Memories are the key not to the past, but to the future. I know that the experiences of our lives, when we let God use them, become the mysterious and perfect preparation for the work He will give us to do.” ~ Corrie Ten Boom ~
Over the last several weeks I’ve shared a series of posts dealing with depression and other forms of mental illness. I was prompted to write this series for two reasons. I am a depression survivor. I know the despair and debilitating effects of major depression. The reason I refer to myself as a survivor means I have figured out ways to effectively deal with overcoming my depression. It took not only months, but years, of dogged determination.
I am grateful to say that I have lived a full and rewarding life. I consider myself to be very fortunate because the initial prognosis by the medical professionals was not very optimistic. In my early thirties, I was told that I would be on medication for the rest of my life. I flatly refused to accept this course of action. I have worked long and hard to come up with better life coping skills and I have succeeded. It’s not to say that I never get depressed, it’s only to say that I am better able to handle the situation.
The other reason I am writing this post coincides with the above quote. My experience with depression has enabled me to “become the mysterious and perfect preparation for the work” God has planned for me. I feel that I am being called as an advocate to share my experiences so that others will be encouraged to speak more freely about theirs. In this way, perhaps the “stigma” attached to mental illness will continue to decline. My heart has gone out to people who have shared some of their stories with me. I want to share some of these stories with you. Dealing with mental illness is never easy whether you are the person suffering with the symptoms or the family supporting the ill individual. This heart wrenching story explains more.
One writer says…”After more than 14 years of symptoms, I finally couldn’t let my mother go untreated anymore. We had been trying to get her to go for voluntary treatment for years. I had her committed against her will and after a 6 month stay in a mental facility she is now staying with my brother who makes sure she takes her medication. She was diagnosed with Schizophrenia, but because it took so long for treatment to start, she will never be the same person she was. She lives in her own world now and is unable to communicate in any significant way with people.
I would love to see the perception of general public change towards Schizophrenia. Most people believe that it gives the person suffering from it split personalities and that they hear voices and that they are all homicidal. Truth is Schizophrenia is characterized with “hallucinations” of all the senses, sight, hearing, touch, taste, but it also breaks down the person’s ability to interact in social settings.
My mother was smart enough to hide the worst of the symptoms from us for many years. If the “acceptability” of mental illness was better, she might not have tried hiding it.”
Another writer says…“Undoubtedly there are many people who still bear a stigmatizing attitude towards mental illness, some of whom may even direct that towards certain sufferers they encounter. That is sad. However, I’m sure that there are many other people who do not have that negative attitude or mindset, and yet fail to encourage and show acts of kindness, because they don’t understand the sufferer’s needs …They don’t want to offend, or are afraid that their words or attempts at kindness may offend and “set [the individual] off,” and result in rejection.
My wife and I have experienced this during our years of pastoral ministry. However, we learned through repeated exposure and experience to look and care beyond the episode of the moment.
Thank you for this important series.”
I would like to thank both of you for sharing your stories and thoughts on mental illness. I think education and public awareness will eventually help individuals to show more compassion and empathy towards those with mental health issues. The care givers also need the support and encouragement of others because they are deeply affected as well.
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In one of my previous post, I explained the origin of one of my favorite quotes, “Live, Laugh, Love”. You can check it out if you haven’t read it yet but today is a continuation of that simple, little philosophy.
I very much enjoyed reading “Permission to Live” on The Scarred Seeker. As soon as I saw the above quote in this post, I knew I was meant to share it with all of you. Enjoy!
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Title: Moon Dance ~ a novel (321 pages)
Author: Susan Earl
I thoroughly enjoyed reading the novel, Moon Dance, by Author Susan Earl. It is very easy to discern that Susan is passionate about her relationship with God as she so skillfully intertwines her own values in her novel about Maggie and Joe.
The story takes place in Texas during the Great Depression yet despite the poverty and hardship that so many people endured; Maggie and Joe manage to find love and romance. Although, the main plot of Moon Dance revolves around the love they share, there are many other delightful characters that enhance the story line. There is much sadness and sorrow that is also addressed in this well-written, descriptive novel, but the faith of the family and the love that they all share manages to bring it to a happy conclusion. This book grabbed my attention right from the onset and I enjoyed it immensely.
Susan K. Earl grew up in a small town deep in the heart of East Texas. Her writing often reflects her roots, where good-hearted folks left a lasting impression on her life.
She has been blessed with a large, loving family, has been an educator for twenty-five years, and lives in Central Texas with her husband, her cat, and her dog.
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INSPIRATIONAL POEMS
Do you have a dream you’ve held tight
Locked inside you, kept out of sight
Unshared because you’re so afraid
Plans have not been carefully made
If others see and know your dream
Will they laugh or make you seem
Less than who you know you are
So you stay beneath the stars
But in your heart you long to give
The dream you have a chance to live
Say good-bye to all the folks
Who’d say your dream is just a joke
A perfect dream sustains our life
When overcome by inner strife
So dream your dream, let it be
Exposed for all the world to see
People wrapped in so much pain
Will see your dream and hope again
Do the world a favour friend
See your dream through to the end
When your dream has been fulfilled
All your fears have long been stilled
You’ll be glad you took a chance
All the world will share your dance
A Poem By Charles Betts
May 26 2009
What a wonderful poem Charles. Thanks so much for sharing it with us.
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The following comment is an incredible response to my post yesterday on the “stigma” of mental illness. I felt very inspired to share it with all of you.
Dolores,
My daughter was diagnosed with mental illness more than 15 years ago. Part of the problem at that time was diagnosing which type of mental illness she suffered and finding the right medication to treat her. During that time, she behaved as a fund person, really was over the top. One day she phoned and said Mom I need help, I can’t continue. Over the years, there were several suicide attempts and it was interesting the number of people who wouldn’t acknowledge her problem. The visits at the hospital were from her husband, sisters, Mom and some very good friends. Even her Dad refused to acknowledge that she had a problem (his words). He thought she was “acting.”
Stigma is a good description as to how people react. When she had cancer, the reaction was so different; likewise later when she had open heart surgery. She once commented to me – don’t they realize mental illness is as serious as cancer and heart? Under the long time care of her doctor and medication, things are improving, but there are times when she has a relapse. Over time in the business world I am surprised at the number of men I have met who suffer depression in silence. They believe any public acknowledgement would hurt their positions in society.
I think in Canada, Margaret Trudeau is a very good example of someone who struggled, was treated badly by the public and press; but is now a spokesperson for mental illness. Too often she was ignored, with nasty comments spoken behind her back. We need more people like her willing to stand up and say I suffer from mental illness, but it can be treated.
I feel for everyone who has undergone the isolation, stigma and lack of feeling of self-worth that this illness causes. We need to realize that people don’t make it happen to themselves. It very often is a chemical imbalance and improper diagnose by doctors or worst, improper treatment.
Dolores, I am proud of you for being able to speak out on this very important issue.
Thank you so much for sharing your daughter’s painful story. I truly appreciate this well thought-out and very personal comment. I have read it over and over again and I must say that a deep sadness came over me, not only for your daughter but for you too as her mother. I can well imagine your sense of helplessness as you faced this illness and the many crisis situations that arose with your daughter. I personally have experienced the “stigma” and the isolation of mental illness and I know how painful it can be. What so profoundly struck me was when your daughter said that people don’t “ realize that mental illness is as serious as cancer or heart”.
This statement holds such a powerful message and it carries even more weight because it comes from a person who has experienced all three illnesses. Rita, I am ever so grateful that you have taken the time to share this most powerful message with my readers and me. I thank you once again from the bottom of my heart.
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Over the last few weeks, I have posted several articles dealing with depression. I have openly admitted that I have suffered from this, often times, debilitating condition and was hospitalized years ago when I was at my worst. I explained in an earlier post that I hid my depression as much as possible. I have felt for many years now, that the reaction to mental illness by family and friends is very different from the reaction to physical illnesses but I think things have changed. It took me years to be comfortable enough to “come clean” in sharing my story. On Saturday, March 19, 2011 in The Arizona Republic newspaper on page E5, this letter was written to Dear Abby. I would love for you to read it and let me know what you think.
Dear Abby:
When people have a serious illness, their friends and family usually send “get well” messages and flowers to the hospital. Unfortunately, it isn’t the custom to send supportive greetings and gifts to those who are dealing with psychiatric illnesses. These people deserve all the attention and good wishes that other patients receive. Please let it be known that psychiatric illnesses are treatable and recovery is possible. Support in all forms is essential in all patients’ progress toward recovering from serious illness of any kind. – Kathy in Universal City, Texas
Dear Kathy:
You make a good point. The reason some people may be hesitant to acknowledge someone else’s mental illness may be the stigma that is still attached to these kinds of problems. For that reason, there may be a reluctance on the part of the patient’s family to reveal there is a problem so serious that their family member must be hospitalized. But you are absolutely right. When people are ill, they need to know they are cared about. A card with warm good wishes is a step in the right direction.
_____________________________________________________________________________
I know that many people today are much more open and educated when it comes to dealing with any form of mental illness. However, this letter was just printed in the newspaper last Saturday. The word “stigma” was used to describe mental illness. What I would really like to know is if you think there is still a “stigma” to mental illness and if so why. Even if you aren’t comfortable with leaving a comment, perhaps you might just ask yourself this question. Many of us have suffered in silence. If it isn’t you, you probably know someone who still might be. Have we come as far as I would like to believe or am I deluding myself? What do you think?
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One of my favorite saying is “Laughter Is The Best Medicine”. One of my husband’s favorite sayings is “Walk The Talk”. Some how or other this delightful blog by Stephanie has managed to capture the essence of both of these wise adages. I hope you’ll take a moment to visit Walking My Talk and enjoy Stephanie’s post on laughter. She shares some helpful hints on how to increase laughter in our lives.
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It seems so much easier to admit some of our silly, little habits when we find people who operate the same way. My mom was one of the biggest coupon people I know. She loved cutting out coupons and taking them to the store to redeem them for cash. The stores weren’t nearly so sticky all those years ago and they would dole out cash for your coupons whether you bought the product or not. My mom loved this little practice because money was tight in those days and this coupon money ended up being her extra cash to spend the way she saw fit.
I’m a coupon clipper. There’s no getting around this fact. The other day when I went to the local pharmacy with my wallet full of coupons, I got a bunch of excellent deals. When I jumped in the car and looked in the mirror, I realized I had become my mother. Oh my, I could hardly believe it. I not only look like her, I’m now doing the same darn thing. The scary part about it is that the realization crept up on me in such an unexpected way that it brought a smile to my face.
I don’t really need to engage in this habit. I’m not in the same position my mom was all those years ago, so why do I do it? I’ll tell you why! I have a group of friends that I socialize with and guess what? We all do the exact same thing. It’s actually hilarious. It’s a wonderful game that we all seem to enjoy. We go shopping and to restaurants with our handy coupons. Buy one meal, get one free has been the deciding factor in many of the restaurants we frequent. There is even a half-price day at the local movie theater. Our husbands have started to be as hooked as we are and they are cooperating to the fullest extent. Usually you can only purchase one item per coupon, so the “guys” sometimes join us so that they can use a coupon too. You know how much these men like to go shopping but yet somehow or other we get them to come along with us so we can benefit from two coupons instead of just one.
As I’m writing this and trying to describe this habit of ours, it makes me want to burst out laughing. Here we are…all excelling in the art of being thrifty. We are so proud of our bargains. When we’re gone and leave our children their inheritance, if there’s any to be had, I’m sure they’ll spend it faster than you can “shake a stick” and probably without a moment’s hesitation. We’ve had a blast saving our money. Hopefully, our children will have as big a blast spending it! What do you think?
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INSPIRATIONAL POEMS
Life is so much like a puzzle
With the pieces scattered ‘round
You just can’t put it together
‘Cause some pieces can’t be found
It’s so hard locating corners
And the middle seems such a maze
Try to put it all together
And it will leave you in a daze
Sometimes you find a couple of pieces
Then match them with a couple more
You think you’ve got it figured out
No way to see what lies in store
Out of nowhere something happens
And they’re all scattered once again
Impossible to understand
How can you e’er endure the strain?
I do enjoy a real good puzzle
I’ve tried my hand at quite a few
I have to say life is the hardest
I’m never sure just what to do
Now if you don’t mind me saying
I’ve got a friend who helps me out
When I go to Him with questions
His answers leave me with no doubt
If we learn to put our trust in Jesus
He’ll get to be our dearest friend
He will walk us through the puzzle
It’ll be completed in the end
A poem by Charles Betts
Jan 15th 2006
Charles you are a man after my own heart. I so love doing puzzles and this poem helped figure out a few answers for me. Thanks!
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I have never posted two blog hopping days in one week but this poem is so touching that I just wanted to share it with all of you. It is a poem written from the heart of what the people of Japan might be feeling right now. Please take a moment to read: Dear Hope, I’m Here, I’m Waiting. Thanks Hope!
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