A Woman's Voice

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY ~ Dealing With Depression ~ February 17, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

Depression is a very complex thing and it has the tendency to touch most of our lives in one way or another.  I have read that depression is anger turned in. From my own personal frame of reference, I have come to believe that this can be a true statement depending on the an individual’s circumstances. Having said that, I have also come to realize that figuring out what we’re angry about can be a real challenge. “Challenges are what makes life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” (Joshua J. Marine)   At times, we become very angry at ourselves and what is going on in our lives.  We can also become angry at other people because we may want to blame them for our depressed state or our overall unhappiness.  Perhaps the anger is a result of hurt feelings and what other people have said or done to us or what they aren’t doing for us. There is a natural tendency to let this anger fester inside so that it becomes so much bigger than it actually is.  Our down feelings or depression actually end up feeding, these oftentimes, perceived hurts and resentments.

When we aren’t enjoying our lives the way we think we should, we may become frustrated and resentful.  We can often think it is someone or something outside of ourselves that is causing us to feel this negative way.  Even if the harm that has been done to us is very real, it is very difficult to let go of because it has become such a part of our basic being.  In essence, this state of depression or negative life cycle can become like a trusty friend that we rely on as we visit these not so positive feelings over and over again. 

It’s as if these “down” feelings become comfortable and at times, we can end up isolating ourselves from other people because they may not feel the same about our situation as we do.  We think that we understand ourselves so much better because we know what has been done to us and what we feel inside.  These inner feelings are okay for a time as we work through the healing process and try to better help ourselves but if we stay there too long, they can become our true enemy. There is a fine line.  Making the effort to get past the anger in this negative life cycle is a huge decision.  It means that we have decided to let go and to move on in a positive direction. It means that we have decided to forgive not only those who have added to our grief, but to also forgive ourselves.  It means that we have now taken back the responsibility for the happiness in our own lives.  This decision is not for the faint of heart. “You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” (Eleanor Roosevelt) We must look in the mirror and decide to act.

This is a very crucial point in the healing process.  It is the very first step in deciding that we truly want a happier self.  It’s taking back our own personal power. “Quality is never an accident.  It represents the wise choice of many alternatives.” (Willa Foster)  It’s realizing that we are accepting the responsibility for the majority of happiness or unhappiness in our own lives by adjusting our own attitude and choices in life. “The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.” (Abraham Lincoln) There will be steps forward and steps back but in the end if we make up our minds to endure, we will climb this uphill battle and succeed.

I want to stress once more that this is a very crucial decision.  It is much more natural to feel like the victim of someone else’s bad behavior toward us than it is to “grow up” and admit that our own slate may not be as sparkly clean as we perceive it to be. It means we must embrace the fact that we may very well have had a hand in what is happening in our lives. It might explain why we lack confidence, self-esteem and may be adding to our own depressed state. Yuck…who really wants to look at themselves in such an analytical way?  If we really want to move up the ladder and onto happier times, we must make a very big decision and take a very big step.  This step is what I refer to as the “leap of faith” step because we are also deciding to reach out to a Higher Power and get past these not so good feelings about ourselves.  We are not alone.  Reach down really deep, and there’s a hand inside you that will reach back and together you will find the strength, the courage, and the inspiration to move on up so you can better see the light of day!  “The spirit, and the will to win, and the will to excel are the things that endure.” (Vince Lombardi) Winning the battle over depression, will be one of the biggest victories you will ever make in this game called “life”. I know, I’ve been there.


3 Responses to 'THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY ~ Dealing With Depression ~ February 17, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte'

Subscribe to comments with RSS or TrackBack to 'THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY ~ Dealing With Depression ~ February 17, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte'.

  1. hope_rising said,

    My goodness Miss D! what a very very insightful article.

    I agree whole wholeheartedly that moving past anger is a decision. Sometimes I think the things that are at the root of our anger are out of our consciousness, much as you have stated here. I had a very wise person once tell me that when the reason is out of your consciousness, you are still a victim of it. But once you are aware, but still acting in the same self destructive way, you are no longer a victim, but you are choosing to be that way and blaming someone else. I think her point was, once you are aware of the self destructive behavior, then you are wholly responsible for moving on or not. But no longer is there room for blame. So that took me a while to digest, but I think now, that it is very true.

    It’s amazing how powerful you feel, once you realize there is a choice to be angry or not. Simple solution, very difficult to live by. With a daily commitment to think otherwise, there is proportional reprieve of the burden in that day.

    I really liked this article. I will probably read it over a few times, as I already have your books!

    LLL from HTH !

    catching up here!

    • Hope,
      I appreciate your insightfulness on this particular post. I agree with you that much of our anger is “out of our consciousness”. We may have trouble embracing the emotion that we are truly dealing with and we may go to great lengths to cover it up. I think you had a very wise friend when she told you that you can be a “victim” of your own anger. One of the major steps in dealing with this repressed anger is trying to get it to the surface in order to get the help that we may need in overcoming it.

      It is very true that once we are aware of what we are dealing with and if we choose to act in the same self-destructive way, we are no longer victims. As part of the healing process, it is necessary to acknowledge that there is no room for blame. Moving past anger and blame is a huge step towards personal freedom. Acknowledging our own anger, gives us power over our words and our actions. Your friend’s philosophy is chock full of wisdom and a great motto to live by. Thanks for sharing her words. I certainly agree with you that we have a choice whether to be angry or not. The key word is choice. Simple solution…yes. Very difficult to live by…yes indeed.

      Hope…Thanks for reading my books! I very much appreciate it.
      HTH from LLL Miss D

  2. […] Thoughtful Thursday, February 17,  I recently wrote a post titled “Dealing With Depression”.  In this article I expressed the view that depression could be a result of anger turned inward. […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: