The Human and Humane Self-Help Author ~ Dolores Ayotte

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QUOTES AND ANECDOTES

“The battle of life is, in most cases, fought uphill; and to win without a struggle were perhaps to win it without honour.  If there were no difficulties there would be no success; if there were nothing to struggle for, there would be nothing to be achieved.”  (Samuel Smiles)

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My books are written in a gentle, conversational style, meant to reach my readers in a kind and non-judgmental way.

Both books, are self-help books about the steps I used to help me overcome two serious bouts with depression that I experienced in my earlier years. They are written in recipe format giving thirteen simple steps in each book that are easy to incorporate into daily living. In order to get out of the pit I found myself to be in, I had to do much soul-searching and reflection to get to the source of my depression.

My books are what I consider to be heart books.  They are written from my heart to any and all hearts that are open to my message. They are also written with the intention of reaching out to help people by sharing some of my personal experiences. Others may be able to identify with some of my stories and anecdotes.

Hopefully, my suggestions will enhance the lives of my readers in much the same way they have enhanced mine.

Through my faith,  eventual self-acceptance, and with the support of my husband, I was not only able to rise above my despair, I learned how to lead a full and rewarding life with my husband, children and now several grandchildren

My recipe for life consists of a little bit of this and a little bit of that borne from my life experiences. Usually, when I use all of the ingredients and steps…I end up with a pretty good product. Sometimes…I can still fail. It is this failure to succeed all of the time that helps remind of my humanity and the fact that I am not perfect and it’s okay.

To order “I’m Not Perfect And It’s Okay”, please click on one of the following:

Amazon USA

Amazon CANADA

Tate Publishing

Barnes and Noble

To order “Growing Up & Liking It”, please click on one of the following:

Amazon USA:

Amazon CANADA

Tate Publishing:

Barnes & Noble:

Psst…Hey EWE! ~ December 29, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

Hope…thanks so much for reading this post and reminding me to put it where others can read it! This was one of my very firsts articles.  Your lovely blog reminded me of the importance of its message. http://eyesonhope.wordpress.com

Yes you!  Now that I’ve caught your attention I really want to talk to you.  By chance do you enjoy doing Crosswords and other types of puzzles?  If so, this is the article for you.

Ever since I can remember, I have been a puzzle solver.  I love the mental challenge of trying to figure things out.  It is unbelievable how mentally stimulating and life enriching these puzzles can be. There is a wealth of knowledge at our fingertips just ready to be tapped into on a daily basis in most local newspapers.  

Now why did I choose the word EWE in my title to get your attention?  Most of you probably know that EWE is another word for a female sheep.  Over and over again this word comes up in Crossword Puzzles.  Every time I see it when solving a puzzle, it reminds me of Jesus Christ and how He is described as the gentle Lamb.  If we are to emulate Christ and follow in His footsteps we, too, must be like gentle lambs in our dealings with people. 

As we all know, it is not always easy to be gentle and kind.  Many times in life, our patience is tested as we become frustrated with the people around us.  In some instances, people may be unaware of this fact but on other occasions we may only be fooling ourselves into thinking that they don’t take notice of exactly how we feel.  The tone of our voice and our body language can quickly give away our true feelings despite what our words may say.  

I find as I do my daily Crossword Puzzle that God works in mysterious ways.  I hear God’s Word in many ways as I solve these puzzles. I can do an examination of conscience and ask myself if I have had any cross…words with any one in my life.  God can prompt me many times throughout these puzzles if I am open to His cues/clues.  He reminds me to be like the Lamb and follow in His footsteps when I come across the word EWE. 

Other times, one of the clues will ask for the letters found on the cross.  Yes…INRI.  There again, I am reminded that the Lamb died on the cross for the salvation of humankind.  This inscription reinforces that fact that I have sinned and Jesus’ forgiveness was so great that He chose to die on the cross to save my soul.  He is the Teacher and I am the student. Often times, I need to be reminded to be ready to forgive at all times because my transgressions have so generously been forgiven. 

It is truly amazing to see the many creative ways that God can reach out to people. God has a way of utilizing all his followers and reminding them of their mission in life.   We only need to be open to hearing the message!   I much prefer Crosswords to cross…words, if EWE know what I mean.

 

LOVE TRIANGLE ~ December 27, 2011 by Fred Ayotte

MEMORY LANE 

I know many of you have heard of a love triangle where 2 people love the same person. In this situation, the two suitors usually don’t like each other at all. This happened to me during my 30’s and 40’s with my wonderful wife. 

In my late 30’s, one of my twin daughters on her thirteenth birthday, acquired a brownish-red miniature poodle named Joey. He was a very beautiful dog. However, as time went by in our house, Joey came to believe that he and my wife were the married couple and that I was in the way. 

Many times I had to set him straight. For instance, my wife always went to bed a few hours earlier than me. Joey would jump onto the bed and sleep on my side. When I came to bed later, he did not want to move. I had to physically remove him (very gently) and put him on the floor so that I could get into my side of the bed. There were many other similar occasions like this where he thought I was the third wheel in our house and I had to set him straight yet again. Needless to say I was not a big fan of his and he wanted nothing to do with me for being like this. 

Many years later, when my daughter eventually got her own place, she took Joey with her. Well, as you know, dogs do not have as long a life span as humans. In his 13th year, Joey became quite sick. After numerous trips to the vet, we knew it was just a matter of time until he would have to be put down in order to prevent him from needless suffering. 

A few days before he passed away, we were visiting at our daughter’s apartment. I was sitting on a chair and Joey came right up to me and just sat right at my feet. I reached down to pick him up and he didn’t put up a fuss like he normally did. He just sat on my lap very quietly without even trying to move or get down. 

A few days later he passed away. I know, even if no one else believes me that Joey came to me before he died so we could make amends for our relationship. In his own way he was forgiving me for my behaviour. It’s too bad, we as humans; often times can’t be anywhere near as forgiving as Joey. What a wonderful world this would be if we were.  Don’t you agree?

Thanks Fred for reminding me how precious Joey was in our lives and also for the gentle reminder of the need for forgiveness.

 

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND ANECDOTES ~ Siloam Mission ~ December 7, 2011 by Gloria Korell

My Sister’s Voice

In the past few months I had the privilege of volunteering at Siloam Mission with my daughter Meagan.  I experienced first hand what it was like to do “God’s work”.  Observing the volunteers, people of all races and ages, working in such harmony to provide for the patrons of Siloam gave me the impression the work was effortless.  The eagerness to prepare a meal and clean up afterwards with such smiling faces and cheery hearts delivered a strong message about the rewards of giving.  

My first visit to Siloam left me with a different opinion of the homeless.  I discovered that they could be one of us and we could be one of them and as my volunteer experience continued so did my connection with these people.  We so often take for granted our blessings in life. 

In weeks following, each time I visited Siloam the rewards became greater.  In a strange way I was becoming “addicted”.  I needed to feel the “high” from giving.  It felt like I was becoming needy myself.  I wanted to continually hand over that plate of food so I could hear the thank you or see a smile on someone’s face.  Yes, the significance of people needing one another.  My need was just as great as theirs. 

As a result, this experience has been one of the most rewarding in my life and I am grateful my daughter had the opportunity to open her heart and give to others less fortunate.  All our experiences in life help us to “connect the dots” on our journey.  For me, this experience not only opened my eyes, but also my heart and it made me realize that I too was being fed. 

Thank you Gloria.  What a wonderful “addiction” to have!

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QUOTES AND ANECDOTES

“Remember this–that very little is needed to make a happy life.”  (Marcus Aurelius)

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IF I HAD A HAMMER ~ November 25, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

MEMORY LANE

If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morrrrning, I’d hammer in the eeevening……don’t you just love that song?  I hope you remember it. You might, if you were born in my era. 

One morning as I was walking with my girlfriends, we started to discuss how sentimental we’ve all become.  As we age, we’ve discovered that keepsakes actually matter more to us than they did in our youth.

One friend was explaining this fact by sharing a story with us.  She said she went through a lot of work and effort to make small quilts that she gave as presents to her children or grandchildren.  After they were used for their initial purpose and as the years went by, they were eventually used in some other constructive way.  The other way she noticed was that they ended up at the bottom of the dog kennel.  By the pained expression on her face, it seemed to me that she would prefer if her children were more sentimental. She had hoped they would cherish these homemade quilts in much the same way they were created.  

I also shared a story with my friends about my hammer. In this picture, my hammer is the first on one the left. Years ago when I was a preschooler and many years after that, I used to work in the garage with my Dad.  He was a self-taught carpenter as well as a general handy man.  I loved to spend time with him in whatever way possible.  At that time, he gave me a small hammer to call my own.  Over the years, I didn’t think too much about this hammer but when I got married and left home, my Dad gave it to me.  

A couple of months ago, one of my granddaughters phoned and asked if she could spend the day with us.  Her dad was on the way out and he promptly dropped her off at our house. Grandpa was busy hanging pictures using my trusty hammer so I asked our granddaughter to hand the hammer to grandpa when he needed it.  I then explained to my six-year-old granddaughter that I used this very hammer when I was about her age.  She looked at me with that quizzical look of hers and asked “really”.   I’m sure she wondered if I was ever really that young. 

I proceeded to tell her how precious this hammer was to me because it was a gift from my father and one day I would love to give it to her but I wanted to wait until she could realize the importance of it.  I want to pass my hammer along, but as simple and as old as this gift may be, I want her to keep it and do the same.  Now isn’t that silly?  Well not “really”, at least not to me. My hammer signifies a lovely memory and a cherished part of my life.  The words that I write have much the same meaning.  My words are my hammer.  It’s why I write.  I want my words passed along down the line to all who are willing to read them.  I have a message.  My message means an awful lot to me. Does yours?  If so, please join me in song and pass your hammer along.   

Previously posted on twgauthors.blogspot.com April 26, 2010

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THE THREE FACES OF EVE ~ November 23, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

MEMORY LANE

Over fifteen years ago, due to a job change by my husband, we decided to move to a small town. It had a population of about 900 people and was situated about a two-hour drive from the large city which had been our home for most of our life. At this time, our three daughters were not yet married, although one was already on her own.  The other two, nineteen year old twins, were full-time university students still living at home. I was working full-time at a major financial institution. From my point of view, this was what I considered to be a major life style change. We found an apartment for the girls, sold our house, quit our jobs and moved to this quaint little town. We lived there for six years. 

On looking back, I don’t know how we did it. It had a huge impact on all of us. Our girls found their independence after the usual trials and tribulations. My husband settled into his job and I did the best I could to fill the void in my life. This was the first time in several years that I didn’t work outside the home. I became involved in a variety of volunteer projects in order to amuse myself and fill my now long days. 

One of the things I decided to do, was take a few painting classes. I did not have an artistic bone in my body up to this point, and I had no idea what to expect. I bought my supplies and proceeded to try to learn how to be an artist. I didn’t go to many classes, but I still persisted in painting on my own. During the six-year period in this small town, I painted numerous pictures. Once we moved back to the big city just over ten years ago, I never painted again. 

When living in Pine Falls, my husband used to tease me and say that I was one of the most prolific painters he had ever seen. During this six-year period, I probably painted thirty-five pictures.  I never sold one painting, although, a few people were gracious enough to accept the odd gift.  Most paintings were “the pits” even from my own standards but there are a few that I cherish. These are three of them. 

This first painting symbolizes a “sorrowful child”. 

 

 

 

The second  one, a “shy youth”.

 

 

The third painting of, “a wiser older woman” is what I consider myself to be today.

It has taken many years and many personal trials and tribulations to arrive at this point in my life.

I call these portraits, “The Three Faces Of Eve” because they show the distinct facets and faces of my personality and the stages I have gone through to become who I am today.  Each of us has many different facets to our personalities. I am not alone. These three distinct faces demonstrate my own personal growth. They are actually an x-ray view of me.  I have used a unique and creative way to paint a self-portrait. I have chosen to paint myself from the inside out to demonstrate my maturation process. 

We all have hidden talents. It took me a long time to realize what some of mine might be. Have you had a good look at yourself lately? Are you tapping into your creative abilities? What does your x-ray look like?  Our outside image or persona may be very different from our x-ray view. True growth is discovering whom we really are and having both the courage and the freedom to express it. This experience has been very liberating for me and one I  have learned to truly appreciate.

 

REMEMBRANCE DAY — November 11, 2011 by Fred Ayotte

MEMORY LANE

We all know what Remembrance Day stands for. It is the day we stop and pay respect to all the soldiers in our Armed Forces who fought in wars. It is to thank them for what they did so that today we can enjoy the freedoms many people throughout the world still do not have and can’t even dream of having. 

Remembrance Day also has another very special meaning to me. My wife teases me when she says that I often don’t remember important dates. Well, I will always remember Remembrance Day, 1968. It was the day I proposed to my wife of now 42 years. You may ask why I picked that day. It is so I would never forget the anniversary of our engagement and at the young age of nineteen, one of the most important decisions of my life. 

It is the day that my fiancée and I started getting ready for a lifelong journey. It has been a fantastic ride for which I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. 

Therefore, for me, Remembrance Day is a day to thank those brave soldiers who allowed us to have this life and to thank my beautiful wife for agreeing to go on this wonderful never-ending trip with me.

Fred, Remembrance Day has a two-fold meaning to me as well. I will never forget either one. Thank you to all the soldiers who fought for our freedom and thanks to you too Fred, for asking me to be your wife on that memorable day so many years ago. 

  

 

JUST FOR LAFFS ~ November 10, 2011 by Dolores Ayotte

QUOTE OF THE DAY

As we age, I’ve learned that one of the best ways to be gracious about this process is to develop a good sense of humor. I am very blessed to be in a long-term marriage. My husband and I experience both the pleasures and frustrations that take place in most marriages.

It is at this stage of life, when developing a sense of humor is not only advisable, but is likely one of the most essential ingredients to any marriage spanning decades. There’s no point in sweating the small stuff. It’s far wiser to delight in our idiosyncracies as we head into the sunset together. Happy trails to you…. ~ Dolores Ayotte

 

THE ART OF PLAYING CARDS ~ October 31, 2011 by Fred Ayotte

MEMORY LANE

I grew in a household where card playing was a family tradition. From an early age, I learned how to play children’s games such as War, Fish, and Old Maid. As I grew older, my parents taught me how to play Hearts, Barouche, Cribbage, and more advanced card games. Therefore, as my daughters were growing up, carrying on this long time family tradition of playing cards came naturally.

When they were very young, one of their favorite games was Fish. We would play literally, for hours. As much as I loved playing this game with them, I would get quite tired after a while. However, they never wanted to quit.

As you know, the game of Fish is the matching of cards. You start by asking the other player if they have a certain card. If the answer is yes, they must give it to you. If not, then you just pick one from the deck.  After hours of playing, if my young daughters didn’t have the card I asked for, I eventually would pick one from the deck and put it in my matched cards whether they were a pair or not. Soon afterwards, the game would end. Nobody could figure out why they ended up with unmatched cards. I know some of you may call this cheating….I called it relief….lol.

It wasn’t until many years later that my daughters put “two and two together” and figured out what I had been up to so many years earlier. We all had a good laugh about it. What I didn’t realize at the time was that my oldest granddaughter, Abby who was five at the time, was listening. She is now fourteen.

Some years later during one of our many visits to my daughter (Abby’s mother) in Saskatoon, we decided to play some cards (Fish to be exact) with our young granddaughters. Abby who was now eight years old was organizing the seating. She was telling her mother and grandmother where to sit as well as her younger sister Becca who was five. Becca is now eleven.Then she looked right at me in a very serious demeanour and said “Grandpa, you sit beside me. I want to keep my eye on you because I hear you cheat at Fish”.  My wife and daughter just burst out laughing.

Alas, my reputation had caught up to me after all these years. Everyone had a good laugh and no one has let me forget it since.

Thanks Fred, for sharing this cute little story. As you can see by the pictures, Abby and Becca didn’t hold your “cheating ways” against you!

GROWING UP AND LIKING IT ~ Book Review ~ October 25, 2011 by Loraine Lotter

Growing Up & Liking It is inspiring, motivating and definitely worth reading if you are in need of a life changing lesson or two. The book is full of great quotes and tips on how to cope with every day’s problems, stress and let-downs and truthfully, it was just what I needed to perk up my day. It was like a breath of fresh air.

I love the author’s laid-back writing style. You can tell that Dolores is an inspiring, humble and excitable person, accepting the challenges in life and embracing them in faith. Growing up and liking it is full of great stories, making the book so much more stimulating to read. Each line, each little joke, whether it be a factual story or not, will make you smile and keep you captivated just as it did with me.

It encourages us to stay positive, no matter what the circumstances may be. Your problems will never be bigger than you, for God will not put a hindrance in your way if you cannot handle it. I love Dolores’ advice as it is true and encouraging. The book really helps and influences you in such a way that you will accept who you are when you finish reading it. It will encourage you to think before you act so that you will make the right choices in life.

It will stimulate you in a way you can only imagine, helping you find peace and balance by following the easy, simple steps provided. Packed with loads of tips for relationships and a happy marriage, this book is really inspirational. This book is all about laughing at the small things in life, learning from every choice you make and living life to the fullest. It’s definitely a must-read for anyone who needs a little encouragement and advice in life.

Book Review by Author Loraine Lotter.