The Human and Humane Self-Help Author ~ Dolores Ayotte

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QUOTES AND ANECDOTES

“The battle of life is, in most cases, fought uphill; and to win without a struggle were perhaps to win it without honour.  If there were no difficulties there would be no success; if there were nothing to struggle for, there would be nothing to be achieved.”  (Samuel Smiles)

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My books are written in a gentle, conversational style, meant to reach my readers in a kind and non-judgmental way.

Both books, are self-help books about the steps I used to help me overcome two serious bouts with depression that I experienced in my earlier years. They are written in recipe format giving thirteen simple steps in each book that are easy to incorporate into daily living. In order to get out of the pit I found myself to be in, I had to do much soul-searching and reflection to get to the source of my depression.

My books are what I consider to be heart books.  They are written from my heart to any and all hearts that are open to my message. They are also written with the intention of reaching out to help people by sharing some of my personal experiences. Others may be able to identify with some of my stories and anecdotes.

Hopefully, my suggestions will enhance the lives of my readers in much the same way they have enhanced mine.

Through my faith,  eventual self-acceptance, and with the support of my husband, I was not only able to rise above my despair, I learned how to lead a full and rewarding life with my husband, children and now several grandchildren

My recipe for life consists of a little bit of this and a little bit of that borne from my life experiences. Usually, when I use all of the ingredients and steps…I end up with a pretty good product. Sometimes…I can still fail. It is this failure to succeed all of the time that helps remind of my humanity and the fact that I am not perfect and it’s okay.

To order “I’m Not Perfect And It’s Okay”, please click on one of the following:

Amazon USA

Amazon CANADA

Tate Publishing

Barnes and Noble

To order “Growing Up & Liking It”, please click on one of the following:

Amazon USA:

Amazon CANADA

Tate Publishing:

Barnes & Noble:

THE ROAD OF LIFE ~ December 31, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND ANECDOTES

“If you make the unconditional commitment to reach your most important goals, if the strength of your decision is sufficient, you will find the way and the power to achieve your goals. “ (Bob Conklin)

I would like to thank each and every one of you for your wonderful support in 2011. I know we all lead busy lives and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for spending these precious moments with me.

At this time, I would also like to wish you good health and much happiness in 2012.  The above quote is so appropriate as we start the New Year….when we set new goals and make a personal commitment to hope filled resolutions…when we dare to dream as we strive to reach these lofty goals for our good and the good of all.  Take gentle care my dear friends!

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Positive Attitude ~ December 22, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

MEMORY LANE

I recall going bowling in my younger years and to be honest, I do not have an athletic bone in my body.  I got the worst score possible.  It was so embarrassing!  I didn’t even realize that anyone had been watching me until after the game when this gentleman came up to me and introduced himself as a minister. 

He said something which has stuck in my mind all these years… something that I didn’t even realize I was doing.  Obviously  he could see how badly I was bowling.  It was pretty apparent but he proceeded to tell me that after every ball I threw, no matter how bad it was, I would turn around and smile at my fellow bowlers.  He then told me how wonderful he thought this was.  Wow…it was like, how could anyone smile after bowling the way I did!  I was so grateful for the compliment that I thanked him and then gave him one of my biggest smiles.  It meant the world to me that someone had given me such a fine a compliment.

That’s me in a nutshell, forever the smiley one…forever the eternal optimist.  You know the one. The one, who would be searching for a puppy if she found a pile of dung in the garage while someone else would be cursing the mess.  I would think that someone probably gave me a new puppy as a gift and I would be busy trying to find it.  There could be no other explanation!  Right?

You want to know my secret? I can usually find the bright side to just about anything. This has been my saving grace in facing the ups and downs of daily living. It has been said that “it is worth a thousand pounds a year to have the habit of looking on the bright side of things”. (Johnson)  So in other words, it is probably where some of my greatest wealth lies because in most instances this is how I choose to view life.   Choose is the key word here. In life we have many choices and our attitude usually has a huge impact on how we view life.  I guess you could always ask yourself if you see your “glass as half empty or half full”.  Your answer might give you a better understanding of what I mean.

 

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND ANECDOTES

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” (William James)

“The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose” (J. Martin Kohe) 

 

THE TRUTH ~ December 15, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND ANECDOTES

 

THE TRUTH: It may not lead you to where you thought you were going, but it will always lead you somewhere better. When ignored, it will eventually show itself. The closeness of your relationships is directly proportional to the degree to which you have revealed the truth about yourself. It can be painful.  (Source Unknown) 

It is not always easy to have honest and open relationships. The more honest they are, the more vulnerable we become….it is one of the reasons that we choose to wear masks in life.  We do this to protect ourselves from what others may think or say about us.  We usually try to put our best foot forward in order to impress people.  The more comfortable we become in a relationship, the more we feel safe to take down these barriers. 

The truth …”It’s a process of peeling away the layers of your false self, your trying-to-be-something-you’re-not self, your copycat self, your trying-to-sound-a-certain-way self, your spent-my-life-watching-television self. It’s like going to psychotherapy, delving deep and allowing the real you to emerge, only in this case you want it to find its way on to the page.” (Rachelle Gardner-Literary Agent)

Yes, the truth may not lead you to where you thought you were going but would you want it any other way…? 

The truth, if and when you choose to embrace it, has a way of cleansing your soul like a pleasant rain that falls ever so gently and washes away all your weaknesses.

The truth gives us the courage to face all that life offers.  

The truth is why we have chosen to write and to bare our souls to those who honor us by reading our words.  Yes, the truth for those who seek it, can find its way to the page. May you feel the mist on your face that mingles with your tears as you wash away your woes. (click on the above picture to feel the cleansing rainfall that the truth can offer)

 

CHRISTMAS LOVE ~ December 12, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

Inspirational Quotes & Anecdotes

For those of you who missed my post over the weekend on Just a Closer Stumble With Thee, I have reposted my article here. I hope you enjoy it. Once again, much thanks to Janet for featuring me as a guest blogger.  

The Christmas Season is upon us once again. It is only two short weeks until Christmas Eve. The hustle and bustle of Christmas is all around us as we hurry and scurry about to finish our shopping and plan for all the usual celebrations. I want to draw from some precious memories to stress the importance of keeping the true meaning of Christmas alive as we come to the end of 2011. In order to do so, I am going to travel back into my own childhood and the memories that I cherish from so long ago.

When I was a young girl, Christmas was seldom about giving gifts. If I received one…it was usually an unwrapped and much-needed article. I considered myself blessed to receive any present at all. The excitement mounted in our home regardless of the lack of presents. Christmas Eve was the start of the family celebratory season with a midnight church service followed by the special treats of homemade “tortiere”/ meat pie and other Christmas delights.

My siblings and I would tie our stockings to our wrought iron bed and wait for morning with eager anticipation. Sometime during the night, my dad would creep into our bedroom and quietly put one Christmas orange, a few peanuts in the shells, and some hard unwrapped candy at the bottom of our long stockings…stockings that we actually wore and only used in this manner once a year for this special occasion. Even when we were very young, we never talked about Santa Claus. We seemed to always know that it was my dad putting those few items in our stockings that we were so grateful to receive.

To me, Christmas Love is really about family but even more importantly, it is about celebrating the birth of Christ. In doing so, we are sharing in the joy of the holy family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph and that special birth of Our Savior that took place over 2000 years ago.

At times, it is apparent to me that society has taken the Christ out of Xmas and replaced it with many un-Christ-like substitutes…a multitude of X’s. There is much Xtravagance, many unrealistic Xpectations, too much Xtra spending, Xaggerated gift giving, Xcessive eating, Xhaustion, and too many other Xmas activities to mention. In order to truly experience the meaning of Christmas Love, it is necessary to get back to basics and keep Christ in our Christmas festivities by removing as many X’s as possible.

I also feel it is necessary to refocus and redefine what Christmas is all about and what we can personally do to recapture some of the love, joy, and peace of this wondrous season.

Therefore, on that note, I would like to wish each of you a Christmas Season filled…less with the Xploits of consumerism and…more with the Love of Christ. This is what Christmas Love is all about and why I think it is so precious. Wouldn’t you agree? 

 

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY ~ The Jongleur ~ December 8, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

I have French heritage. My dad’s first language was French and I married a Frenchman just like my dad.  Now over forty years later when I look at my husband, I can hardly believe how much he resembles him.  Perhaps it is only in his mannerisms but I see more.  He not only looks like him…it is how he acts…what he says and…also how he says it.  I have always loved my French background, but I have never fulfilled my dream of carrying on a conversation in the French language that I love so much. 

Many years ago when I was experiencing bouts of serious depression, I used to have long periods of silence.  I spent a lot of hours thinking.  Thinking about what was happening to me…thinking about how I had arrived at this point…and thinking about what I was going to do to positively change my lot in life.  The French word for “to think” is “jongler”.  When I had some of these episodes of deep thought, my husband frequently queried me about what was going on in my mind.  It was more out of concern for me than anything else. He wanted to know what I was thinking so he could better help me deal with these troubling thoughts. 

He knew how much I loved the French language and often times he would insert French words into our English conversations.  Therefore, he would ask me what I was “jongling” about on a regular basis.  He would do this to please me as well as to bring me out of that moment of despair and into our present day state of affairs.  He could tell by the expression on my face that I was troubled as I was mulling over things in my mind in order to make more sense of them.  

Now, almost thirty years later, I am writing about these very thoughts in an open and forthright way.  In many instances, I use the voice of the “jongleur” to do so.  The “jongleur” is a French minstrel who used to make his way from town to town to entertain people in the olden days.  At times, he utilized stories or music to help do this.  When I write, it is done in much the same fashion. I usually incorporate much humor… many quotes…anecdotes…and personal stories to entertain my readers. I do this to make a variety of points as well as a method of sharing my personal philosophy on life. 

Now that I have succeeded in sorting through my puzzling thoughts, I feel much more comfortable, not only sharing them with my husband and my family, but with others as well.  I am, what I consider to be, a present day jongleur as I share my written musings with you!   I sincerely hope that you find pleasure in getting to know me better and that you derive some benefit from my writing and what I have to say.  The point to my writing is not because I want to say something, it’s more about my actual need to say it. The following quote describes my desire to write in a nutshell.

“You don’t write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.” ~  F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

STORAGE BINS ~ December 5, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND ANECDOTES

To me…life is like a closet full of storage bins.  It’s very difficult to know what you want to give away, donate or discard. It’s even harder to discard some of those items that have been given to us as gifts or those that have sentimental value.  Some of these items may have little or no monetary worth but they fill our drawers and our storage bins.  I have many such items that I cannot part with because they mean so much to me. 

If I keep these items, will they have any special meaning to my children or my grandchildren? 

The last birthday card signed “with love” by my mother-in-law before she died over twenty years ago,

…the ripped sheet of paper from an old prayer-book with my father’s signature so proudly written on it,

…the scribbled notes that my granddaughter left in the bathroom cupboard,

…the popcorn pictures and artwork from my other grandchildren,

…and the albums of numerous pictures that my husband so conscientiously organized.

Who will want these treasures that I have saved?   

When I was seventeen years old, my boyfriend was chosen to go on a school trip to Vancouver, BC.  On his return, he gave me a beautiful sweater.  That was over 40 years ago. That boyfriend became my husband, my friend, my lover, my confidant. Who will want that “holey” not “holy” sweater I have so carefully wrapped and stored in some box in my basement?  Our children are going to have a huge laugh on us one day as they sort through our belongings and discover how sentimental we really are!

QUOTES AND ANECDOTES

“The man is richest whose pleasures are the cheapest” ~ Henry David Thoreau

 

IF I HAD A HAMMER ~ November 25, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

MEMORY LANE

If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morrrrning, I’d hammer in the eeevening……don’t you just love that song?  I hope you remember it. You might, if you were born in my era. 

One morning as I was walking with my girlfriends, we started to discuss how sentimental we’ve all become.  As we age, we’ve discovered that keepsakes actually matter more to us than they did in our youth.

One friend was explaining this fact by sharing a story with us.  She said she went through a lot of work and effort to make small quilts that she gave as presents to her children or grandchildren.  After they were used for their initial purpose and as the years went by, they were eventually used in some other constructive way.  The other way she noticed was that they ended up at the bottom of the dog kennel.  By the pained expression on her face, it seemed to me that she would prefer if her children were more sentimental. She had hoped they would cherish these homemade quilts in much the same way they were created.  

I also shared a story with my friends about my hammer. In this picture, my hammer is the first on one the left. Years ago when I was a preschooler and many years after that, I used to work in the garage with my Dad.  He was a self-taught carpenter as well as a general handy man.  I loved to spend time with him in whatever way possible.  At that time, he gave me a small hammer to call my own.  Over the years, I didn’t think too much about this hammer but when I got married and left home, my Dad gave it to me.  

A couple of months ago, one of my granddaughters phoned and asked if she could spend the day with us.  Her dad was on the way out and he promptly dropped her off at our house. Grandpa was busy hanging pictures using my trusty hammer so I asked our granddaughter to hand the hammer to grandpa when he needed it.  I then explained to my six-year-old granddaughter that I used this very hammer when I was about her age.  She looked at me with that quizzical look of hers and asked “really”.   I’m sure she wondered if I was ever really that young. 

I proceeded to tell her how precious this hammer was to me because it was a gift from my father and one day I would love to give it to her but I wanted to wait until she could realize the importance of it.  I want to pass my hammer along, but as simple and as old as this gift may be, I want her to keep it and do the same.  Now isn’t that silly?  Well not “really”, at least not to me. My hammer signifies a lovely memory and a cherished part of my life.  The words that I write have much the same meaning.  My words are my hammer.  It’s why I write.  I want my words passed along down the line to all who are willing to read them.  I have a message.  My message means an awful lot to me. Does yours?  If so, please join me in song and pass your hammer along.   

Previously posted on twgauthors.blogspot.com April 26, 2010

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JUST FOR LAFFS ~ November 24, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

 

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat…it’s watching what everyone else eats.” ~ Source Unknown

I would like to take this opportunity to wish all my American friends a very Happy Thanksgiving!

 

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND ANECDOTES ~ Forgiveness ~ November 20, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”  ~ Ephesians 4:32 

I love this biblical quote. It demonstrates to me that I am to forgive others “just as” Christ has forgiven me. Perhaps, I see things a little differently than some people when it comes to forgiveness but I would like to take this opportunity to explain my views. I know it has been said that we will not be forgiven “until” or “unless” we forgive others. However, according to the above biblical quote, I believe that I can also go to God as a sinner and seek forgiveness for myself from Him. When I experience His generous gift of  forgiveness and mercy, I then learn to forgive others in the same way that I have been forgiven. In other words, I am emulating God’s forgiveness.

I believe God sets the ultimate example of forgiveness by dying on the cross for my sins and I have the option of going humbly to Him and accepting His forgiveness. He’s the Teacher, not me. I personally need to learn from the Master. It’s not me showing God how I forgave so that I may be forgiven, but rather, it is God showing me how to forgive by first forgiving me for my sins.

In my situation and perhaps in other’s as well, by following His holy actions I am better equipped to forgive others because I have learned from the greatest Forgiver of all times. When we accept Jesus as our personal Savior, we not only want to forgive, it becomes a way of life as we follow in Jesus’ footsteps and forgive others as we have been forgiven by God Himself.   In essence, I have chosen to look at my own need for forgiveness first instead of looking at the need to forgive others in order to be forgiven. Once I see my own weaknesses and ask for God’s forgiveness, I am better able to accept the weaknesses of others and forgive them theirs.

“Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” ~ Colossians 3:13

This third biblical quote by Matthew says it a little differently…more like the “until” or “unless” description of  forgiveness.  “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” ~ Matthew 6:14

Perhaps, either way we choose to look at the power of forgiveness, whether we repent and seek it, or whether we forgive others then seek it…if we end up at the foot of the Cross, we are ultimately forgiven our transgressions. I don’t think the act of forgiveness is about drawing a line in the sand or an either/or type of concept. It’s not about if you don’t do things the way I think they should be done, then it’s the wrong way. Our relationships with God are very personal because we are all unique individuals. With that in mind, it is wise to acknowledge that each relationship with God is as unique as our personalities. Therefore, it is necessary to respect each other and trust that God has a plan for each of us even if it is a bit different from someone else’s path. Our heavenly Father has taken our uniqueness into consideration when forming our relationship with Him and knows exactly how to draw us closer to Him. For that, I am eternally grateful!