GROWING UP AND LIKING IT ~ Book Review ~ October 25, 2011 by Loraine Lotter
Growing Up & Liking It is inspiring, motivating and definitely worth reading if you are in need of a life changing lesson or two. The book is full of great quotes and tips on how to cope with every day’s problems, stress and let-downs and truthfully, it was just what I needed to perk up my day. It was like a breath of fresh air.
I love the author’s laid-back writing style. You can tell that Dolores is an inspiring, humble and excitable person, accepting the challenges in life and embracing them in faith. Growing up and liking it is full of great stories, making the book so much more stimulating to read. Each line, each little joke, whether it be a factual story or not, will make you smile and keep you captivated just as it did with me.
It encourages us to stay positive, no matter what the circumstances may be. Your problems will never be bigger than you, for God will not put a hindrance in your way if you cannot handle it. I love Dolores’ advice as it is true and encouraging. The book really helps and influences you in such a way that you will accept who you are when you finish reading it. It will encourage you to think before you act so that you will make the right choices in life.
It will stimulate you in a way you can only imagine, helping you find peace and balance by following the easy, simple steps provided. Packed with loads of tips for relationships and a happy marriage, this book is really inspirational. This book is all about laughing at the small things in life, learning from every choice you make and living life to the fullest. It’s definitely a must-read for anyone who needs a little encouragement and advice in life.
Book Review by Author Loraine Lotter.
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GROWING UP AND LIKING IT ~ Four Rooms (Part 6 – conclusion) ~ August 6, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte
….Conclusion ~ part 6
The last room that is necessary to visit on a regular basis is the physical room. This is the room that concentrates on the health and well-being of our bodies. I notice as the years have gone by that more and more people are concerned about this area. The concern is not only about exercise or the lack of it but also about the food we eat. We hear expressions like “You are what you eat.” There is a major concern about the quantity of food that we eat as well as the quality of it. People can find themselves leading sedentary lives. Watching television, playing computer games, and other idle activities are adding to our sometimes poor eating habits. If we work long hours or have too much responsibility apart from work, we have little or no time to address this concern. If we are not in good health or do not have the time or the opportunity to enjoy some physical activity, we pay the price in other areas as well. That’s the conundrum! It’s finding or making the time to create a well-balanced person by addressing the needs of the whole person. “To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.”[i]
All four of these needs, whether spiritual, mental, emotional, or physical, are equally important and must be met in order to live a more centered and satisfactory life. If a person robs himself/herself in one area, it will have a negative impact in another one. By finding and achieving a healthy sense of balance in all the areas of our lives, a healthier sense of self will unfold. According to Thomas Carlyle, “He, who has health, has hope; and he who has hope, has everything.”[ii] It will then have the domino effect in our personal relationships, our family life, and our overall outlook on life. Energy begets energy whether it’s positive or negative energy. People with positive attitudes attract people with this same kind of energy. “A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshen into smiles.”[iii] The old saying “misery likes company” is the reverse of the above belief system. It actually can be true in a lot of instances.
Those people who are unbalanced in their life style choices emanate a lot of negative energy. They end up attracting like-minded individuals. The end result consists of existing in a negative life cycle the majority of the time. A lot of people are reluctant to admit that they actually can do something about it to turn their lives around. This is another area where we need to be very truthful and honest with ourselves. We need to evaluate and reassess our whole lifestyle many times over. We must continue to do so on a regular basis in order to develop the balance in our lives that we all not only crave but need. It may take time and several attempts to achieve this healthy balance but “our greatest glory is not failing, but in rising ever time we fall.”[iv] You may not succeed on your first attempt at entering all four rooms of your body on a daily basis, but keep trying. I promise that you will get better at it because “a will finds a way.”[v]
Step 10 Try your best to meet all the needs of your whole being, the spiritual, the mental, the emotional, and the physical. Once these needs are being met, a more positive, well-balanced life will follow. You will end up in the positive cycle of life. In the less positive cycles of life, you will have the skills to better deal with the situation. One of the first things to do is to set a few moments aside to ask yourself this question. Do you have a clear idea of what you want your lifestyle to look like? Sit down and write it out. Keep yourself accountable. Maybe even recruit a friend to do it with you!
I would like to thank each and every one of you for spending this precious time with me. I hope you have enjoyed reading “Four Rooms” as much as I did in writing it. I sincerely hope it has touched your lives in some small way. This is just a gentle reminder, I recommend that you now go back and read the chapter in its entirety in order to get the true essence and inspirational flow of my message. If you are interested in reading more of Growing Up & Liking It ~ More Steps to a Happier Self, I have provided the links below for you to purchase a copy at your convenience. Bright blessings to you all!
Amazon USA:
Amazon CANADA
Tate Publishing And Enterprises
Barnes & Noble:
Great quotes and quips 
Blessings for success. Win this beautiful paperback by leaving a comment at my blog. The winner will be announced Monday! You have only today and tomorrow, so go for it!! http://barbarajrobinson.blogspot.com
__________________________________________________________________________________________
[i] “Robert Louis Stevenson quotes,” BrainyQuote,
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/r/robert_louis_stevenson.html.
[ii] “Thomas Carlyle quotes,”
BrainyQuote, http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/t/thomascarl118220.html.
[iii] “Washington Irving
quotes,” GIGA Quotes,
http://www.giga-usa.com/quotes/authors/washington_irving_a001.html.
[iv] “Ralph Waldo Emerson
quotes,” Quotes and Poem.com,
http://www.quotesandpoem.com/quotes/showquotes/subject/Perseverance/4923.
[v] “Orison Swett Marden
quotes,” BrainyQuote, http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/o/orison_swett_marden.html.
GROWING UP AND LIKING IT ~ Four Rooms (Part 5 – continued) ~ August 5, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte
…continued from yesterday ~ part 5
The third room that I want to visit is the emotional room. I love and enjoy this room as well. It consists of the room where I laugh and where I cry, if necessary. Sometimes there is plenty to laugh about, and at other times there may be a sad event going on in my life that brings tears to my eyes. I deal with it here. This is an opportunity for me to also deal with all my other emotions. This is where I can admit that someone has made me angry or has upset me. I can also look at myself and admit that perhaps I have offended someone else, and I may need to say I’m sorry. In this room, I have discovered that there is a whole spectrum of emotions, which range from the very positive to the very negative. It is here that I acknowledge the full capacity of these emotions, and I take the time to decide which ones I will use to handle any situation that I may be facing.
Each of these rooms offers the opportunity to make different choices. In this room, I can take the advice of the Cherokee grandfather and decide which wolf I am going to feed. Remember that “you will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration.”[i] I can choose between love/hate, laughter/tears, faith/fear, and every other possible emotional combination in all situations. It’s okay to cry in this room if something sad is going on in my life. It is okay to know fear in this room and look for ways to overcome it.
According to Eleanor Roosevelt, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face…The danger lies in refusing to face the fear, in not daring to come to grips with it…You must make yourself succeed every time. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”[ii] It’s okay to admit anger in this room and figure out a positive way to deal with it. It’s okay to admit that someone has offended me and how it made me feel, but I must learn how to love and not hate the person who made me feel this negative way. “We can not despair of humanity since we ourselves are human beings.”[iii]
In this room, we not only have the right to face and deal with all our emotions, we also have the obligation. We must not only do it for ourselves but for the benefit of those around us. The less we deal with the things that negatively affect our lives the more power they have over us to negatively affect others. “The truth that many people never understand until it is too late is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.”[iv] We are all far better off to take the bull by the horns and face what needs to be done rather than let our past have the opportunity to affect our present and future happiness. “The future is that period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured.”[v]
It really is okay to face up to a few things in this room. It’s a well-known adage that the truth shall set you free. In this room, it is very necessary to be totally honest with yourself. It’s okay if you don’t always like what you see because then it gives you the opportunity and the real challenge to do something about it. It has been said that “The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them.”[vi] Yes, it can be frightening but “it takes courage to know when you ought to be afraid.”[vii] No matter how scared we are to deal with something that is going on in our past or present life, facing it takes courage, and it should be seen as such. “Don’t be afraid to fail. Don’t waste energy trying to cover up failure. Learn from your failures and go on to the next challenge. It’s OK to fail. If you’re not failing, you’re not growing.”[viii]
to be continued…conclusion tomorrow!
[i] “James Allen quotes,” BrainyQuote,
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/j/james_allen.html.
[ii] “Eleanor Roosevelt
quotes,” Wynn Davis, The Best of Success (Lombard, Illinois: Successories
Publishing, 1992), P.129.
[iii] “Albert Einstein quotes,” QuotationsBook,
http://quotationsbook.com/quote/19649/.
[iv] “Thomas Merton quotes,”
Thinkexist.com, http://thinkexist.com/quotes/thomas_merton/.
[v] “Ambrose Bierce quotes, BrainyQuote,
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/ambrose_bierce.html.
[vi] “Bernard M. Baruch quotes,” Famous
Inspirational Quotes,
http://www.inspirationalquotes4u.com/baruchquotes/index.html.
[vii] “James A. Michener quotes,” BrainyQuote,
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/j/james_a_michener.html.
[viii] “H. Stanley Judd quotes,” BrainyQuote,
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/h/h_stanley_judd.html.
GROWING UP AND LIKING IT ~ Four Rooms (Part – 4 continued) ~ August 4, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte
….continued from yesterday ~ part 4
The second room that I enjoy visiting on a daily basis is the room where I exercise my intellect. It is the room that I have used to better educate myself as well as challenge and develop my own intelligence. In this room, I can no longer claim ignorance is bliss. I have chosen to educate myself in such a way that I feel confident asking questions that at one time I wouldn’t have dreamed possible. Finding the courage to do so has increased my faith, not only in a loving God but in myself. Stretching ourselves mentally can come in all forms. Although I enjoy reading and playing bridge, one of the forms I especially enjoy is in puzzle form.
Over the years, I have taken great pleasure in developing my puzzle solving skills. The more I solve these puzzles the better I get at it. The better I get at it, the better I feel about myself and my own self-image. My favorite puzzles to solve are crosswords and cryptoquotes. I also now enjoy Sudoku puzzles as well. Although they all bring me pleasure, the puzzle that has enhanced my life the most is the crypto quote. This quote is encoded by mixing up all the letters of the alphabet to reflect a different letter in the quote. By figuring out which letter stands for which, you can eventually decode the quote of the puzzle. I feel that I have been doubly blessed by having both the desire and the ability to do these puzzles.
First of all, it makes me feel somewhat intelligent to be able to do them as many people I’ve discussed this with say there’s no way that they can. Secondly, and even more importantly, is the fact that most of the quotes I have saved and savored over the years are from these puzzles. Some of the wise sayings from several of the greatest thinkers that have ever lived or still live today have been found in these puzzles. I have had the double benefit of not only solving the puzzles, but I’ve personally gained from their sagacity. “Study without reflection is a waste of time; reflection without study is dangerous.”[i]
There are many ways to educate ourselves and some are a lot of fun, albeit challenging. Once again, I must stress that although I enter this room on a daily basis, I wouldn’t want to stay in it all day. I may enjoy reading, puzzle solving, or educating myself, but I have other rooms to visit. I realize that “until input (thought) is linked to a goal (purpose) there is no intelligent accomplishment.”[ii] I must use what I learn in this room to better enhance my life and the lives of those around me. This has always been my main goal, and I am still making every effort to accomplish it.
to be continued….
GROWING UP AND LIKING IT ~ Four Rooms (Part 3 – continued) ~ August 3, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte
…continued from yesterday ~ part 3
I would now like to go into each room, one room at a time, to explain what is there and how you can enhance your own lives by visiting what is actually within yourselves. The first room is the spiritual room. It is the room where we develop our relationship with a higher power. As stated in my first book, for those of you who believe in this Supreme Being, you may choose to call him/her by a different name. To make my point, I am going to call mine Bonhomme (a French term of endearment with special meaning to me). In this spiritual room, we spend time praying or talking with God. It is our faith room. We don’t spend all our time in this room because if we did our lives would be out of whack. Although I feel that it is the first and most important room, I also realize that in order to have a well-balanced life I can’t live/visit here all of the time.
According to the elder, I must also visit the other rooms in my body/house. Nonetheless, every day I love to spend time with the one who gave me life and who created me in his image and likeness. “While faith makes all things possible…love makes all things easy.”[i] I start off my day by being thankful for both these gifts. Many times throughout the day, I may re-enter this room. I especially like to visit here at night just before I fall asleep to once again give thanks or to pray for those in my life in need of prayer including myself. It is in this room that I become fully alive. In our local newspaper I have read many of Karen Toole-Mitchell’s articles, which I discovered on the faith page. She has a Masters of Divinity degree. She was previously self-employed in Soul Seasons, a counseling and consulting partnership. In one of her articles subtitled “Fully Alive” Toole-Mitchell states that she has observed that some people live normal lives in extraordinary ways. In doing so, she feels that they live divinely inspired lives because they have explored their spiritual roots and have found the freedom to grow from this inspiration. Toole-Mitchell adds that because of this, these people take time to reflect on their lives and share what they have learned.
To share who we are and what we believe in means taking risks. I couldn’t agree more. To decide to step outside of our comfort zone and express ourselves more openly about our faith and spirituality creates a state of vulnerability. This is why I feel that it is a big decision to enter into this ordinary room and do extraordinary things! “For greatness after all, in spite of its name, appears to be not so much a certain size as a certain quality in human lives. It may be present in lives whose range is very small.”[ii] I love this room because no matter how small and inadequate I may think I am, I feel God’s presence and accept His Will for me. Although, I come to this room daily, I cannot nor do I want to stay in any one of the four rooms all of the time. I would not accomplish much else in my life if I chose to do so. In this room, I have found my faith and learned the art and value of balancing my life and enjoying what each room has to offer. “Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than his own soul.”[iii]
To be continued…
[i] “Dwight L. Moody quotes,”
What Quote,
http://www.whatquote.com/quotes/Dwight_L_Moody/14241-Faith-makes-all-thin.html.
[ii] “Phillips Brooks quotes,”
Wikiquote, http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Phillips_Brooks.
[iii] “Marcus Aurelius quotes,” BrainyQuote,
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quoyes/m/marcusaure10790.html.
GROWING UP AND LIKING IT ~ Four Rooms (Part 2 – continued) ~ August 2, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte
…continued from yesterday ~ part 2
In the last chapter, I wrote about the Cherokee grandfather who was explaining life to his young grandson. In Canada, we have come to call the people who were here first as First Nation people. They have asked to be referred to in this way. When we were young we always referred to them as the Indian people. Over the years, this has become a derogatory term to describe our oldest ancestors. I notice as we travel through the United States, especially through the southern states, that the First Nation people refer to themselves as Indians. We have visited many Indian Craft sales along the way and have enjoyed many facets of their culture. The signs are made by the Indian people themselves and displayed as Indian Arts and Crafts. I have a love for the Indian people as I do for all people no matter what they choose to call themselves.
The reason I have gone into this preamble is because I want to share a little story with you about an Indian philosophy that I read about many years ago. I don’t want to say that it is a Cherokee, Cree, Erie, Apache, or any other particular tribe/Indian philosophy because I don’t know which one told the story. I also don’t want to offend my Canadian First Nation people by calling it an Indian story, nor do I want to take from the American Indian who has not asked to be called otherwise. Its origin may very well be from the American Indian. “A man’s feet should be planted in his own country, but his eyes should survey the world.”[i] I would like to share this story with all those who can identify with it and appreciate that it was told by an older person in order to spread the wealth of his/her wisdom.
It has been a long time since I have read this story, and it is not one that I have kept in my night table drawer. If I don’t explain it perfectly, it is not for lack of trying. The Indian or elder in this story was describing that each of our bodies has four rooms in it. The elder goes on to say that these four rooms are spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical. The spiritual room, of course, consists of our faith and our relationship with our Creator or God. The mental room is comprised of our education, our knowledge, and our desire to learn. It deals with our intelligence. The emotional room consists of the happy times, the sad ones, what brings us the greatest pleasure, what makes us angry, and any or all emotions that we could possibly feel. Not all emotions are positive; nevertheless our human nature is comprised of the full spectrum.
Last, but not least, is the physical room where we concern ourselves with our actual body and the condition that it is in. According to this wise older Indian, in order for each of us to have a healthy, well-balanced life, we must enter into each of these rooms on a daily basis. If we don’t do this, our lives will not be as peaceful and as harmonious as they can be.
Each area of our lives must be satisfied in order to find true happiness. “Remember when life’s path is steep to keep your mind even.”[ii] It’s not to say that we won’t have hardships to face, it only means that if we are a more balanced person we will have better skills to cope with what may come our way. It has come to my attention that one of the most difficult things for us as human beings is to find that balance. As previously stated, with the stressful and busy lives that a lot of us lead, it may be hard to really find the time to follow the sage advice that is being offered. Although, I must admit, that by not at least trying to follow some of it to a small extent, it will be hard to truly enjoy life to the fullest. “There is no achievement without goals.”[iii]
to be continued….
GROWING UP AND LIKING IT ~ Four Rooms (Part 1) ~ August 1, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte
As I mentioned last week, I am now posting a chapter from Growing Up & Liking It ~ More Steps To A Happier Self. My husband mentioned that I should share this chapter with you. Obviously, it must be his favorite one so I hope you enjoy it too….
As I head toward the last four chapters, I find that once again I have more topics to cover than I first expected. I didn’t have room for this subject in I’m Not Perfect And It’s Okay, so now I have to choose carefully to ensure that I cover the most pertinent ones in this book. If only in my opinion, I am trying to prepare the best possible condensed notes in order to help all those who are willing to read them. The reason for doing this is because I have found that “in seeking happiness for others, you find it for yourself.”[i] Once again, I must stress that these pointers may not apply to everyone; however, I believe the bulk of them are universal. I suggest that you pick and choose those that apply to you and adjust them to suit your own needs. I’m quite satisfied that most of us are exposed to at least one or more of the topics I have chosen to cover. Albeit, it is always a wise idea to customize any or all suggestions to better fit the individual. In fact, there probably is at least one lifestyle recommendation in either of my books for everyone. The key is to zero in on what suits you or to focus on what applies to you in your own life.
Obviously, the skills I have attained are a result of learning to better cope and manage my own life. They are here for the asking. Not all people are asking; therefore, we must always respect each others choices. “As human beings, we are endowed with freedom of choice, and we cannot shuffle off our responsibilities upon the shoulders of God or nature. We must shoulder it ourselves. It is up to us.”[ii] In due course, if people are struggling with their lives, they eventually do reach out. My goal is to reach back at that time. “In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us.”[iii] Once a full circle has been completed, I know that I can comfortably move on and the healed person can now offer the same kind of guidance they received from me. In doing so, a chain of positive behaviors and events will link us all together in a creative and constructive
way. True healing begins with ourselves.
to be continued…
[i] “Author Unknown,” The
Positivity Blog, http://www.positivityblog.com/indexphp/2007/04/30/20-inpirational
-quotes-on-happiness/.
[ii] “Arnold Toynbee quotes,”
Thinkexist.com. http://thinkexist.com/quotes/arnold_toynbee/.
[iii] “Flora Edwards quotes,”
Thinkexist.com. http://thinkexist.com/quotes/flora_edwards/.
