The Human and Humane Self-Help Author ~ Dolores Ayotte
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QUOTES AND ANECDOTES
“The battle of life is, in most cases, fought uphill; and to win without a struggle were perhaps to win it without honour. If there were no difficulties there would be no success; if there were nothing to struggle for, there would be nothing to be achieved.” (Samuel Smiles)
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My books are written in a gentle, conversational style, meant to reach my readers in a kind and non-judgmental way.
Both books, are self-help books about the steps I used to help me overcome two serious bouts with depression that I experienced in my earlier years. They are written in recipe format giving thirteen simple steps in each book that are easy to incorporate into daily living. In order to get out of the pit I found myself to be in, I had to do much soul-searching and reflection to get to the source of my depression.
My books are what I consider to be heart books. They are written from my heart to any and all hearts that are open to my message. They are also written with the intention of reaching out to help people by sharing some of my personal experiences. Others may be able to identify with some of my stories and anecdotes.
Hopefully, my suggestions will enhance the lives of my readers in much the same way they have enhanced mine.
Through my faith, eventual self-acceptance, and with the support of my husband, I was not only able to rise above my despair, I learned how to lead a full and rewarding life with my husband, children and now several grandchildren
My recipe for life consists of a little bit of this and a little bit of that borne from my life experiences. Usually, when I use all of the ingredients and steps…I end up with a pretty good product. Sometimes…I can still fail. It is this failure to succeed all of the time that helps remind of my humanity and the fact that I am not perfect and it’s okay.
To order “I’m Not Perfect And It’s Okay”, please click on one of the following:
Amazon USA
Amazon CANADA
Tate Publishing
Barnes and Noble
To order “Growing Up & Liking It”, please click on one of the following:
Amazon USA:
Amazon CANADA
Tate Publishing:
Barnes & Noble:
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MEMORY LANE ~ The Persistence Of The Spirit ~ October 17, 2011 by Andrea Cockerill
A Wo-Man’s Voice 
If you have ever been around children, you know how persistent they can be when they want your attention. All of my children let me know in their own way if they feel like they are not getting their fair share. Today it was my oldest daughter who told me loud and clear that her well for my attention was running low.
After filling my daughter’s well, I started thinking about how persistent our spirit can be when we are ignoring its guidance and passions. I have on many occasions put my spirit last on the list, but I am comforted with the fact that my spirit is going nowhere. No matter how long I ignore it, it is like a patient and trusted friend, waiting for my next phone call.
Our relationship with our spirit is like any other relationship that we honor in our lives. It needs our time in order for an intimate bond to be built. It is the difference between talking to one friend every few months and talking to another friend every few days. You may cherish both friends but it is the friend whom you talk to more often that is going to know the more intimate details of your daily life. This same principle applies to our spirit. If we form an intimate relationship with our spirit, we will be better able to understand and intuitively follow its subtle guidance system.
Your spirit promises you that it will never reject you. It is persistent but patient, and its sole goal is to lead you to the Divine. Forming a relationship with your spirit needs to be a conscious decision on a daily basis, but the rewards span a life time.
Namaste (I see the Divine in you which is also in me.)
Thank you Andrea!
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QUOTES AND ANECDOTES
“Continuous effort is the key to unlocking our potential“ (Black Elk, Native American)
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INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND ANECDOTES ~ Believe In Yourself ~ August 13, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte
This is a very profound quote. If I can leave anything with you today, I would like to give you the gift of believing in yourself. It won’t happen in one day, but maybe it will be the first seed that when nurtured, will bloom into a very fruitful tree. So many of us look for validation outside of ourselves to identify who we are by how others react to us. We may look to others for approval instead of being our authentic self. It is necessary to find that validation from within in order to have a true belief in ourselves.
If we rely on others to form this belief, we may lose sight of all that we hope to be because we have compromised facets of our own personality and character so that we will be loved and accepted. This is conditional love. It takes real courage and true grit to be different and stand up for our beliefs. We can only find this courage when we have the strength and determination to validate who we are from the inner stirrings of our Maker.
These stirrings may begin by a dissatisfaction or lack of contentment in our lives that just won’t leave us, but there is a reason for this. If we are always satisfied with our situation in life, there would be no room for growth or any desire to change our circumstances or anyone else’s for that matter. Growth results in many fine attributes like self-worth, self-esteem and a desire to make a difference. With these attributes, we learn about hope and the gift of believing in ourselves…a gift so wondrous that we can stand tall and be exactly whom we were meant to be regardless of other people’s opinion of us. Be true to these inner stirrings and you will learn how to believe in yourself. Thank you God for spurring me on.
Back by popular demand. Previously posted April 18, 2011
GROWING UP AND LIKING IT ~ Four Rooms (Part 3 – continued) ~ August 3, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte
…continued from yesterday ~ part 3
I would now like to go into each room, one room at a time, to explain what is there and how you can enhance your own lives by visiting what is actually within yourselves. The first room is the spiritual room. It is the room where we develop our relationship with a higher power. As stated in my first book, for those of you who believe in this Supreme Being, you may choose to call him/her by a different name. To make my point, I am going to call mine Bonhomme (a French term of endearment with special meaning to me). In this spiritual room, we spend time praying or talking with God. It is our faith room. We don’t spend all our time in this room because if we did our lives would be out of whack. Although I feel that it is the first and most important room, I also realize that in order to have a well-balanced life I can’t live/visit here all of the time.
According to the elder, I must also visit the other rooms in my body/house. Nonetheless, every day I love to spend time with the one who gave me life and who created me in his image and likeness. “While faith makes all things possible…love makes all things easy.”[i] I start off my day by being thankful for both these gifts. Many times throughout the day, I may re-enter this room. I especially like to visit here at night just before I fall asleep to once again give thanks or to pray for those in my life in need of prayer including myself. It is in this room that I become fully alive. In our local newspaper I have read many of Karen Toole-Mitchell’s articles, which I discovered on the faith page. She has a Masters of Divinity degree. She was previously self-employed in Soul Seasons, a counseling and consulting partnership. In one of her articles subtitled “Fully Alive” Toole-Mitchell states that she has observed that some people live normal lives in extraordinary ways. In doing so, she feels that they live divinely inspired lives because they have explored their spiritual roots and have found the freedom to grow from this inspiration. Toole-Mitchell adds that because of this, these people take time to reflect on their lives and share what they have learned.
To share who we are and what we believe in means taking risks. I couldn’t agree more. To decide to step outside of our comfort zone and express ourselves more openly about our faith and spirituality creates a state of vulnerability. This is why I feel that it is a big decision to enter into this ordinary room and do extraordinary things! “For greatness after all, in spite of its name, appears to be not so much a certain size as a certain quality in human lives. It may be present in lives whose range is very small.”[ii] I love this room because no matter how small and inadequate I may think I am, I feel God’s presence and accept His Will for me. Although, I come to this room daily, I cannot nor do I want to stay in any one of the four rooms all of the time. I would not accomplish much else in my life if I chose to do so. In this room, I have found my faith and learned the art and value of balancing my life and enjoying what each room has to offer. “Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than his own soul.”[iii]
To be continued…
[i] “Dwight L. Moody quotes,”
What Quote,
http://www.whatquote.com/quotes/Dwight_L_Moody/14241-Faith-makes-all-thin.html.
[ii] “Phillips Brooks quotes,”
Wikiquote, http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Phillips_Brooks.
[iii] “Marcus Aurelius quotes,” BrainyQuote,
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quoyes/m/marcusaure10790.html.
GROWING UP AND LIKING IT ~ Four Rooms (Part 2 – continued) ~ August 2, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte
…continued from yesterday ~ part 2
In the last chapter, I wrote about the Cherokee grandfather who was explaining life to his young grandson. In Canada, we have come to call the people who were here first as First Nation people. They have asked to be referred to in this way. When we were young we always referred to them as the Indian people. Over the years, this has become a derogatory term to describe our oldest ancestors. I notice as we travel through the United States, especially through the southern states, that the First Nation people refer to themselves as Indians. We have visited many Indian Craft sales along the way and have enjoyed many facets of their culture. The signs are made by the Indian people themselves and displayed as Indian Arts and Crafts. I have a love for the Indian people as I do for all people no matter what they choose to call themselves.
The reason I have gone into this preamble is because I want to share a little story with you about an Indian philosophy that I read about many years ago. I don’t want to say that it is a Cherokee, Cree, Erie, Apache, or any other particular tribe/Indian philosophy because I don’t know which one told the story. I also don’t want to offend my Canadian First Nation people by calling it an Indian story, nor do I want to take from the American Indian who has not asked to be called otherwise. Its origin may very well be from the American Indian. “A man’s feet should be planted in his own country, but his eyes should survey the world.”[i] I would like to share this story with all those who can identify with it and appreciate that it was told by an older person in order to spread the wealth of his/her wisdom.
It has been a long time since I have read this story, and it is not one that I have kept in my night table drawer. If I don’t explain it perfectly, it is not for lack of trying. The Indian or elder in this story was describing that each of our bodies has four rooms in it. The elder goes on to say that these four rooms are spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical. The spiritual room, of course, consists of our faith and our relationship with our Creator or God. The mental room is comprised of our education, our knowledge, and our desire to learn. It deals with our intelligence. The emotional room consists of the happy times, the sad ones, what brings us the greatest pleasure, what makes us angry, and any or all emotions that we could possibly feel. Not all emotions are positive; nevertheless our human nature is comprised of the full spectrum.
Last, but not least, is the physical room where we concern ourselves with our actual body and the condition that it is in. According to this wise older Indian, in order for each of us to have a healthy, well-balanced life, we must enter into each of these rooms on a daily basis. If we don’t do this, our lives will not be as peaceful and as harmonious as they can be.
Each area of our lives must be satisfied in order to find true happiness. “Remember when life’s path is steep to keep your mind even.”[ii] It’s not to say that we won’t have hardships to face, it only means that if we are a more balanced person we will have better skills to cope with what may come our way. It has come to my attention that one of the most difficult things for us as human beings is to find that balance. As previously stated, with the stressful and busy lives that a lot of us lead, it may be hard to really find the time to follow the sage advice that is being offered. Although, I must admit, that by not at least trying to follow some of it to a small extent, it will be hard to truly enjoy life to the fullest. “There is no achievement without goals.”[iii]
to be continued….
GROWING UP AND LIKING IT ~ Four Rooms (Part 1) ~ August 1, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte
As I mentioned last week, I am now posting a chapter from Growing Up & Liking It ~ More Steps To A Happier Self. My husband mentioned that I should share this chapter with you. Obviously, it must be his favorite one so I hope you enjoy it too….
As I head toward the last four chapters, I find that once again I have more topics to cover than I first expected. I didn’t have room for this subject in I’m Not Perfect And It’s Okay, so now I have to choose carefully to ensure that I cover the most pertinent ones in this book. If only in my opinion, I am trying to prepare the best possible condensed notes in order to help all those who are willing to read them. The reason for doing this is because I have found that “in seeking happiness for others, you find it for yourself.”[i] Once again, I must stress that these pointers may not apply to everyone; however, I believe the bulk of them are universal. I suggest that you pick and choose those that apply to you and adjust them to suit your own needs. I’m quite satisfied that most of us are exposed to at least one or more of the topics I have chosen to cover. Albeit, it is always a wise idea to customize any or all suggestions to better fit the individual. In fact, there probably is at least one lifestyle recommendation in either of my books for everyone. The key is to zero in on what suits you or to focus on what applies to you in your own life.
Obviously, the skills I have attained are a result of learning to better cope and manage my own life. They are here for the asking. Not all people are asking; therefore, we must always respect each others choices. “As human beings, we are endowed with freedom of choice, and we cannot shuffle off our responsibilities upon the shoulders of God or nature. We must shoulder it ourselves. It is up to us.”[ii] In due course, if people are struggling with their lives, they eventually do reach out. My goal is to reach back at that time. “In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us.”[iii] Once a full circle has been completed, I know that I can comfortably move on and the healed person can now offer the same kind of guidance they received from me. In doing so, a chain of positive behaviors and events will link us all together in a creative and constructive
way. True healing begins with ourselves.
to be continued…
[i] “Author Unknown,” The
Positivity Blog, http://www.positivityblog.com/indexphp/2007/04/30/20-inpirational
-quotes-on-happiness/.
[ii] “Arnold Toynbee quotes,”
Thinkexist.com. http://thinkexist.com/quotes/arnold_toynbee/.
[iii] “Flora Edwards quotes,”
Thinkexist.com. http://thinkexist.com/quotes/flora_edwards/.
Like this:
I’M NOT PERFECT AND IT’S OKAY ~ Thirteen Steps To A Happier Self ~ Chapter 5 ~ July 29, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte
CHAPTER FIVE ~ He Who Laughs, Lasts!
Over the last several years, my husband and I have had a neat arrangement. He usually is not a man of many words. I am a morning person, and he is not. When we walk in the morning, he says very little. On many occasions he has told me to just keep talking and says that he will let me know when he doesn’t agree with me. So he must be agreeing with me in most instances because he usually just keeps moving along in silence. According to Wilma Askinas, “Sometimes you have to be silent in order to be heard.”[i] Publius Syrus recommends, however, to “let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.”[ii] Either way you look at it, I must admit that I already know what he does or doesn’t agree with. If I want to get him to talk, I just press one of his buttons, but most of the time I hear his silence and know exactly what it means…
[i] “Wilma Askinas quotes,”
Thinkexist.com, http://thinkexist.com/quotes/wima_askinas/.
[ii] “Publius Syrus quotes,”
QuotationsBook, http://quotationbook.com/quotes/36269/.
