A Woman's Voice


A Request, a Sigh, or Frustration? June 28, 2010 by Peter Black

Posted in A WOMAN'S VOICE,WORDS OF WISDOM ~ A MAN'S VOICE by doloresayotte on June 28, 2010
Tags: , ,

A Wo-Man’s Voice

 “I’m completely bogged down with so much to do I hardly know where to begin!” Such statements are often intoned with frustration or a sigh.  

                        Perhaps you can usually tell the difference.

When my wife, May, tells me that I got bogged down and spent way too long on my first point in a sermon, she’s usually right; but to my ear it sounds like frustration.

Recently she took a deep breath and said, “We’ve only got a few weeks left before we move, and we’ve got so much to do between now and then!” Her frustration over my slowness to reduce the size of my library and an abundance of tools before moving into a downsized home, while present, was over-ridden by a momentary sense of helplessness, expressed in a sigh. Ah yes, a woman’s voice, along with her actions, can tell us men so much about what matters to her.

Wise are the husbands and fathers who learn to hear and heed the voices of the womenfolk in their lives. Their intonation can tell us so much.

I’m having to work at honouring May through thoughtful sensitivity; that means much more to her than sentimentality. After more than 43 years of marriage, I’m still not there. My capacity for active listening’s coming, but way too slow! Fact is, I need to pick up on the voiced request or mild sigh – long before the emotional dynamic leads to extreme frustration.

May doesn’t ask for much, but she does want me to actually hear her heart, and be aware of how she feels about what she says and requests. This is expected of men who follow Christ (1 Peter 3:7 abbrev.): Husbands … be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect … so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Fellas, just think: Our significant other’s request may be something ever so insignificant to a man, but may mean a great deal to her. What do expensive dark chocolates and crimson roses mean to the woman whose guy won’t pick up his dirty socks, or fix the leaky faucet, eh? 😉

Thank you so much Peter for writing this post when you have been so busy moving. 

Peter is a recently retired pastor living in Southwestern Ontario. He came to Canada from Scotland with his wife, May, and family in 1974. They have three grown sons and six grandchildren. He writes a weekly inspirational column in The Watford Guide-Advocate, and is a regular contributor to The Word Guild’s blogspot. Peter’s first book, “Parables from the Pond” was a finalist in Word Alive Press’s 2007 contest, and is being read in a variety of settings and by all ages.

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10 Responses to 'A Request, a Sigh, or Frustration? June 28, 2010 by Peter Black'

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  1. Such a kind tribute to Peter’s wife, and Peter for being a wise husband! It is so true, although chocolate will go far with me, I
    can say picking up after one’s self and doing those extra little things to show he cares, are a true blessing. I’m very fortunate to have found such a jewel! AND it looks like Peter’s wife is too!

  2. Lorraine Gauthier said,

    That was a beautiful article Peter. I must say that this is also true for the female side! Several times I have said to my husband Barry,that when one gives an inch it becomes a yard for the receiver.Love is give and take and when we realize that giving provides so much joy it never needs to be measured.Thanks so much for sharing!!!

  3. Mary Haskett said,

    Peter as always you express your thoughts so well. Your sensitivity to May is admirable. I’m sure she appreciates your good intentions to complete tasks even if it takes a while. I empathize with you both regarding the down sizing, as you well know we went through it a couple of years ago. It is a mammoth task! I pray by now it’s completed. Bless you dear brother.

  4. Peter Black said,

    Ladies, you are much kinder to me in your comments than I deserve; but then, that’s what May has been over the years.
    Blessings temporal and eternal, personal and relational, to y’all!

  5. gabixler said,

    I’ve always been the listener in many of my close relationships so I know that it is very important to many people…I think as long as you keep trying, that is important to her as well! God Bless, Glenda

  6. clearbluewindow said,

    If there were more men in the world like you, Peter the world would be a much nicer place. However, I agree with Lorraine’s comment – Too few women these days also respect their partners.

  7. Shirley Sarafinchan said,

    Thank you Peter for sharing such beautiful insight from a “man’s” point of view on such a delicate subject for most women!! I too love chocolates and roses but when the tap is dripping or doors squeaking I just love to see my husband Ken get his tools out because then I know he has “heard” me!

    • Andrea Cockerill said,

      It is so wonderful to read such wisdom from a man who has obviously learnt the depth of worth of women.

  8. Kathy Eberly said,

    Thank you so much, Peter for your wise insight! May the Lord bless you on your move!

  9. Peter Black said,

    Hello again,Dolores,
    You and your respondents have been exceptionally kind, vis-a-vis this humble post.
    May the ‘voice’ contained within the voice of each of you be heard — and really heard. And even when those around you fail to really hear, remember there is One who knows the thoughts and intents of your heart. He cares and understands.


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