LOVE TRIANGLE ~ December 27, 2011 by Fred Ayotte

MEMORY LANE 

I know many of you have heard of a love triangle where 2 people love the same person. In this situation, the two suitors usually don’t like each other at all. This happened to me during my 30’s and 40’s with my wonderful wife. 

In my late 30’s, one of my twin daughters on her thirteenth birthday, acquired a brownish-red miniature poodle named Joey. He was a very beautiful dog. However, as time went by in our house, Joey came to believe that he and my wife were the married couple and that I was in the way. 

Many times I had to set him straight. For instance, my wife always went to bed a few hours earlier than me. Joey would jump onto the bed and sleep on my side. When I came to bed later, he did not want to move. I had to physically remove him (very gently) and put him on the floor so that I could get into my side of the bed. There were many other similar occasions like this where he thought I was the third wheel in our house and I had to set him straight yet again. Needless to say I was not a big fan of his and he wanted nothing to do with me for being like this. 

Many years later, when my daughter eventually got her own place, she took Joey with her. Well, as you know, dogs do not have as long a life span as humans. In his 13th year, Joey became quite sick. After numerous trips to the vet, we knew it was just a matter of time until he would have to be put down in order to prevent him from needless suffering. 

A few days before he passed away, we were visiting at our daughter’s apartment. I was sitting on a chair and Joey came right up to me and just sat right at my feet. I reached down to pick him up and he didn’t put up a fuss like he normally did. He just sat on my lap very quietly without even trying to move or get down. 

A few days later he passed away. I know, even if no one else believes me that Joey came to me before he died so we could make amends for our relationship. In his own way he was forgiving me for my behaviour. It’s too bad, we as humans; often times can’t be anywhere near as forgiving as Joey. What a wonderful world this would be if we were.  Don’t you agree?

Thanks Fred for reminding me how precious Joey was in our lives and also for the gentle reminder of the need for forgiveness.

 

REMEMBRANCE DAY — November 11, 2011 by Fred Ayotte

MEMORY LANE

We all know what Remembrance Day stands for. It is the day we stop and pay respect to all the soldiers in our Armed Forces who fought in wars. It is to thank them for what they did so that today we can enjoy the freedoms many people throughout the world still do not have and can’t even dream of having. 

Remembrance Day also has another very special meaning to me. My wife teases me when she says that I often don’t remember important dates. Well, I will always remember Remembrance Day, 1968. It was the day I proposed to my wife of now 42 years. You may ask why I picked that day. It is so I would never forget the anniversary of our engagement and at the young age of nineteen, one of the most important decisions of my life. 

It is the day that my fiancée and I started getting ready for a lifelong journey. It has been a fantastic ride for which I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. 

Therefore, for me, Remembrance Day is a day to thank those brave soldiers who allowed us to have this life and to thank my beautiful wife for agreeing to go on this wonderful never-ending trip with me.

Fred, Remembrance Day has a two-fold meaning to me as well. I will never forget either one. Thank you to all the soldiers who fought for our freedom and thanks to you too Fred, for asking me to be your wife on that memorable day so many years ago. 

  

 

THE ART OF PLAYING CARDS ~ October 31, 2011 by Fred Ayotte

MEMORY LANE

I grew in a household where card playing was a family tradition. From an early age, I learned how to play children’s games such as War, Fish, and Old Maid. As I grew older, my parents taught me how to play Hearts, Barouche, Cribbage, and more advanced card games. Therefore, as my daughters were growing up, carrying on this long time family tradition of playing cards came naturally.

When they were very young, one of their favorite games was Fish. We would play literally, for hours. As much as I loved playing this game with them, I would get quite tired after a while. However, they never wanted to quit.

As you know, the game of Fish is the matching of cards. You start by asking the other player if they have a certain card. If the answer is yes, they must give it to you. If not, then you just pick one from the deck.  After hours of playing, if my young daughters didn’t have the card I asked for, I eventually would pick one from the deck and put it in my matched cards whether they were a pair or not. Soon afterwards, the game would end. Nobody could figure out why they ended up with unmatched cards. I know some of you may call this cheating….I called it relief….lol.

It wasn’t until many years later that my daughters put “two and two together” and figured out what I had been up to so many years earlier. We all had a good laugh about it. What I didn’t realize at the time was that my oldest granddaughter, Abby who was five at the time, was listening. She is now fourteen.

Some years later during one of our many visits to my daughter (Abby’s mother) in Saskatoon, we decided to play some cards (Fish to be exact) with our young granddaughters. Abby who was now eight years old was organizing the seating. She was telling her mother and grandmother where to sit as well as her younger sister Becca who was five. Becca is now eleven.Then she looked right at me in a very serious demeanour and said “Grandpa, you sit beside me. I want to keep my eye on you because I hear you cheat at Fish”.  My wife and daughter just burst out laughing.

Alas, my reputation had caught up to me after all these years. Everyone had a good laugh and no one has let me forget it since.

Thanks Fred, for sharing this cute little story. As you can see by the pictures, Abby and Becca didn’t hold your “cheating ways” against you!

A MAN’S VOICE ~ From a Male’s Point of View ~ (My Husband’s Voice) Fred Ayotte ~ October 5, 2011

“A Woman’s Voice!”   I jokingly said to my wife that because I have been listening to a woman’s voice my entire life, I should write an article for her blog. I told her that after all these years, I am now an expert. Surprisingly, she agreed to let me do it. 

I grew up in matriarchal home where my mother was the dominant voice. She provided me with the strong will and character that allowed me to achieve the success that I have to this day. At 20, I was fortunate enough to marry a beautiful and intelligent, but strong-willed woman. She has continued to provide me with excellent advice and direction throughout my life. I once said to her, that the only person I feared in life was her. If she only knew how true that was….lol.

Through this union I was blessed with 3 beautiful daughters who have continued (or at least tried) to guide me in life. Now I am the proud grandfather of 6 girls and 2 boys. Trust me, these granddaughters have now taken up the arduous task of trying to instruct me and my two grandsons on the ways of life. We must be slow learners??? 

I have found that women bring a different and often times a gentler perspective to things. They tend to balance the approach taken by a man. Several times during my working years, my wife would offer an alternative to a personnel problem that I was facing. By looking at both sides, I was able to come up with a much better solution. 

So as you can see, I have heard a woman’s voice many times in my life. Seriously, it is a sweet sound which I would not trade for anything in the world.

Thank you Fred!

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QUOTES AND ANECDOTES

“Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.” (Aldous Huxley)

BLOG HOPPING DAY ~ Words Of Wisdom ~ July 6, 2011 by Charles Betts

In response to last week’s Blog Hopping Day post “Who Are You Performing For?”, I received this response from Charles Betts.

Dolores: I read the article by Sandra. It was interesting to see how she relates the need to perform and be accepted or approved by others with anger and power struggles and rejection. As I read this article I thought of what I used to say to my daughters [and others] when they were feeling angry toward someone, “Whoever you allow to anger you controls you” and ” if you don’t learn to forgive others, then every time you encounter that person, or hear their name, or think of them, you will endure some type of negative impact on your soul”.

The need to live and perform for Christ alone is not only paramount to a happy existence, but to me it is a part of losing ourself in Him as the scriptures advise. When we do this we find ourselves. Then the approval of others is not something we demand of ourselves, and we are free to be who Christ wants us to be. We not only lose ourselves but we lose all that baggage of anger and rejection and so much more.

This point of view of life has helped me so much in my lifetime. I hope it will help others as they learn the value of putting it into practice. God Bless, Charles Betts

Thank you Charles for once again taking a moment to share your inspirational and thought-provoking words with my readers and me. Your words of wisdom always add a special touch to each and every article you respond to.  I can see that you are a benevolent man who searches deeply into your own soul to explain what life means to you in order to help others achieve peace and contentment in their own lives.

It is apparent to me that you have learned from your own experiences and you are making every effort to share the benefit of your knowledge based on these personal experiences. I am truly grateful that you have shared your insights in such an honest and forthright manner. I hope you will continue to do so at every opportunity. It is an honor to share my space with you. 

INSPIRATIONAL POEMS~ Night Times ~ July 3, 2011 by Charles Betts

INSPIRATIONAL POEMS 

Mother cries at night

Alone

By the window

Praying

For his safe return

Weeping

Soft tears,

Like dew falling,

Gently wipe the pain

They wash her soul

 

Morning brings greetings

Smiles

Breakfast is served

All is as it was

Secrets

Neither telling,

Or caring to be told,

What the other did

To and for the other

In private at night

A Poem By Charles Betts

Sept, 28, 2005

Thanks Charles for sharing your incredible gift with all of us!

A MAN’S VOICE ~ WORDS OF WISDOM ~ June 7, 2011 by Charles Betts

INSPIRATIONAL STORIES

Dolores; Good Tues. A.M. to you and your readers. I must say I look forward to checking out your blogs each day I come back to work. The one from Mon. was interesting again.

Leadership is indeed quite a thing in this life. With leadership comes a tremendous responsibility. It takes me to the scripture that says” Make straight paths for your feet so those who follow will not go astray” [ my paraphrase]. To me, those who lead just because they are willing to take charge, sometimes lack the necessary ingredient of good and true leadership. That being the ability to recognize that some of those whom they lead need assistance along the way. Being a take-charge kind of person sometimes means we lose patience with those who are not in the same mold as we. Good people and much talent and potential is lost along the way.

When I was a very young man learning carpentry skills I was blessed to have worked with two kindly older gentlemen. They had great skills and were so patient and gentle as they brought me along the path of development. I remember particularly an incident that at the time stood out as phenomenal to me. One of these men and I were working on cabinets and he was at that time recognized as an exceptional cabinet-maker. Another gentleman came by the house and proceeded to explain to my mentor the proper procedure for what we were doing. My mentor listened so patiently until the man was done and had left and then we carried on doing it the way he knew was right. I was just so impressed because, being young at the time, my response would have been to tell this man that he didn’t know what he was talking about and that I knew right well how to do my job. It taught me a life lesson that has stuck with me ever since and I have learned to put this same principle into daily practice.

Another thing about leadership is that we must recognize our indebtedness to those who follow. Without them there would be no need for leadership and we would soon be without our jobs. We need them as much as they need us. As you mentioned, it takes all different personalities to make the world go around.

In regards to “finding oneself”, as Christ mentioned, those who would find themselves must first lose themselves in Him. Until this happens we all struggle with being someone we don’t want to be, and not being someone we wish we were. I think one reason we are so impatient many times with others is because we are impatient with our own shortcomings. When we have learned to deal with ourselves we are then prepared to deal effectively with others. Whether we are leaders or followers.

Once again, thanks for the article and allowing me to share a point of view. I recognize well that when it is all said and done, this is only my point of view.

Have a great day and God Bless, Charles Betts

Charles…I very much appreciate you stopping by and adding your “words of wisdom” to my articles. I agree wholeheartedly with you that it is necessary to lose ourselves in Christ in order to truly find ourselves. It takes much faith and great courage to do this but in the end it is well worth it.  Christ never leaves us nor will He let us down.

A MAN’S VOICE ~ WORDS OF WISDOM ~ A Response to “Shadow of the Hammer” by Charles Betts June 3, 2011

Once again, Charles Betts has shared his “words of wisdom” with me. I have chosen to share them with you.  This is his response to Scarred Seeker which was posted on Wednesday. Thank you Charles for taking the time to share what is in your heart.

Dolores; What sadness I read in this lady’s post. So many people unhappy with who they are lash out at others, Thinking, I think, that somehow this lashing out and deflating others will cause themselves to appear higher on the scale of humanity. It has been my decision since a young man in my late teens that the words I use would build and strengthen those I converse with. Once I began practising this I soon realized that when a person is happy with who they are they tend to leave others alone. One of my first thoughts when I hear someone degrading another is, ” here is a very unhappy person”. I have yet to see this otherwise.

My father was a very verbally abusive person. Thankfully for me, by the time I was 15-16 years old, I realized that his problems need not become mine, nor his character mine. By God’s grace and the scriptures I was able to forgive him and pray for his change. At the same time, I believe it was due to God helping me to recognize these traits, that I was able to change how my person developed. I am so glad He did.

I would also like to discuss some the part about controllers. It is my believe that controllers want to control because they are afraid to love and open their heart to love. They are also afraid to share their soul because they are afraid they will lose a part of themselves somehow. I liken it sometimes to the widow who was told to go to her neighbors and borrow as many vessels as she could and fill them with the meager oil supply she had. The oil did not run out until the vessels stopped coming. Such is love I feel. We are to put as much into all who come as we can. It will not run out unless we stop pouring. Once we stop then the supply stops.

I recognize that many times it takes great courage to love some people who we know will abuse that love. I think I mentioned in another email to you that my loving people has nothing to do with them many times, but more of what is in my heart to do. If they choose to abuse or under-appreciate that love, then that is their choice and a further indication of a very troubled soul.
I was so very glad to read where this lady indicates that her healing has begun. As we help others to heal we heal ourselves. To her I say, let the healing flow outward and then it will surely happen inside.
God Bless you and her for sharing, Charles Betts

FREE DRAW ~ Anyone who leaves a comment on any article from now until June 15th, gets their name put in a draw for a free copy of my book ”Growing Up & Liking It”.  The more comments that you leave the greater your chances of winning. Good Luck!

A MAN’S VOICE ~ Words of Wisdom ~ May 22, 2011 by Charles Betts

Charles Betts is a wonderful poet and a regular contributor to my blog site. I not only enjoy his inspirational poetry, I always feel great pleasure in the comments he leaves after some of my other posts. Charles is a very gifted man who has taken his calling very seriously. Today I am posting his latest comment as food for thought on this lovely Sunday morning. His words are my gift to you. Enjoy!

Charles says…I read with interest your daughters poetry. Thank her for me for sharing her heart and being unafraid to share with the world a part of herself. It takes courage to do so and also a lot of inner awareness of who we are to just put ourselves out there for others to read and be OK with their thoughts of us. For me the big thing was to know that God was OK with who I am and what I shared. After that, even though I care how they feel, their concept of me is less important than His. Please tell her I enjoyed her poem.

Now to todays blog (referring to Thoughtful Thursday). For me, in this season of my life, a scripture that has had a huge influence on me has been the one found in Jer: 9:24&25. It goes something like this;” Let not the rich man glory in his riches or the strong man in his strength, but let him that glories, glory in this, that he knows and understands me, that I am the God that exercises loving-kindness, justice and righteousness in the earth and in these things I rejoice”

When I read this a few years ago it was like a huge lightbulb went off in my soul and I knew right away that God wanted me to join His exercise program. Especially the loving-kindness part. Like any program, the more we practise it, the better we get. I decided that I would get as good as I could and not be deterred by any opposition. Whether others knew what I was doing or not, I believed and still do, that God knew and it was between Him and I and not the ones around me.

When I saw the love God has for people and the things He tolerates in us, it became easier to treat others in a loving way. Not because we deserve His love but because He is love. So it is for me, not that others deserve any kindness but because God has put it in me and they need it.

This has been a great blessing in my life and has changed how I view others and deal with them. lt makes it so that my being who I am is not dependent on them, but on my relationship with God. As long as it is OK, I am OK.

Have a great weekend and thanks for allowing me to share with you and your readers, Charles Betts

You are most welcome Charles and thanks to you too. Have a blessed weekend and a wonderful week to follow. 

FREE DRAW ~ Anyone who leaves a comment on any article from now until June 15th, gets their name put in a draw for a free copy of my book ”Growing Up & Liking It”.  The more comments that you leave the greater your chances of winning. Good Luck!

A MAN’S VOICE ~ Lost In The Mirror ~ April 19, 2011 by Charles Betts

Dolores; I read with interest your article today. To go along with this, I would like to interject that my experience in life has been, many people are unhappy today because they don’t have a connection with who they really are. They search so hard for that which is better left alone and spend so little effort searching for that which means so much. The first being the approval of others and the second being the approval of themselves in and through Christ. No wonder that the scriptures say ” He who will find himself must first lose himself in me and whoever will lose himself in me will find himself” There is no substitute that I know of. Many have tried other things but I have found this alone works. When I become overwhelmed in life, it has been my experience that by looking it over carefully, I have been attempting things on my own. Time to stop and retrace and do what I know I should, ask for and follow God’s plan.

I am also including a poem I did that sort of goes along with this. Enjoy and God bless you, yours and your readers, Charles Betts

Lost In The Mirror

I felt lost in the mirror’s reflection
‘Cause I wasn’t really sure it was me
I couldn’t seem to make the connection
‘Tween them and who I wanted to be

Like a mirror looking into a mirror
The reflections just kept going on
The ones at the back disappeared
It seemed to me that I was a pawn

I fell under the strong influence of others
I made changes I thought they’d accept
I thought for sure I would be smothered
Every change left me feeling so inept

Then one day my whole world fell apart
I couldn’t stand what I saw in my face
So I asked Jesus to come into my heart
He filled me with His mercy and grace

Now I like what the mirror is reflecting
And I like what God’s done to my soul
The mirror is His word I’m inspecting
And I’m so glad that I’m in His control

A poem by Charles Betts
July 10th 2005

Thank you Charles.  I always appreciate your insights and words of wisdom. I couldn’t agree more. I don’t usually post on Tuesday but this seemed so fitting. I would also like to share Thoughts For Today by my friend Susan Earl. She has used several wonderful quotes.