to March 5th. I mentioned to Hope that I hadn’t been feeling very creative or inspired these days and she suggested I try doing another creative activity to get my juices flowing again.  I did that and then I came up with the idea to write an article on depression which I explained could be the result of anger turned inward.  It fits into the category of things I know more about because I have suffered from bouts of major depression. 

I was pleased that Hope left a response on dealing with the aspect of anger which further inspired me to write more on the subject. I was very pleased when Charles also left a revealing comment about his very personal story and his views about dealing with anger.  I posted it on my main blog because it was so good that I didn’t want anyone to miss it.  I am now going to post two comments (Hope’s and Peter’s) that followed what Charles’ shared on Friday, March 4th and his response to them. 

Before I do that though, I want to mention one thing. We all know what anger is and each of us has had to deal with this not so positive emotion at one time or another in our lives. Uncontrollable anger is the issue we are discussing here. It’s the kind of anger that lashes out verbally, in written form, or physically etc. This kind of anger is what I consider to be abusive. Many people suffer from this kind of anger and either refuse to recognize it or don’t care to take responsibility for the consequences of their anger and get the help that they so desperately need. These people need our prayers and our help. This is the reason I have chosen to open up this discussion forum in a new and creative way.

Hope’ s comment.

“What a great post. I really was touched by this comment ..

I have in my life time seen so many people be less than they could be because they failed to see the value of their own soul and others …

Sometimes knowing the measure of our own worth is such a struggle. At least it is for me, especially after loosing Arielle.

Charles decided not to be angry and did the hard work to get past it. I’m impressed with the age (15) when he had that awareness, I was much older when that notion was introduced to me.

I also liked choosing to be kind and using kind words even in difficult situations is much more rewarding and lets both parties involved live …

There is a song by Jewel, whose lyrics struck me so I wrote them on a piece of paper and put it in my wallet. I see it every time I reach for my cash .. the lyrics are from the song Hands and the lyric is .

‘ in the end, only kindness matters … ‘

that just struck me so, in the same way that Charles’ words have today ..

Kindness goes a long way …

One thing, I do want to mention is that anger, in a moment, sometimes is our warning system that something is wrong .. I’m not sure my goal would be to never be angry .. my goal is to not live angry … I want to make sure I hear the lessons of my anger .. learn , then ‘calm’ the anger, as you stated in your previous post .. and move on.

this has been such a great discussion here … so much to think about ..

thanks so much for posting all this, thought-provoking information ..great job!”  

Eyes On Hope

Peter’s comment: 

Charles Betts’ testimonial is true to life and is very instructional. The role of the biblical scriptures in his experience of coming to an understanding of the nature and results of anger and his overcoming it in his life, is a testimony, too, to the value of God’s Word when properly applied to one’s life.
Thank you Dolores and Charles.

Raise the Gaze

Charles’ response:

Dolores; I did indeed check back and read with interest the feedback from Hope and Peter. Their comments were welcome and appreciated. I realize that it is very difficult for them or anyone to comprehend completely from my testimonial exactly all that transpired in my life to bring me to the place where anger no longer had dominion over who I was.

Somewhere in my young conscience I was able to understand that every person I met in life was a soul in the eyes of God and just as precious as I was. Along with the angry things I wrote about, over time I began to get an understanding of the scripture that says” Death and life are in the power of the tongue and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” I believe strongly that we can give life to souls that have been injured and allow healing to flow from us to them simply by the words we speak. In the same way we can cause irreparable harm to the souls of those we speak unkindly to. Like the fruit from any good tree, or crop, we plant today and reap the harvest sometime in the future.

At some point in my early life I pledged to God and myself that I would not say anything to anyone that I would not say to Jesus if it was He that I was dealing with in any particular situation. What a difference it made in the way I handled things.

As an addendum to my earlier posting, I would like to relay an incident that happened to me just last Sunday. Approximately 30+ years ago there was a young man [16 at the time] who went to our church. A lot had happened to in his family that would cause most kids to be angry and I did not fault him for his anger. I was in my early 20′s and God had already done so much in my life with anger issues. I had a conversation with him and advised him that if he did not get a hold of the anger in his life it would destroy him. I promptly forgot the conversation. I had only seen him once in the intervening years. He and two of his sisters were in church last Sunday. I got a chance to talk with him some after service and he related to me the advice I had given him. He testified that it took him a few years, but he did get control of the anger and it made such a positive change in his life. He had never forgotten the advice, just that it had taken him a few years to follow it. He thanked me for caring enough to help him. I give God the glory.

Thanks again for this forum that allows me share good things from God. God bless you all, Charles Betts

I would like to thank all three of you for taking part in this discussion on anger. Your thoughts, wisdom,  scriptural reference, and knowledge have been so very helpful to us all. 

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5 Responses to 'DEALING WITH ANGER ~ More Thought-Provoking Responses ~ March 7 2011'

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  1. Audra Krell said,

    I love that Jewel song too, only kindness matters indeed. How encouraging that positive words made such an impact on a young man who is now making the world a better place by choosing to do the hard work of not being angry.

  2. hope_rising said,

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY ‘A WOMAN’S VOICE’

    what a great milestone. Thanks for being here for us for a whole year … so amazing!

    Anger can be such a slippery slope, this has been a great discussion. Both Peter and Charles were so insightful and inspiring. I love Charle’s story about the young man he spoke to. I know I have had perfect strangers be very kind and generous to me, and I think I have been that way for others I may never see again … kindness is an awesome experience from either side of the transaction …

    what a great discussion!

    well done Miss D!

    LLL from HTH !


    • Hope…I must say that you’ve made my day more than you could ever know. Enjoy your week off! HTH from LLL

  3. Phoenix said,

    This part of Hope’s commented has resonated deeply with me today:
    “…my goal is to not live angry … I want to make sure I hear the lessons of my anger .. learn , then ‘calm’ the anger, as you stated in your previous post .. and move on…”

    I have been resisting getting in touch with my anger during counselling for fear that it will overwhelm and consume me, but I think Hope’s comment has helped me to understand what my psychologist has been trying to tell me for weeks now – it’s ok to ‘feel’ anger and acknowledge it, and in doing so let go of it.

    Thank you so much Dolores and Hope, both of you have helped me more than you will ever know over the last 9 months.


    • Hi Phoenix,
      Thanks so much for your comments. I am very touched by the fact that Hope and I have managed to help you over the last several months. I know this has been a very difficult period in your life. I hope you will get some closure soon from the ordeal that you have been facing. It seems that your psychologist agrees with Hope’s assessment of the emotion of anger. I truly hope that you will find the peace and comfort that you are seeking in the very near future. Take gentle care.


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