A Woman's Voice


STANDING MOTIONLESS — November 27, 2010 by Phoenix Rose

Posted in A WOMAN'S VOICE by doloresayotte on November 27, 2010
Tags: , , , , ,

A Wo-Man’s Voice

Does moving forward sometimes mean standing still?

This is how I feel at the moment – like I am standing still.  It doesn’t feel like this is something negative, but rather like a long-needed breathing space before tidying up the loose ends of the past and setting a new direction for the future.  This week I have allowed myself to just ‘be’.  I have not made any major decisions, I have not set any goals, and I have deliberately not allowed myself to focus on anything in particular.  Instead I have tried to listen to my body, and observe my thoughts and actions without trying to control the outcome or try to meet any expectations.  I cannot remember ever doing this before.

Standing still doesn’t mean I haven’t learnt anything this week – I have.

There has been a recurring theme at my work this week – we all have a choice about how we deal with life.

Everyone in my unit faces the same frustrations, the same difficult working environment, and the same set of circumstances that, at times, leaves us feeling overwhelmed and stressed.  For some of us, these feelings grow exponentially when we are forced to also cope with changes to systems and processes on top of our normal duties.  For some, these changes are so overwhelming they make their feelings of discontent and dissatisfaction known to all and sundry, loud and clear – although, all of us have been guilty of complaining to some degree this week.

When a colleague came to me and started to tell me about their frustration and began to echo many of the same sentiments I have had over the years, it dawned on me that despite all our whingeing and complaining, we still turn up there, day after day, and subject ourselves to all this stress.  We know what the organisation is like.  We know what management is like.  We know the conditions under which we have to carry out our tasks.  Yet all we do is complain.

This made me question my own motivation for working where I do.  It turns out that, for me, the benefits I get from working there far outweigh the amount of stress I have to deal with.  If that is the case, then what am I complaining about?  I know from experience that no matter what I do things will never change at work, so why not just accept that I make the choice to keep working there and get on with my job?

Once I started to understand that I choose to work where I do, I started to think about all of the things in my life I have complained about over the years.  Guess what I found?  Despite all my complaining, all of the times I have said I wanted to live differently, and all of the times I have wanted to be different, I have not done anything that will seriously alter the path I have been on.

As if the universe wanted to validate that point to me, I discovered a couple of my old diaries that covered the years 2004 to 2007.  The things that were written in there could have been written anytime up until the end of May 2010 – seriously!  The emotions I wrote about, the relationships, the events, the thoughts about myself – everything – nothing had changed in all that time.  Six years!

In contrast, I was also able to see how much has changed and how far I have progressed in the last few months.  I’m not complaining anymore, now I am taking action.  Now I am getting the support that I need to move forward.  Now I am moving out of my comfort zone, facing my fears, bringing out the truth and putting one foot in front of the other to make real and lasting change to me and my life.  The world hasn’t ended by being more open.  The sky hasn’t fallen.  I am still breathing.

Now that I can see and understand more clearly that life is a choice, I can enjoy this time of being still and look forward to the challenges that are ahead.

Thanks so much Phoenix for your post. It is refreshing to see your personal growth as you have so openly shared such an intimate part of yourself with all of us today.  To learn more about Phoenix please visit: http://socratesandserendipity.wordpress.com 

 

Advertisements

7 Responses to 'STANDING MOTIONLESS — November 27, 2010 by Phoenix Rose'

Subscribe to comments with RSS or TrackBack to 'STANDING MOTIONLESS — November 27, 2010 by Phoenix Rose'.

  1. Sarah said,

    as I read this I thought of the scripture…there’s a time for everything….

    • Phoenix said,

      Hi Sarah, the truth of your comment struck me as I read it. Thank you 🙂

  2. Andrea said,

    Life is about choices, how many times do we forget this. Great post, it reminded me that to change one’s life, one has to take responsibility for the life one is choosing to live in the now.

    Andrea

    • Phoenix said,

      Hi Andrea, accepting responsibility for where we are right now is one of the hardest steps in bringing about real and lasting change in our lives – at least it is in my own journey. It is so much easier to bury our heads in the sand or blame others for our situation, but every decision, action, and thought has led us to this present moment – admitting that to ourselves, and more importantly accepting the truth of it, although often painful, is also very healing and in some cases liberating.

  3. hope_rising said,

    Phoenix!

    what an awesome observation! It’s so true. Not to sound trite with the ol’ glass half empty, half full, but that’s sort of what I heard in your story. I have really noticed over the past year, that the good and the bad in all situations are equally present all the time, the difference in the experience is where we put our focus. I am finding it makes a world of difference to choose to see what is right ….. in that way, more of what is right .. is shown …

    great topic, well written!

    • Phoenix said,

      Thank you Hope. I agree, because I too am learning that all situations present equal parts of ‘good’ and ‘bad’, and it is our perceptions (framed by our previous experiences) that give us a positive or negative interpretation of the situation. Consciously choosing the ‘half full’ experience is not only less stressful, but, as you say, brings about more positives.

      I’m glad you liked the post.

  4. Phoenix said,

    My apologies to everyone for the delay in responding to your wonderful comments, but I have been out of action thanks to a virus – although I am on the mend.

    Thank you Dolores, for the opportunity to share my writing with others. I appreciate your support more than I can express in words.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: