A Woman's Voice

CHILDLESS MOTHER — November 5, 2010 by Dolores Ayotte

Posted in A WOMAN'S VOICE by doloresayotte on November 5, 2010
Tags: , , ,

A Wo-Man’s Voice

In May, my husband and I returned from a brief trip to Swift Current to attend our granddaughter’s Confirmation.  As you can see by the picture, Grandpa is her proud sponsor. What an unbelievable honor she bestowed upon him.  I witnessed his pleasure first hand, when he received our granddaughter’s phone call.

We hadn’t visited with them since before Christmas and we saw a huge change.  The girls have grown and matured and as usual we enjoyed our short visit with them.

On the way home, we always listen to the local radio station to get a bit of news about the surrounding area. The talk show on this particular morning was about an unfortunate car accident that took place on March 29, 2009 in a small town just outside of Swift Current.

The topic immediately grabbed our attention because two of the mothers that had lost their daughters were being interviewed about the tragic event.  Three young girls, two sixteen years of age, as well as a fourteen year old were making a left turn when a car driven by a male who was seventeen years old, tried to pass them on the left.  He was driving 128k/hr and he hit them.  All three of the girls died in this horrible car accident.  The mothers, the families, and the friends of these girls have been beside themselves with the grief of their loss.

The young man happened to be sentenced the week before and the talk show revolved around the punishment received and whether it was adequate enough.  Although the judge gave him a sentence to suit his age when the accident occurred, even though he is now eighteen years old, some people who called in to express their opinion, did not think he received enough of a sentence.

My heart goes out to the mothers who lost their daughters in the prime of their lives and in such a tragic way.  They were both quite big minded despite their unbelievable loss.   However, comments were made by some callers that this young man had his whole life to live while the girls had so sadly lost theirs by his reckless actions.  Some felt that he did not show enough remorse.

Later on in the talk show, I briefly heard the comment that the young man was struggling with his life.  My heart goes out to him and his mother as well.  Unless this man has no conscience at all, I cannot fathom that he has been unaffected by having had a hand in the death of these three young women.

I would have to think that he will somehow or other be scarred for life.  He lives in a small town where he would have little or no anonymity.  He will live with the reality of his careless actions for the rest of his life.  He will probably marry one day and have children of his own.  He may very well learn to pray and appreciate the quality of life when he faces his actions as a more mature individual.

Yes, those young girls, their families and their friends got robbed, but I personally do not envy the life that this young man now has to live.  Anyone who thinks it is going to be easy is only fooling him/herself.  I also feel for this young man, his family and his friends.  I’m sure his mother’s heart is aching too because there is much more to face in her son’s life and he will need the support of them all.

They have all lost so much and their lives are forever changed. Three mothers lost their daughters on March 29, 2009 and one mother lost the innocence that her young son can no longer enjoy.   All four of the mothers lost children that fateful day.  Only now, one has to live with his actions for the rest of his life.  Not a fun way to grow up.

Previously posted by TWG in May, 2010



“There are many truths of which the full meaning cannot be realized until personal experience has brought it home.” (John Stuart Mill)



8 Responses to 'CHILDLESS MOTHER — November 5, 2010 by Dolores Ayotte'

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  1. My heart just breaks into pieces when I hear of stories like these which unfortunately happen all to often. I too agree with you in that the boy who killed them has to live with this the rest of his life and I highly doubt a day goes by where he doesn’t think of it or feel remorse. Men especially express their emotions in a much different way than women do (for the most part). I feel for ALL involved…

    I appreciate you being supportive of this boy because all too often there’s more anger and hatred than forgiveness which allows people to move on in life. I can’t imagine how hard it must be living in a small town and knowing that every where you go people KNOW who you are…

    I too had to forgive a man who killed one of my good friends. They were both in the car together, but the one driving lived while my friend died… holding on to that anger is not healthy and it won’t bring back your loved one. I’m not saying forgiveness is easy, but it is what we must do to move on.

    Thanks for posting this Dolores…

    Take care,

    • Christine…yes my heart was aching for all the people in this story. The mothers were so wonderful in their willingness to forgive. So many innocent lives were affected. We recently had a horrible accident in the city where we live where a seventeen year old girl took two lives while driving under the influence of alcohol. I can’t even imagine what the rest of her life is going to entail. How sad!

  2. Susan said,

    This story just breaks my heart.I pray for all concerned in this tragic accident. There are far too many of our children killed by reckless and drunk drivers, and far too many young drivers without the experience and skills to successfully manage the powerful cars on the roads today. Many beginning drivers have little or no experience when they’re handed a set of car keys, and yet they are allowed out on the road with basically a “deadly weapon” in their hands.
    When you are 16 or 17, you still think of yourself as invincible. It’s a time in life when you never imagine that anything could happen to you. Unfortunately, by the time you reach my age, you’ve felt the grief of tragic loss of those close to you; whether family, friends, or neighbors. I agree with you that the young man is also paying with his life, yet perhaps he could turn his own tragic story into a way to help other young drivers in his town think before they act. It is, as you said…so sad.

    • Susan…I know exactly what you mean. Life is very fragile and I hope this young boy can turn this tragedy around and make something of his life for his own good and the good of others. We just had a similar incident in the city where we live. It is very sad indeed.

  3. hope_rising said,

    Miss D!

    What a sad story, and I agree, that young man will never be right. When I think of what I was like at 17, and you just don’t know what you don’t know.. it’s still very very young ….

    All those families changed, perhaps the mom’s of the teenage girls were big minded, because they were parents of teenagers. It’s easy for adults to judge the actions of teenagers with our experience and hindsight, but teenagers don’t have that resource. But if you have experience with teenage logic, it’s easier to have empathy for that young man.

    I wish the best for all the families. What a mess.

    On a brighter note! Fred looks so happy in that picture and your grand daughter is soo soo cute! Good for them!

    have a great weekend!
    LLL from HTH!

    • Hope…thank so much for your compliments about Fred and our granddaughter. I must admit that he was mighty honored. You should have seen him beaming when he took that phone call.

      I know what you mean about the mess that young driver’s life is now in after that tragic accident. You are so right about being young and unaware of life and the consequences of our actions. Talk about lost innocence! You have a great weekend too kiddo! HTH from LLL Miss D 🙂

  4. Audra Krell said,

    I love your compassion for this young man. One careless decision, changed lives forever. I of course, didn’t hear the calls that came in, but I think people often forget, that young men like this, are somebody’s little boy too. He didn’t wake up that day and decide to go hurt people and change lives. This wasn’t what anyone dreamed of.

    • Audra…I completely agree with you. I’m sure that it was never this young man’s intention to hurt anyone and now he will be hurting for the rest of his life. Very sad indeed!

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