A Woman's Voice

A MAN’S VOICE ~ Dealing With Anger ~ March 4, 2011 by Charles Betts


Have you ever heard the expression, “You took the words right out of my mouth”?  Charles left a comment yesterday after my post titled “Dealing With Anger”. Charles went one step further than the above statement of taking the words right out of my mouth when it comes to the issue of anger.  He not only expresses my sentiments, he explains anger from such a personal frame of reference that it hits home even better. I have reprinted his comment here in its entirety so that all of my readers will have the opportunity to share in Charles’ wisdom. Thank you Charles for sharing your spirituality and wisdom so openly and honestly.

Dolores; I was intrigued by your post on anger and the comments that ensued. I would like to make a comment as well.

   I grew up in a house that knew much anger. Some expressed, some suppressed, but seldom was it ever controlled. Not a lot of violence involved but a lot of verbal abuse. I remember as a child being very angry myself. In my early teens I began to be aware that this anger was damaging. By the time I was 15 I realized that the anger could end up destroying not only myself but others around me. I began praying for God’s help and at this time with my study of scriptures making me aware of God’s opinion of anger, I decided that I did not want to be an angry man, as my father was. Somehow I came to the conclusion that if I let people or things anger me, then these people or things would control me. I made a conscious decision that I would with God’s help beat the anger. It took a few years, but by the time I was married and had children, the anger was not an issue for me.

  The single biggest influence on my decision to stay anger free has been the scripture in Prov. that says ” Be not hasty in your spirit to be angry for anger rests in the bosom of fools” and its companion verse that says ” Join not yourself to an angry man lest you learn his ways and so get a snare for your soul”. These two had such an impact on me. The first reminded me of a scripture that goes “The fool has said in his heart that there is no God” My thought at the time was that perhaps the reason people use anger so freely and abuse others by it is because they fail to realize that we are responsible for our words and since there is no God we will never be taken to task for our anger. The second reference above caused me to think that a snare chokes the life out of whatever is caught therein and if I wanted my soul to be alive then I must take charge of my anger and not let it get the best of me.

  I have in my life time seen so many people be less than they could be because they failed to see the value of their own soul and others, and both were, if not destroyed, at least negatively affected by their anger. Choosing to be kind and using kind words even in difficult situations is much more rewarding and lets both parties involved live. It may take a lifetime to realize the rewards but well worth the effort. At least when we lay down at night we don’t have to beat ourselves up because we did or said something in anger today.

  As well. I have yet to be able to recall even one situation where anger has made the problem better. I have on the other hand seen it cause a lot of destruction, both to property and people.

  These are some of my reflections on the subject. I hope it helps some. I know what God has done in my life has been a blessing to my family. I like to think that for my family at least the cycle was broken.

 Thanks for letting me post this, Charles Betts”

You are most welcome Charles.  I actually would like to thank you for your inspirational story!


6 Responses to 'A MAN’S VOICE ~ Dealing With Anger ~ March 4, 2011 by Charles Betts'

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  1. Peter Black said,

    Charles Betts’ testimonial is true to life and is very instructional. The role of the biblical scriptures in his experience of coming to an understanding of the nature and results of anger and his overcoming it in his life, is a testimony, too, to the value of God’s Word when properly applied to one’s life.
    Thank you Dolores and Charles.

    • Hi Peter,
      Thanks so much for your comments about Charles’ post. He is a very insightful man and I’m sure he will be pleased with your positive feedback. Blessings to you, May and your family

  2. hope_rising said,

    what a great post. I really was touched by this comment ..

    I have in my life time seen so many people be less than they could be because they failed to see the value of their own soul and others …

    Sometimes knowing the measure of our own worth is such a struggle. At least it is for me, especially after loosing Arielle.

    Charles decided not to be angry and did the hard work to get past it. I’m impressed with the age he had that awareness, I was much older when that notion was introduced to me.

    I also liked Choosing to be kind and using kind words even in difficult situations is much more rewarding and lets both parties involved live …

    there is a song by Jewel, whose lyrics struck my so I wrote them on a piece of paper and put it in my wallet. I see it every time I reach for my cash .. the lyrics are from the the song Hands and the lyric is .

    ‘ in the end, only kindness matters … ‘

    that just struck me so, in the same way that Charles’ words have today ..

    Kindness goes a long way …

    One thing, I do want to mention is that anger, in a moment, sometimes is our warning system that something is wrong .. I’m not sure my goal would be to never be angry .. my goal is to not live angry … I want to make sure I hear the lessons of my anger .. learn ,, then ‘calm’ the anger, as you stated in your previous post .. and move on …

    this has been such a great discussion here … so much to think about ..

    thanks so much for posting all this, thought provoking information ..

    great job!

    LLL from HTH !

    • Hope…I’m hoping Charles will check back to see what you’ve written here. You have been very kind with your comments and I couldn’t agree with you more! Kindness goes along way….and to people like us, I know it is the only way to go. Thanks for being you! Miss D 🙂

  3. Charles Betts said,

    Dolores; I did indeed check back and read with interest the feedback from Hope and Peter. Their comments were welcome and appreciated. I realize that it is very diificult for them or anyone to comprehend completely from my testimonial exactly all that transpired in my life to bring me to the place where anger no longer had dominion over who I was.
    Somewhere in my young conscience I was able to understand that every person I met in life was a soul in the eyes of God and just as precious as I was. Along with the anger things I wrote about, over time I began to get an understanding of the scripture that says” Death and life are in the power of the tongue and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” I believe strongly that we can give life to souls that have been injured and allow healing to flow from us to them simply by the words we speak. In the same way we can cause irreparable harm to the souls of those we speak unkindly to.Like the fruit from any good tree, or crop, we plant today and reap the harvest sometime in the future.
    At some point in my early life I pledged to God and myself that I would not say anything to anyone that I would not say to Jesus if it was He that I was dealing with in any particular situation. What a difference it made in the way I handled things.
    As an addenum to my earlier posting, I would like to relay an incident that happened to me just last Sunday. Approximately 30+ years ago there was a young man [16 at the time] who went to our church. A lot had happened to in his family that would cause most kids to be angry and I did not fault him for his anger. I was in my early 20’s and God had already done so much in my life with anger issues. I had a conversation with him and advised him that if he did not get a hold of the anger in his life it would destroy him. I promptly forgot the conversation. I had only seen him once in the intervening years. He and two of his sisters were in church last sunday. I got a chance to talk with him some after service and he related to me the advice I had given him. He testified that it took him a few years, but he did get control of the anger and it made such a positve change in his life. He had never forgotten the advice, just that it had taken him a few years to follow it. He thanked me for caring enough to help him. I give God the glory.
    Thanks again for this forum that allows me share good things form God. God bless you all, Charles Betts

  4. […] Dealing With Anger ~ Thought-Provoking Response by Charles Betts ~ March 4, 2011 […]

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